


Breaking Point

by Stargazer1116



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy-duffy bum-bum, Friendship/Love, Misunderstandings, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 54,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14968271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargazer1116/pseuds/Stargazer1116
Summary: Kylo is a professional surfer and a wealthy descendant of Hawaiian monarchy. Rey is a surf therapist who has been working with Luke Skywalker to treat recovering addicts. Luke is also the trustee of the ancestral land that is part of Kylo’s birthright--where they do their therapy lessons--but to receive the land, Kylo must marry by his 30th birthday. If not, the land is forfeited to the state of Hawaii per an odd stipulation in his grandmother’s will. That is just two months away, and he swore to never fall in love again after suffering a broken engagement and crushed heart 6 years earlier. To help them all, Luke suggests that they get married in name only, then Kylo can keep his inheritance and he and Rey can continue to do therapy. That way, everyone gets what they want and no one gets hurt, right? What could go wrong?





	1. Dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> If you are looking for a fluffy, slow burn, angsty, romantic AU story with your favorite couple set in paradise, this is it. It is neither cannon nor smutty, but characterizations are an attempt to be true to the core of who they are. Enjoy!
> 
> This fic is written and complete. I am just editing now. I update pretty quickly...I hate waiting for updates to my favorite stories, so I wait to start posting until I am at the point where at least daily updates are doable.

1\. Dilemma

Rey rested her head back against her surfboard, eyes closed as she bobbed along in the water. She opened her eyes to drink in the azure sky above her and the turquoise waters surrounding her.

She checked her Fitbit and saw she has 30 minutes until their next batch of students come over from Second Chances. She and Luke had been working with the mental health facility to augment their rehabilitation therapy. Sometimes she felt like she needed to pinch herself that she got to combine her love for psychology and surfing into the perfect career and reside on the North Shore of Hawaii.

It all started a few years ago when she met Luke in the graduate psychology program at the University of Hawaii. In addition to the traditional courses, he taught an introductory surf therapy elective. Rey was hooked. She loved to surf and saw a natural marriage of her favorite activity with her academic field of study. It was solidified when she learned that it was particularly used for addiction therapy and to treat soldiers with PTSD.

She herself was an orphan after her parents handed her over to authorities years ago before succumbing to their ICE addiction. She felt like this was a new way she could help the many Hawaiians struggling with their own addiction demons. It also didn’t hurt that three of her best friends from undergrad were serving as officers in the US Navy now. She also thought this is a way she could honor Poe, Finn, and Rose for the sacrifices they were making for their country.

It was a bonus that she got to do all of this living on the Skywalker estate, a vast 200-acre spread just outside of Waialua. 20 acres of the land ran along the oceanfront on one end, with the other acreage trailing across the flatlands and up into the lush green mountains dotted with waterfalls on the back end. Her modest cottage Luke included as part of her pay was just a bit up from the shore. She fell asleep every night to the lullaby of the waves.

Mostly, she loved the peaceful solitude of her life. Every once in a while, the loneliness crept up and threatened to wreck the serenity she mostly felt. She had built a family of friends to substitute the gaping hole her parents had left in her life. Usually, that was enough. Finn, Rose, Poe...and Luke, they were her family.

But sometimes...sometimes her soul just craved more.

When that happened, she prayed. She wasn’t a super religious person, but it was difficult to argue the absence of a creator when you lived in paradise. And maybe...just maybe...if He was up there, He would see fit to give her what she had lost out on for most of her life. She craved belonging...someone to do life with that was hers. So she waited, she prayed, and she worked.

And most days...most days that was enough. More than enough, and she was grateful for her life, which was much more than many had. She had learned long ago to count her blessings and focus on what was good. Luke teased her Pollyanna spirit, but it is what helped her survive. It let her live beyond what her heritage dictated she should have been.

She really couldn’t believe her life. It was almost too good to be true.

And...it was. She had no idea what was brewing that threatened to tear apart the life she had built. Like a tropical storm, strong winds were coming.

____________________________

Kylo ducked his head to head into his tent. He had an hour break before his last heat. His competitions as a surf pro took him all over the world, but the Billabong Pipe Masters was just down the coast from where he spent many of his growing up years. He wasn’t sure if it was the proximity to home, the time to think, or both that led his mind back to his growing dilemma. He had been putting off thinking about it, but he was running out of time.

He couldn’t believe that his grandmother, Padme, or Meme everyone had called her, descendent of Liliʻuokalani, the first queen of Hawaii, shackled him with this burden. It was odd that she had skipped over his mother and Luke with the ancestral land bequeathment, but even more strange that she included the stipulation that he must marry before his 30th birthday to claim his inheritance. Until that time, Luke was designated as trustee of the land. If Kylo was not married by then, the land would be donated to the state as a park.

Kylo knew he couldn’t let the land that had been in his family for generations be handed over to a government agency, but he was running out of options. He didn’t date. He had not dated since...well, he just didn’t. He felt like his focus on his surfing without relationship entanglements was part of his success as a professional surfer. Good for surfing, but it meant any romantic possibilities were non-existent.

Sure, there were surf groupies that were always lingering about, but he wasn’t interested. He was sure they were nice girls...maybe...but he wasn’t tempted by their superficial artifices of bikinis and tans. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about what would tempt him. So he kept plugging along, honing his craft and racking up competition titles...alone.

He sighed as he ran his fingers through his jet black hair that hung in wet waves to his shoulders. He had his Hawaiian ancestors to thank for his hair, but his Haole ancestors to blame for his pale complexion. He didn’t mind though--his alabaster skin made him stand out in a sea of caramel-skinned bodies, and initially, it made his competitors underestimate him, assuming he was green to the sport. Also, it got him a sunscreen sponsorship from an island company. They kept him with an endless supply of the sunscreen he desperately needed while he promoted how well their product protects from the sun.

He stopped his ruminations and forced his mind to focus back on the competition at hand. He was undefeated this season, and he wanted to keep it that way. His edge was his incredible mental focus, and he wasn’t about to let that slide now. After this, he had three weeks off before heading home for Christmas. He would postpone thinking about his quandary until then.

For now...now the waves called him. He tuned out everything but the sound of the sea, willing it to communicate it’s secret patterns to him. He meditated on the rhythm of the waves, their pace crashing on the shore, and where they were breaking after providing the perfect pipeline swell. This is where he belonged.

____________________________

After the awards ceremony where Kylo collected his first place winnings, he returned to his tent to collect his things. When he walked inside, he was stunned to find his uncle. Luke and he had a falling out years ago. He had trained him, but they parted company over a disagreement in Kylo’s training. He sought out a new coach, and Luke refocused on his therapy career. That was six years ago. The only time he had seen him since was at his grandmother’s funeral a few years prior.

“What are you doing here, Luke?”

“Ben, we need to talk.”

“I don’t go by that name anymore...you know that.”

“Fine--Kylo--we need to talk.”

He really didn’t want to have a conversation with his uncle here in his tent where anyone could overhear.

He nodded, knowing the talk needed to come. “I have three weeks off now. I was planning to stick around the North Shore, but if it is OK with you, I can come to stay in the cottage and we can have all the conversations you want.”

“You can’t stay at the cottage.”

“OK. Look, I know things between us weren’t left well. I can just stay at the Turtle Bay Resort like I was planning if you would rather….”

“No...I mean, Rey lives there now. You can stay at the main house. I am in the east wing, so the apartment in the west wing is available to you.”

“Who is Ray, and why does he live in the cottage?”

Luke sighed, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, under the long sandy-grey locks, not wanting to start this conversation here. “That is part of what I want to talk to you about.”

Luke was the trustee, so he had the legal ability to make a decision about the property. And, since they had no communication in so long, it made sense that Kylo didn’t know about it. He couldn’t shake the feeling, though, that this Ray-guy was going to make his dilemma more complicated. How he had the added weight of a tenant added to his shoulders.

“Why don’t you just come over when you are done here. I have some food from Kono’s I can heat up for dinner. Then, we can talk.”

Kylo nodded his head in affirmation and turned to strip off his wetsuit.

“By the way...you looked great out there. Congrats.” Luke’s eyes watered in spite of himself, and he ducked out of the tent before Kylo could respond.

The words made Kylo’s hands pause. The last thing he expected to come from his uncle’s mouth was praise. Things with them had ended poorly. He quickened his motions, anxious to get to the bottom of what Luke wanted to chat about.


	2. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quickly, because you need more context...

Kylo pulled the rental jeep off the main road on to the private driveway he knew so well. The monkey pod trees on either side of the road created an arched canopy leading to the large plantation-style home at the end. He parked and sat for a minute to collect his thoughts. He heard the myna birds in the trees, smelled the fragrance of plumerias in the air, and the crashing waves further down the way. The sounds soothed his turbulent thoughts a measure.

He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation with Luke, but he was anxious to just get it over with. With a sigh, he climbed out of the vehicle and made his way to the porch.

The door was open. He kicked off his flip-flops on the front mat and walked inside.

Memories came crashing in on him as he made his way through the entry. It was a beautiful home that held so many scenes from his life. Joyful times as a little boy with his grandparents. Hard times with his parents. That episode with Luke. Too many to ponder now...so he kept walking.

He found Luke on the back lanai that overlooked the sea. The main house was on a slight incline, just up from the beach. The view was always stunning, but always changing with the weather typical of the tropics. Right now, that view was sunny and warm. It stood in contrast to the storm of his emotions. He did his best to push those aside as he took the seat next to Luke.

They both just sat there quietly for a moment before Luke spoke.

“How have you been?”

This wasn’t what Kylo had been expecting to hear. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that.

“I am...OK. I have a lot on my mind.”

Luke eyes finally left the horizon and twinkled as they glanced over to him as he murmured. “Yes...yes I’m sure you do.”

Another bout of silence ate up minutes of time.

Luke took a deep breath before asking, “Do you know what you are going to do?”

Kylo just shook his head.

“Do you have any...prospects?”

This time, a nervous laugh and another shake.

“I am surprised. You aren’t that hard on the eyes, and there are always women around in your line of work….you do like women, right?”

“Of course I do! Not that much has changed. I’m just not interested in the women I find on the circuit.”

Luke studied him carefully, as if he knew what he wasn't saying. “I see.”

A bit more silence. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Sure...a beer?”

Luke snorted as he chuckled. “I probably need to explain a bit more about what I’ve been doing here. Rey and I run a surf therapy program for recovering addicts. Because of that, and some of Rey’s background, we are a dry campus. Sorry...I have iced tea? Pog?”

Kylo’s eyes were full of questions. “Surf therapy? What kind of crock is that?”

Luke’s eyes remained calm, if not a little amused. “I assure you, it’s a legitimate, research documented line of therapy. Second chances in Haleiwa uses it as part of their program. That is part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I have a vested interest in what happens to this property to continue our work here. I don’t want to lose it any more than you do.”

His mind swam as he processed what his uncle was telling him. “Tea will be fine.”

Luke got up to refill his and get Kylo’s drink, leaving his nephew alone to his thoughts. He wanted to ask the older man more about what he just revealed, but even with the little he revealed, weight was added to what he already carried on his shoulders. It was starting to feel like too much a burden to carry.

When he returned, Luke set down the drinks and tentatively offered, “Kylo--I have an idea.”

After taking a swig of his tea, Kylo met his eyes. “What might that be, old man?”

“Well, you need to get married per the provisions, and you don’t have any potential fiances. I need to keep this property to continue to minister to the souls that are brought here seeking freedom from their demons. And, Rey still needs a place to live. I might have something that could resolve all of these.”

“And what is that?”

With an exhale, Luke pushed out, “You could marry Rey.”

Kylo spit out the tea from his mouth. “Marry Ray? Have you lost your mind? I’m not marrying a guy!”

Luke’s eyes furrowed in confusion before widening in understanding and then crinkling in mirth.

“Take a walk with me. I want to show you something, then we can talk some more.”

Luke led him down the road, past the cottage and down to the shore. At first glance, the water appeared to be empty.

But then, at a good distance, Kylo saw a long surfer paddling out. From his vantage point, it was hard to make out anything about the wave rider. He watched as they turned and started paddling into position to catch the coming swell.

Once the rider stood up on the board, he saw that it was a woman in a green two-piece suit. He saw her form balancing with expertise as she caught the edge of the rolling wave. Even he was impressed with the ease she rode the pipeline wave with, and when it was done, she looked up and noticed them on the shore. She rode the wave all the way in before hopping off the board and tucking it under her arm as she trotted up to meet them.

As she got closer, Kylo tried not to appreciate her appearance too much. He took in her modest suit covering her athletic, tan form. Her light brown hair was caught up in a top-knot with wet wisps framing her face. Arching brows, one of them raised in question, framed the top of her hazel eyes while freckles dotted across her cheeks and nose at their base.

With a great deal of amusement in his voice, Luke said, “Kylo...this is Rey. Rey...this is my nephew, Kylo.”

He watched the young man’s face move from appreciation to confusion. Once the realization came, he saw a slight flush come across his cheeks.

Rey’s face broke into a huge smile that lit up her eyes. Kylo felt some breath stolen from him. Was light literally shooting out of her eyes? How could someone’s face do that? He couldn’t help but just stare open-mouthed.

She stuck out her hand to greet him, and her lilting, accented voice called to him. “It’s so nice to meet you, Kylo.”

He just left her hand hanging there for a moment while he collected his rational mind again. THIS was Ray? Rey? Rey was a woman?!?! Finally, his wits circled back to consciousness and he was able to eke out, “Nice to meet you too...Rey.”

Luke’s voice was a bit too jovial. “Rey, why don’t you get cleaned up and then meet us for dinner on the lanai in a bit. Kylo and I have some things to discuss.”

She nodded, eyes going back to Kylo with a question in them before jogging up the sand to the cottage.

With a steely edge in his voice, he gritted out, “You could have told me.”

“True, but it was a lot more fun this way.”

_________________________________

Once they were settled back on the lanai, Luke asked, “So...it my proposition a bit more attractive now?”

He was still seething at his uncle. “Well, it is a least in the right neighborhood.”

Luke nodded as he chuckled. “I wish I had a picture of the shock on your face.”

“I am glad you found it amusing.”

“I’m sorry, Kylo. You aren’t the first one to find her name confusing. I shouldn’t have had fun at your expense. But, seriously...she is tolerable, isn’t she?”

Kylo released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “She’s lovely. I am sure she has no trouble finding men, and she doesn’t even know me. You do, so why do you want to shackle her to me?”

Luke’s eyes sought the water again. Softly he said, “Rey is very special. Her story is hers to tell, so I won’t go there. While yours is different, there are some commonalities that tell me you might at the very least understand each other. I know you won’t believe me, but I do love you, nephew. And, I truly see Rey as my own daughter. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have the two young people I care about most in the world be a little less lonely together, and hold onto the land they both love so much. And, who knows...maybe you can find a friend in each other?”

The wind was taken out of Kylo’s sails. He didn’t even know how to respond. How could Luke even suggest such a thing? Marry a woman he didn’t know? He swore to never fall in love again. But, that wasn’t what this was. Maybe this was safer? Maybe this was a way without risking love?

“Why do you think she would even agree to such a thing?”

“Well, I’m not really sure if she will. But, she is a sensible girl. I think if we explain the situation to her, she will at least consider it. She has a vested interest too. Really, we have nothing to lose here. If she hates the idea, you are no worse off. But...if she agrees…”

Kylo’s turbulent emotions returned. He needed space. “I’m going for a walk. I will think about what you have said and we can talk more later.”

He took off in the opposite direction from the cottage, not wanting to risk running into Rey. His bare feet pounded the sand as he sought out the spot he was looking for. A few hundred feet down the sand, he saw the dune rise. He trotted up the incline and sat on the rock. His rock. The rock that overlooked the tidepool at low tide and the water at high.

This was where he would escape as a boy. When he got in trouble, when his parents fought, and when grandpa died. He sat there and sifted Luke’s words with his own ruminations that had been turning in his mind for weeks. He was running out of options. If he had friends, he would consider asking someone to enter an arrangement with him, but he didn’t. Finding someone romantically was out the question in his mind. So...what did that leave?

It left him with nothing.

Nothing except maybe what Luke was suggesting?

His thoughts drifted back to the girl. She seemed nice enough. She was more than tolerable, and he chuckled at Luke’s question about that. There was a warmth that radiated from her...and she surfed. Maybe they could get along? Maybe this could work?

He didn’t know what else to do. He wondered for the millionth time why Grandma Padme would do this to him. Why would she place such a condition on him? She had passed away almost 4 years earlier. He still remembered the shock at the words the lawyer spoke when they had gathered for the reading of her will. He had stormed out, stunned at the cruelty her actions towards him seemed to be.

Now that he was on the precipice of the time he had expiring, he realized he didn’t have time to belabor why...he just needed a solution. And at the moment, this seemed like the only one. He sighed and left his perch to walk slowly back. He was a man of action, and once he decided something, he didn’t like to tarry. Better to get this over with and see if he needed to come up with something else.

______________________________

Rey stored her board on the covered porch of her little house before heading inside to shower. She couldn’t remember Luke ever talking about a nephew, so she was a bit surprised to have just met one. Her mind searched for a word to describe him. Dark? Brooding? Maybe a bit rude? Why was he staring at her like someone trying to figure out a puzzle?

She shrugged before pulling out a sundress and clean underthings as she prepared for her shower. She adored Luke, but his nephew seemed like a whole other species. She wondered how long he was going to stick around. Something about him seemed familiar...though. She couldn’t really place a finger on what it was.

Once she was cleaned up, she pulled back the sides of her hair in a barrette and left the rest of her bicep-length hair down to dry. The turquoise dress she pulled out was a favorite. It was calf-length and loose from the smocked strapless bodice. The well-worn fabric was soft and the Hawaiian print was muted. It was comfortable and cool, two requisites in her clothing. She slid her feet into brown leather Rainbows and headed up to the main house.

She found Luke and Kylo sitting on the lanai, nursing iced tea. She noticed a glass sitting on the dining table near the chair next to Luke’s other side. Her nose took in the smell of Korean BBQ chicken and fried rice from Kono’s that Luke was reheating.

Luke smiled as she approached. “How were the waves today, dear?”

The ocean was her happy place. Her face couldn’t help but break-out in joy when she thought about it.

“Wonderful! I went out after lunch, and while I waited for the waves to pick up, I found a school of dolphins to hang-out with. It was amazing!”

Kylo couldn’t help but grin a bit at her. Her effervescent personality was infectious. He wondered if this woman ever had a dark thought. His eyes took in the pleasant presence of her. There was something soothing about her, and he was seldom soothed.

Luke excused himself to collect the food, and the two of them were left alone.

“So...I didn’t know that Luke had a nephew…” she ventured.

She observed what she interpreted as a grimace on Kylo’s face. “Yeah, we aren’t that close, and I haven’t seen him for a while.”

Her eyebrow raised, and she tried to imagine what kind of person Kylo was that he wasn’t close to Luke. He was like a surrogate father to her, so a distant relationship with this young man didn’t bode well for Kylo’s character. She didn’t have time to ponder that further when Luke came back with a few covered dishes. She jumped up to help.

“Luke, please, let me.”

“No, no, dear. I got it. Just go grab the plates on the counter?”

So she did and they sat down to the simple meal.


	3. Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And...because I just can't seem to stop myself...

After some small talk as they were eating, Luke cleared his throat.

“Rey, I have something I need to talk to you about. I know you know that I have had something on my mind the last few months. I did not want to burden you with it, but the time has come for you to understand what is happening. When my mother passed away a few years ago, she had some...creative items in her will. My sister Leia inherited a property in California where she and her husband live. They are Kylo’s parents. And, I inherited some substantial financial means. The creative bequeathment was what she left to Kylo. He is the only grandchild, so she left this property to him. 200 acres, including this house and the cottage. However, there was a condition placed on his ownership. That condition is that he must be married by his 30th birthday to inherit it. If not, her will stated that it would all be handed over to the state of Hawaii to be used as a national park.”

Rey’s mind tried to absorb all that Luke was telling and the implications of it. “So...Kylo will be our landlord?”

“Well...no...it’s more complicated than that. You see, Kylo turns 30 in two months. And, he isn’t married.”

Her mind reeled at that. She wasn’t surprised he wasn’t married as he seemed a bit surly, but his lack thereof meant what for her? And Luke? And their therapy practice?

“I see. So, we have to leave?”

“Maybe. But there might be another way?”

“I’m confused...what other way? Is he engaged?”

Kylo shook his head.

Her questioning eyes turned to Luke. “Then what?”

“Well, if someone had just as much to gain from him keeping the property was willing to enter an arrangement with him, that could take care of it.”

The questions remained in her eyes until they flew wide open with understanding.

“WHAT?!?! What are you asking me to do?”

Luke reached out his hand to cover hers and gently said, “Rey, I’m not asking you to do anything you aren’t willing to do. Just that you hear me out...us out.”

“But...I don’t even KNOW him. I literally just met him and we’ve spoken a dozen words to each other. This is crazy!”

“Yes...it kind of is, I would just ask that you think about it. What I am presenting is just a possibility. A business arrangement. You could keep the practice, as we have discussed after my retirement in ten years, and the land stays in our family.”

“What is wrong with him that he can’t find anyone on his own?”

Kylo’s voice was low and slow, “I am literally right here. You have no idea what the circumstances are of why I’m not married.”

His words caught her and pierced her conscience. “You are right, I don’t know. I apologize if I am in a bit of shock and am not choosing my words carefully.” She turned to Luke. “I...I think I need a bit of time to sort through this.”

“Of course you will. Kylo will be staying with us for a week or so. Might I suggest that the two of you get to know each other a bit? Spend some time together. See if that helps you both see what to do?”

They looked at each other warily and agreed. “Good. Now, my old bones are tired tonight. But, it would be a great night for a walk on the beach.” With that, he winked and left them alone.

Kylo reaches up to rub the back of his neck before begrudgingly saying, “I suppose we should do as he asked”

She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “Of course...I’m sorry a walk with me is so distasteful to you.”

“Rey...that’s not what I meant. I’m not known for…” he paused searching for the right word.

“Civility?”

“I was going to say something along the lines of being social. I’m just not very friendly, especially with people I don’t know. Relating to people doesn’t come easily to me.”

Rey searched his face as if looking for the truth in his words there. She sighed. “I suppose this is why we should spend some time together. How about we start with our full names?

Kylo chuckled. “Well, that might be more complicated than it seems. C’mon—let’s walk.”

_____________________________

“So, my birth-name is Benjamin Kylo Solo. Kylo is Hawaiian. My grandmother’s grandmother was a Hawaiian monarch—that is where this land originated from, and why it’s important for us to keep. It has literally been part of our family for hundreds of years. I didn’t have the best relationship with my parents, and their name carries a fame I didn’t want any part of. My mom was a California State Senator, and my dad was a professional race car driver. When I turned 18, I left home and changed my name when I started surfing professionally.”

She stopped suddenly and clasped her hand to her mouth. “Stars...you are Kylo Ren. That is why you looked familiar!”

He smirked at her. “You didn’t know that before?”

She shook her head. “You are amazing. I didn’t see results from Billabong. How did you do?”

He shrugged, deflecting her praise as he sheepishly said, “I won.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “Ok...now I am really confused. When you were just a nice-looking normal guy…”

“You think I’m nice-looking?”

She ignored him and continued “...it was still hard to see why you would need this...need me. But now...I mean...you are a celebrity. Certainly finding women shouldn’t be a problem for you?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Kylo, we are supposed to be getting to know each other.”

He stopped and stuck his hands in his pockets as he watched the waves. “That story might be a lot for one night. I will leave it at this for now. I was engaged before. It didn’t work out, and I decided not to do that again.”

“You mean get married?”

“No...well yes...that too...but, fall in love I mean. That’s not an option for me.”

To a normal person, such an admission might work on the surface. But Rey was a professional therapist, and she knew self-protective denial when she heard it. As she debated how to proceed.

“So what about you?”

His words pushed her out of her thoughts. “What about me?”

“Yeah...you. Name? Relationships? Engagements?”

He tried not to notice the flush creeping up her neck.

“My full name is Rey Elizabeth Johnson. No...I haven’t been engaged. Or in a relationship, for that matter. I have dated here and there, but nothing serious.”

“Why not?”

She sighed, “Truth? I am an orphan. I was in the foster system until I aged out and went to college. My education was my way out, so I focused on my studies. Then came grad school...I just never gave the space for it.”

He was quiet for a moment. “What happened to your parents?” he asked softly.

“They were addicts to ICE. They gave me up to a firehouse when I was 5 in England. I came here to Hawaii for school and never left. If I am really being honest, maybe that is why I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I...I guess I don’t know how.”

He considered her words for a minute. “That is hard to believe...that no one would pursue you despite that.”

“Oh...a few have tried. But, I am pretty stubborn.”

By this point, they had walked far down the beach, nearing the edge of the property line. 

“Well, Rey...is there anything else you need to know about me?”

“Not about you per se, but I am just wondering about something. If I agreed to this, what are the terms?”

“The terms?”

“Yeah...like is there a length of time we would have to stay married? Where would you live? What do you expect?”

“The will stipulates that the marriage must last at least five years, so there is that. I would probably live here. You can stay in the cottage if you’d like. I can have the apartment in the west wing. Not much else would change. I am gone a lot for work, so I wouldn’t be around all the time. And as far as what I expect? Really, only Luke would know about our...agreement. We’d be married in name only in reality, but at times we would need to make appearances as a couple to make it believable. The legal issue of fraud is a concern here, so we would have to sell it. There are some events and family functions I’d need you to put on a show at. Things like my parents home at Christmas, the Make A Wish Gala...maybe a few surf final events. I know your work is important to you...I would try to keep those kinds of requests to a minimum, just what is needed.”

She nodded, obviously deep in thought. He had definitely thought this through a bit. She had a lot to process. She eventually raised her eyes to his, and with a smirk asked, “Do you want to go surfing tomorrow?”

That wasn’t what he expected her to say. “Huh? Ummm...sure? I guess so. What time?”

“Our first group comes at 10am, and I have some paperwork to catch up on too. How about 7am? Before breakfast?”

“Sure...I am an early riser. Meet on the beach?”

“That works. Well, I am going to head back now. Thanks for the walk, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Rey quickly walked to her home as her counselor's brain did battle with the storm brewing in her heart.


	4. Consideration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why? Because I love y'all and the sweet love you are showin' me with this fic!

When Kylo made his way down to the beach, Rey was already sitting in the sand. In the morning chill, she was dressed in a long-sleeved rashguard and pink floral bottoms. As he approached, he noticed that her eyes were closed. When he was a step away, her eyes flew open.

“I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to disturb you. Were you meditating?”

“Close...praying.”

“Oh...I...uh...sorry.”

“No worries. I was done...mostly.”

“Do you...ah...do that often?”

“I do...is that a problem?”

“What...no...Go-...I mean, no. I didn’t know you were religious.”

“I don’t go to church or anything, not for a while, but I have always prayed. I believe that our lives have a purpose...this is how I get in touch with what mine is.”

“Oh...well, that’s cool. Were you praying about…” He trailed off, not sure if he should ask. Somehow he didn’t think the Big Guy upstairs would approve of what they were considering. Deception didn’t seem like His thing.

“As a matter of fact, I was.”

“Are you sure that is a good idea? I mean - it doesn’t seem like something he…”

Her serene eyes scanned the horizon and she softly said, “I have learned that things are not always as they seem on the front end, and grace can be found in unexpected places.”

He didn’t know how to respond, so he chose to change topics. “So, are you...ah...ready to head out?”

“Yup...c’mon, Solo. Time to show me what you’ve got.”

He winced a bit at the moniker she chose for him but didn’t say anything. They paddled out in silence, waiting and watching for the wave patterns.

As they started to roll in, Kylo was surprised at her skill and agility with the waves. In the early morning, they were medium-sized but consistent and he watched her in awe. She was good. Not as good as him, but really good. It was a pleasant yet surprising morning. She earned a new level of respect from him, and he looked forward to heading out again with her sometime soon.

“Not too bad, Solo, not bad. But...can you make breakfast?”

He playfully kicked a splash of water at her, “It depends on what supplies you have.”

“Eggs...Portuguese sausage, mangos...you up for it?”

“You’re on, Keoa.”

She looked at him curiously, not knowing what he meant. But before she could ask him, he had trotted on ahead of her to the big house. When she caught up to him, he was already in the kitchen pulling the needed items out of the fridge.

He turned and saw her standing there. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up. I got this.”

“You don’t have to make me breakfast, Kylo.”

“It’s no trouble.”

She crossed her arms and smirked. “Is this you trying to woo me?”

He couldn’t help the grin her words brought, so he teased back, “Is it working?”

She cocked her head, “Maybe.”

“I’m teasing, Rey. I remembered you said you have some work to get done after breakfast, so go get cleaned up now, then you can get to that afterward. I don’t mind. I actually like cooking. I don’t get to do it much, and it’s not as much fun to just do for myself.”

“I...ah...OK. Thank you.”

He watched her run out of the house to the cottage without looking back.

_________________________

Rey ran all the way to her bathroom and shut the door, leaning against it while she tried to catch her breath.

First, he has surprised her showing up while she was praying...shirtless. Stars, he was huge and she tried really hard not to stare. It just felt wrong to go from talking to the Lord to looking at...that! She had never seen a man built like him.

And now...now he was cooking for her. He had no idea of how scarce food was in her parts of her background, and that feeding her was a sign of affection to her, deeply rooted in her psyche. Grown-up Rey knew rationally it was just breakfast, but the 12-year-old Rey inside was screaming to her, “MARRY HIM! MARRY HIM NOW!!!!”

She shook her head as she disrobed and jumped in her small shower. She couldn’t let herself get distracted, here. This was too big of a decision to let muscles and food dictate.

By the time she was dressed in simple cutoffs and a t-shirt, he was setting plates on the table. The smell actually made her knees weak.

Kylo started to dig in after they sat, but then pulled his hands back suddenly. “Do you...ah...sorry, do you pray before you eat?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Only if you want to?”

She gave him a soft smile, “I try to live a life of gratitude. He knows I am thankful...I don’t do that at every meal.”

He seemed to relax at that. She picked up her fork to dive in, and he followed her lead.

“Coffee?”

She wrinkled her nose. “You can move the girl to Hawaii, but you can’t make her drink the coffee. I might surf, but I’m still a tea girl.” She rose to turn on the tea kettle.

“So, tell me about the surf therapy you do? What happens when they show up?”

He was starting to get used the light that radiated from her when she was talking about something she loved. “Sure. So Luke and I augment the treatment that the psychiatrists at Second Chances do with the patients. I know it sounds a bit hippy-ish, but Surf Therapy utilizes the ocean and learning process for its mental health benefits, such as increasing self-efficacy, alleviating insomnia, and improving cognitive concentration. These are common areas that addicts struggle with during their recovery. We basically do surf lessons for them, with extra guided discussions, particularly grounded in helping them build a sense of control over an area of their life, and a physical outlet to help them deal. It is also commonly used for veterans suffering from PTSD, and other areas of mental health. We currently just work with Second Chances, but I would like to expand to veterans as well.”

“Why is that?”

“I have three close friends from college currently serving in the Navy. Poe is a pilot, Finn is an officer, and Rose is a communication equipment specialist. I would love to have a way to help their mates if needed.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Wow...that is cool. So...what drew you to this work?”

She pushed her eggs around. “I was always drawn to being an addiction recovery therapist, for obvious reasons. I fell in love with surfing as a kid. I loved the ocean, but it’s so cold where I am from. I would watch Gidget and old surf movies in the UK and just loved how free they seemed...and warm. Really, that is what drew me to come to Hawaii for school...that and to get far away from England as I could. I met Poe at orientation, and he taught me the first week I was here. I have been hooked ever since. That was 8 years ago.”

“Was Poe one of the ones who tried?”

Her eyes got big, confused with the turn in the conversation. “What?”

“Last night...you said some tried to date you...to get serious. Was he one of them?”

“Well, not that it is your concern, but as a matter of fact, yes he was one. But it was very early on, and we just became good friends. He’s engaged now.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to pry. But if we go through with this, we need to know those kinds of things about each other, and if anyone is lurking in the background, it would be good to know.”

“I see...so will you tell me about your ex-fiancee?”

He grew very still, his hand freezing as it started to pick up his coffee. He exhaled and said, “Someday...Keoa...someday. But not this day.”

She decided not to push him any further and didn’t want to ask about the word he kept calling her just yet. “I...I need to go get some things done. Thank you again for breakfast.”

Kylo watched he walk out the door. He rubbed his eyes. He knew he would have to tell her someday...and as a professional, he knew she would be a good listener. But, he didn’t want her pity. He felt like he could be friends with Rey, but he couldn’t stand her feeling sorry for him.

His eyes fell on the calendar near the counter. December 1st. He heads to his parents for Christmas in California in three weeks. His “time is up” date is January 31st, his birthday. He doesn’t know if he can do this. This probably isn’t going to work, and it makes him feel like he’s losing everything.

________________________________

“Kimo! That is fantastic! I am so proud of you!”

Kimo was in his 50’s and had been strung out on various drugs his whole life. Crystal meth was his latest captor. It had taken the arrival of his granddaughter, Luna, to be his "why." Rey firmly believed in helping her patients work on their why when they were out in the water. They needed that reason to hang their recovery on. It often shifted over time, but there was usually a trigger to start, and for Kimo, right now that was baby Luna. He had been working on standing up on the board for several weeks, and today he was finally successful.

“Thank you, iki kekahi. I can’t believe I finally did it.”

“Kimo--what does that phrase mean?”

“It means “little one” in Hawaiian.”

“I see.” She was thoughtful for a minute before hesitantly asking, “Kimo, can you tell me what “keoa” means?”

“Sure! It means “light of day.” Where did you hear that?”

Rey was confused. Finding out what Kylo kept calling her just brought more questions instead of answering the one.

“Um...a friend said it the other day, and I wasn’t sure what they meant. OK..time to head in. How did that feel?”

Kimo’s partially toothless smile broke out into a big grin, “honestly, doc, it feels like a high.”

Rey didn’t correct him on the doctor part. He called her that often, even though she wasn’t a doctor. He meant it as a term of respect to her. She knew that the adrenaline released from success on their surfboard is part of why this therapy helped. “That is a good kind of high, Kimo. A good kind of high. One that Luna can be proud of.”

As they paddled in, she couldn’t help but wonder again...why was Kylo calling her light of day? What did that mean?


	5. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good morning friends! Here's an update to start your day! Mahalo for reading!

Rey didn’t see Kylo again until the next evening, so she had lots of time to walk, think, and pray. The more she thought about the decision in front of her, the more she felt like she should do it. It flew in the face of rational thinking, on one level, to marry a man she hardly knew and commit to five years. But on the other hand, losing the ability to help patients like Kimo, and expand to veterans someday soon was too painful for her to think about.

Rey was a pretty good judge of character. Her growing up years taught her hard lessons about people much too young. She knew how to use her intuition and professional training together to read people. While her first impression of Kylo was that he was cold and a bit arrogant, he had shown her a nurturing, caring side as well. She felt like they could at least develop a mutual respect for each other, if not a friendship.

All things considered, for her and the Skywalker family, she felt like five years was doable. She could last that long...pretend that long. It wasn’t forever.

She was still pondering over all of this, thinking through if her decision was final when she found him at her spot on the dune. The sun was just starting to descend as she walked up to him.

“I see you found my spot.”

He turned and looked at her incredulously, “Your spot?”

She sank down to sit next to him. “Yeah...I mean, I know technically, the land is yours. But, this is my thinking spot.”

When she looked up into his eyes, she noticed how warm they were...like melting chocolate on a s’more. She thought a girl could drown in those expressive orbs.

“Well, great minds think alike, Rey. I have been coming here for the same reason since I was old enough to wander off on my own. It’s a good place to ponder.”

She noticed that he wasn’t clean-shaven like he was when he got here. The dark growth just added more to the brooding dark thing he had going on. She noticed too that what she thought were freckles was a constellation of beauty marks across his face and neck. She hadn’t sat this close, peering in his face yet. It felt a bit more intimate than she intended. So, she did what she did best and deflected.

“Kylo...tell me about why you don’t want to lose this land. I mean, I know the obvious--that is is extremely valuable, but what does it mean to you?”

His eyes turned away from hers as he seemed to search for the answers to her question in the waves. “Besides the obvious, that it has been part of my family for generations and the meaning that brings, it is important to me personally. I grew up partially here and partially in California. My early years were...difficult. My parents fought all the time...still do some, though a bit more constructively now. Often it was about me. I was a pretty difficult child and even worse teenager. In those years, coming here to stay with Meme and Papa was my happy place. I actually came and lived here as soon as I was out of high school. That is when Luke was my coach...I knew then I wanted to surf professionally. This is where I learned. This spot is where I would come after a fight with my parents, or an emotional outburst. I always found solace here.”

“It’s good to have a place like that.”

“It is. But, its a bit clouded now. I just can’t understand why my grandmother would put the condition she did on it. I know she loved me...it doesn’t make any sense.”

“I am sure she had her reasons.”

“Meme was a very smart woman. And cunning. She was an expert barterer. No one was ever able to pull anything past her. You did not want to mess with her when it came to bargaining or her family. This whole situation, in light of that, is perplexing to me.”

Rey’s gaze fell from his face to the water. “So, I have a few more questions.”

He turned to her, seeing the sun radiating from the gold flecks in his eyes. It almost made them metallic. “Shoot.”

“So...this all has to be wrapped up by the end of January, right? So let’s say I agree to this, right now. How do you see this playing out?”

“Well...if you told me now, I would say we need to book you a flight to California for Christmas. My parents will never buy me getting married to someone they haven’t met. As far as a wedding, I would rather not wait until the end--that probably looks more suspicious. Maybe early January? Maybe even New Years Eve? That seems like a romantic, wedding-ny day to pick.”

“And...what would that look like? Running off to Vegas?”

Kylo snorted. “Definitely not. That is not my scene. I always imagined getting married here, on the beach. Even though this won’t be real, it will probably be the only wedding I have...so that would be nice.”

“Do you think your parents will buy it?”

“Maybe. Dad, sure he will. But, my mom is cut from the same cloth at Meme. She would be harder to fool. It would involve some acting...convincing. Then again, at the moment she thinks I am never getting married, so she might so desperate to hope it can happen that she would allow herself to believe.”

“Do you get along with them now? Your parents?”

“I mean...they are family, and family drives you nuts sometimes, but it’s better than it was when I was younger.”

“Do you have siblings?”

He paused and his voice was thick. “No...not now. I had a baby sister that was stillborn when I was eight. They were stuck with just me.”

Rey’s eyes swam with emotion at that information, and she tried really hard not to analyze Kylo. But the more she learned about him, the more she understood why he was the way he was.

“I am so sorry for your loss.”

He didn’t answer but did a funny motion with his jaw that was endearing.

She blinked her eyes a few times to clear them. “Kylo, this land is important to me also. Living here, the work we do...it means a lot to me. I want to help you...help us.”

His eyes were on her face, searching for the meaning in what she said.

“What exactly are you saying, Keoa?”

“I’m saying I will marry you, Solo.”

His eyes crinkled and his lips danced into a crooked smile. “Really?”

“Yup...really. I’ll do it.”

She thought she saw emotion well up in his eyes, but it disappeared quickly. “Thank you, Rey. I know represents a sacrifice for you...I’ll try to make it easy for you.”

“It’s a sacrifice for what is important to me too, Kylo. It’s not just for you. Besides, how bad could you be?”

He tried not to laugh, “We’ll see, won’t we?”

_________________________________

They didn’t tell Luke the news until the next morning. His eyes crinkled deeply and it seemed like years fell off his face. Rey didn’t realize until then what a burden it had been for him. She knew he was trying to protect her.

He asked, “So...what now? We have a wedding to plan?”

“Yeah...but very minimally. We were thinking New Year’s Eve here on the beach. Just family. Rey and I will head to Mom & Dad’s on the 20th and will break the news to them. They were planning to come for New Year’s anyhow, so the timing should work. My season doesn’t start again until March, so that helps to give some time to help with appearances that I’m not leaving my bride right away.”

Luke nodded, his mind obviously racing. “You need a ring.”

“Sure...we will take care of that. We can go shopping.”

“Kylo...you don’t have to buy me an expensive ring. It’s just for show.”

“I know...and no one will buy that someone with my means doesn’t get a nice ring.”

“But…”

“May I interrupt, here? I have a solution that might be agreeable to both of you.” With that, Luke disappeared into the house.

“What is he doing?”

“I have no idea, Rey. He acts like a crazy hermit sometimes.”

Luke returned with a small package in his hand. He set it on the table in front of Kylo. It was a box...a jewelry box. Kylo reached out to open it and inside found Meme’s ring.

“It only makes sense that if you were really engaged to someone, you would be using that ring.”

“I didn’t use it last time.”

“All the more reason it will be more believable now. Besides, Meme had it worked on a few months before she died. The prongs were replaced, and she had it reconditioned.”

“What was she up to, Uncle Luke?”

Luke just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe she just wanted to leave it nice for someone to inherit.”

Rey leaned over Luke to peek at it. “Can I see?”

“Sure,” Kylo said as he slid it over to her.

It took her breath away. It had a decent sized center oval diamond...maybe 3 or 4 karats? The setting was antique and beautiful, done in white gold or platinum...she couldn’t tell. It was in a swirling vine design on the side of the larger stone, set with many smaller diamonds as it tapered to the band and continued around.

“It’s beautiful” she whispered as she inspected the ring with awe.

“Try it on--we might need to get it sized or something. That could take some time, so it would be good to know now.”

Rey nodded and reverently slid it on her ring finger. She gasped...it was exactly the right size. “It’s fine--perfect even.” She looked up at the two men. “I know how important this is to you...I will take very good care of it. I promise.”

Luke patted her hand, “I know you will, dear. Don’t worry about that, right Kylo?”

Their eyes turned to the younger man. He was trying to reconcile how he felt about Meme’s ring on Rey’s finger...fitting perfectly on her finger. He knew it was part of their facade...which should feel wrong...but it didn’t. That freaked him out a bit.

“Kylo?”

“Huh….oh...sure,” he said absently.

Rey’s brow furrowed as she took in his reaction. “I don’t need to wear this one, Kylo. We can just get a good fake for show and…”

He shook his head. “No...no, really, it’s OK. I guess I am just emotional seeing it again.” On your finger...he didn’t add…

Luke cleared his throat. “OK...so that solves the ring issue. What about her flight to LA?”

Kylo was grateful for a new destination for his thoughts. “Um...yeah, right. I will call the airline today.”

“I can pay for my ticket.”

“Rey, I travel so much, I have like a million miles built up. It’s free - you don’t need to pay for it. It’s the least I can do before you pretend to be my fiance in front of my parents.”

‘Oh...well, in that case, sure. That works.” Then she broke out in a grin. “I’ve never been to California!”

Kylo realized that this arrangement would only work if he knew her better. He let the surprise he knew was on his face now show in front of his parents. They had work to do.

Luke seemed to agree. “So, I suggest you spend a lot of time together in the next few weeks. You need to work on your story.”

“Story?” Rey asked.

“Yeah--your story. How you met, how he proposed. You need to work on understanding the high points of each other a bit more so it’s believable. Also, I know it might be awkward, but you probably need to talk about what kind of affection you are comfortable with displaying.”

Kylo swallowed hard. “Affection?”

“Yes...affection. Your parents are never going to believe that you are engaged to someone you don’t touch or look at affectionately at all. Even reserved couples have some level of visible affection. I mean, look at Prince William and Kate. They hardly ever touch in public, but you can see it in their faces that they love each other.”

“Right...”

Rey spoke out. “It’s Thursday, and I don’t have any more sessions with clients until Monday. I have four days I can devote to our...study?”

“That works. OK...how about we go get some dinner and talk about it?”

Luke smiled. “That is perfect. I ate a big lunch, so I was just going to make some popcorn and watch a war documentary that is on tonight. You two kids go on and pretend to have a date. It will be good practice.”

As he watched them head out to Kylo’s jeep, Luke finally allowed his wry smile to surface. He knew exactly why his mom did what she did...and he was doing her part to help her plan along. They knew his heartbroken nephew would never put himself out there again. Meme had played her last bargaining chip well in her attempt to bring love and healing to her grandson’s wrecked heart.


	6. Getting to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No too long...I might update again tonight with a little positive reinforcement!

Kylo pulled the jeep up to the valet at the nearby resort and walked around to help Rey out of the vehicle, holding his hand out to her. She really wasn’t used to that, someone acting like a gentleman with her. The men in her life were kind, but no one had ever tried to assist her out of a car before. She hesitantly took his hand and landed next to him on the pavement. She knew he was tall, but peering up at him this close, she got a better gauge on just how much taller than her 5’6’ he was...it looked to be nearly a foot taller. She gulped. He released her hand and guided her inside with his hand hovering lightly on her lower back. 

“Um...where are we headed?”

“Pa’akai. Have you been there?”

“No. I haven’t gotten out much since moving here.”

“Well, the food is good, it has a nice view, and it’s quiet--good for conversation. I like the filet...but feel free to get whatever you want.”

Her eyes fell down to her left hand, still not believing the ring she wore there.

“Kylo...please stop feeling like you have to buy me things.”

His mouth tightened into a thin line. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Let’s talk about that once we are inside, ok?”

They had to walk the whole width of the hotel to get to the restaurant. It was in silence, both of them sorting through the reality of what they were doing.

Finally, they were seated at a secluded table overlooking the water. The hostess handed them the menu and drink menu. Kylo held the later up to her with a questioning eye, and she shook her head slightly before he handed it back to the hostess. “We don’t drink, thank you, though.”

After she left, Rey said lowly, “You don’t have to refrain because I choose not to.”

“Honestly, I don’t indulge in alcohol much. Once upon a time, I did, but I like to be in control of myself. But if you don’t mind me asking, why do you choose not to?”

“It’s just easier. Some parts of addictive behavior are learned patterns, but some of it can also just be a chemical reaction with your body. With my history, it’s just never something I wanted to tempt. I’ve tried sips here and there, but I don’t really enjoy it and it doesn’t seem worth the risk.”

“I see.” Just then the waiter showed up, and he ordered iced tea for them both. Once he left, Kylo turned to her to start the discussion.

“So...our story?”

She started to say something, but then their drinks showed up so she paused and thanked their waiter. After he left, she started again. “I was thinking, the easiest thing would be to keep the story as close to the truth as possible. We can stretch it where needed, but it will make it easier to remember, and it will feel most natural.”

“Like…”

“Well, we can say that we met when you came to visit Luke on the property. Then we can just fudge on the timing.”

He was quiet and nodded, mulling her words over. “And the engagement?”

“How about that you proposed at ‘our spot?’”

“Our spot?”

“Yeah - at the dune? Technically, that is where we decided to do this...where I said ‘yes’ to your ‘proposal’--so there is an element of truth to it, right?”

“Right...that makes sense. How long have we been dating?”

“A bit fast is OK to help explain why they don’t know about me, but not too fast or it will cause worry. Maybe six months?”

“A whirlwind romance, huh?” he said with a grin.

“Sure. We just couldn’t help ourselves.” She returned his smile before asking, “How long did you date….before you got engaged last time?”

His smile faded and his voice was flat. “Four years.”

She sensed his resistance still on the topic, and wanted to keep the conversation lighter. “Listen, we can wait as long as you want for that story, but I will need at least some of that info before we visit your parents, OK?”

His eyes softened a bit and he nodded.

“What is your favorite color?”

He looked confused, but answered, “Black.”

She snorted, “Figures. Favorite food?”

Understanding was seeping into him. “Steak.”

“Dessert?”

“Chocolate...dark chocolate.”

“So, I will be marrying a dark chocolate carnivore, huh?”

His grin returned. “Kind of. I like shave ice too.”

“What syrups?”

“Tigersblood.”

“Mmmm--I’m more of a coconut and blue vanilla girl myself.”

“What about you? Favorite color?”

“Turquoise...or emerald green. I love the colors of the island.”

“Food?”

Her eyes lowered, hesitating in her answer just as the waiter came to take their order. When they were finished, she started again.

“It is probably important for you to know that I have a complicated relationship with food. It is sustenance, but it is also emotional for me. I was in a few foster homes that...well...food was not a regular thing. I don’t really have a favorite food...because all of it is. Being able to eat is my favorite. Having the provision to eat is a blessing I don’t take for granted.”

She saw anger flash in his eyes, but he remained quiet with his jaw doing that quirky thing again. Finally, he spoke.

“Rey, if we are going to get away with this charade, I need you to let me do things. You said it was best to be as natural as possible. If we were really together, we wouldn’t be arguing about me buying you dinner. I would sure as hell be feeding you. But I’m not just talking about that. While we are married, from now until this is over, I WILL be buying you food...and gifts...and plane tickets...and I need you to be OK with that. Because if you were mine, I would be taking care of you and providing for you. And you don’t need to feel guilty about that. Money is not an issue for me...and I am happy to do those things out of gratitude for you and what you are doing for me. It is what I would do.”

Rey’s pride stung a bit. Her whole life, she had been fighting to care for herself. And, she had done a good job at it. Life had taught her that no one else would. She knew what he said was true...but she wasn’t his. How could she pretend like she was without losing herself? Would this wreck her?

“I know you are right...this is just hard for me. I’m not used to relying on others.”

“You rely on Luke, right? You work together? Share food? Share chores?”

“Well...yes…”

“How is this different?”

As he was talking, his hand came to gently rest on hers. It was warm. The touch of it shot sparks across her skin. This is why it was different. As much as it pained her to admit it, she was attracted to this man. That made her pride involved sting a bit. She swallowed it down and squeaked, “It isn’t.”

The food came just then, and she was grateful to have a way to distract her wayward thoughts. He released her hand as they prepared to eat.

She cleared her throat. “So...what about the expressing of affection. Can you tell me a bit about how you have been in relationships before? What is your family used to?”

He chewed the bite of steak in his mouth as he considered her questions. “Well...I know you may not buy this with the dark carnivore rep I have, but I am actually pretty affectionate in relationships. Not in an overt, gross PDA way, but I can be pretty touchy.”

She felt panic start to rise. This was not going to be good. Already tonight he had touched her a few, innocuous times, but she had felt her body react. What did she get herself into?

“So...are we talking holding hands? Kissing? What?”

His eyes raked over her, seeming to sense her unease and trying to figure out the problem. “Yes. I don’t make out in front of my family with women, but holding their hand, my arm around them when sitting, a kiss on the forehead...stuff like that.”

That didn’t sound so bad. In fact, it sounded nice. She could do this...couldn’t she?

“OK. Wha---what about at the wedding.”

He continued to chew while considering her behavior. She was nervous. He could smell it on her.

“Rey, you don’t have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. There is no pressure, but at the wedding, kissing is expected. At least once, but probably a few times is more believable.”

“Oh...of course. That is...fine...yes...fine.”

“You seem uncomfortable with all of this. Are you sure this is what you want to do.”

She didn’t feel like she could be completely honest with him. How could she just blurt out that she was worried about losing her heart? She couldn’t...wouldn’t say that. So she lied.

“I am fine...maybe just a bit overwhelmed with all of this? But yes, I am sure about all of this. I’m not backing out.”

The conversation turned to lighter topics, like school, hobbies, movies, music and such. After sharing a macadamia banana bread pudding, Rey felt like she didn’t need to eat for a week. 

As they walked out, she thanked him for dinner.

“Rey...couples don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Thank each other for dinner. It’s just something they assume will happen and not thanks is involved.”

“So...what do they do?”

He smiled softly as his hand caught hers and he laced their fingers together. “Things like this.”

The action stopped her words, and she tamped down the pleasing waves of pleasure reverberating up her arm from the feel of his touch. She was starting to worry that “pretend” affection with him wouldn’t be so pretend. It was going to be too easy to get used to.


	7. Preparation

As the days flew by, a bee-hive of activity swarmed in Rey’s life and mind. She and Luke wrapped up their sessions with their clients for the holiday break. Modest plans were made for the wedding. Rey knew of a local pastor that agreed to officiate, and Luke arranged for a catered dinner.

After Rey left breakfast one morning, he whispered to Kylo, “She needs a dress.”

“Huh?”

“A dress!” He hissed. “A bride needs a dress.”

“She doesn’t have one?”

“A wedding dress, nincompoop. Women usually get married in a fancy dress.”

Kylo considered his uncle's words, but he was clueless as to what he should do about it.

Luke rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. “Kylo...why don’t you take her shopping for one?”

“Oh...oh. Right...I should do that.” The young man jumped up to find his faux betrothed. Luke called after him, “And figure out what you are going to wear too!”

_Did he have to do everything for them?_

___________________________________

He found her reading on her porch. He tried not to notice her long, tan legs were stretched out on a stool in front of her.

“Hey,” he greeted her softly.

“Oh, hey Solo. What’s up?”

“So...I was thinking we should go dress shopping.”

“Dress shopping?”

“Yeah--wedding dress shopping.”

“You want me to shop for a wedding dress...with you?”

“Sure...why not?”

“Isn’t that supposed to be bad luck or something?”

“Does that really matter in this case?”

“Right. I guess young people are less traditional these days anyhow. You wouldn’t be the first groom shopping for a wedding dress.”

For some reason, the words groom coming out of her mouth hit him funny. He didn’t dwell on it.

“Should we just go get it done?”

“I guess so. I don’t want anything fancy.”

“Of course...whatever you want.”

Luke had given him the address of a shop a friend of his owned...The Castle. He said she did a wide variety of weddings and should have a wide selection to choose from.

As they walked in, all he could see was a sea of white. How could anyone pick from so many choices? And they all kind of looked the same. He was completely out of his element.

A tiny woman approached them. “How can I help you.”

“Um...hi. My Uncle Luke sent me? I’m looking for Maz?”

“I am Maz.”

He took in her slight appearance...she was under 5’, and her face was dominated by large, thick glasses. It made her eyes look large and fishy. He tried not to stare.

“We...ah...are looking for a wedding dress.”

“Of course you are...you are in a wedding dress shop.” She looked back and forth between the two of them. “Who is getting married?”

“We...we are.”

At his words, Maz raised an eyebrow, obviously dubious of his words.

All of the sudden, he realized they did not look like a couple in love, about to get married. He scooted closer to Rey, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Rey...honey...why don’t you tell her what you are looking for?”

Rey’s mouth hung open a little bit, staring up at him like she was in a trance. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before murmuring, “C’mon Ku‘uipo, don’t be shy. Remember, you said you wanted to do this together. Are you getting nervous about the bad luck thing now?”

Rey pulled herself together and looked to Maz. “Yes...I mean, no I’m not. We...I, rather, need a dress.”

Maz’s eyes glanced back and forth between the two of them. Something about them gave the impression she could see into your soul.

She concluded her assessment of them and continued. “Of course, my dear. What kind of dress did you have in mind?”

“Nothing too fancy...simple.”

“And...where are you getting married?”

“On the beach.”

“And when?”

“New Year’s Eve.”

Maz’s eyes shot wide at that. “THIS New Year’s Eve? Or next year?”

“This.”

“Do you mean in three weeks, child?”

Rey’s eyes met hers. She felt guilty and she wasn’t sure why? And flustered. He was still holding her and it felt nicer than she wanted to admit.

“Is that a problem?” Kylo asked.

“Not necessarily...but it does narrow your choices since you must choose from what I have in stock and what doesn’t need much to be altered. And your names? Rey and…”

“Kylo.”

“Ah..yes...now I know who you are. The wayward surfer nephew, Ben Solo. Why do you go by Kylo?”

How did this woman need to know so much? She was an excellent audience to test their act out on. “It’s my middle name--I use it professionally.”

“Hmmm. Ok...Kylo...why don’t you wait there and let me show Rey a few things. Then I’ll let her try them on for you. You do want to see them...yes?”

“Yes...we aren’t really superstitious. I want to see.”

She smirked. “Very well. We will just be a bit. Make yourself comfortable.”

He sunk down on the delicate looking chair and looked around. Some of the dresses were just over the top and seemed gaudy to him. He hoped she didn’t pick something like that, but whatever she wanted he would support.

He could hear their voices, even laughter. Maz seemed to friendlier with Rey than she was with him, and he wondered why. Fifteen minutes later, he heard the rustling of fabric coming down the hall.

She came around the corner, and his breath caught. She was wearing a white lace dress. The lace was soft and flowy. It was an off the shoulder style with a ruffle that hung all around the top, where sleeves would be, and it covered most of the top of the dress. It hugged her figure until it hit down below her knees and then flowed out softly from there with a slight train in the back.

Over the last few days, his heart had been sending out little test signals, like it was trying to see if it was still alive. The light in her eyes, her infectious laughter, the way she called him Solo. It all was starting to creep under his skin. But this...seeing her like this, this was sending him into a full panic. She shouldn’t look so good...so perfect. He wanted to squirm.

But they were in front of Maz, the seer of all things, apparently, and he needed to pull it together. He sighed and pushed a smile out, saying the first thing that came to his mind. “Nohea….”

Maz could tell she didn’t know what he said, so she whispered to Rey, “He says you look beautiful.”

She looked to Kylo and smiled shyly. “Thank you. I feel beautiful.”

“Then you should get it.”

“But there is more to try on.”

He stood up and walked over behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. “Do you want to try more dresses on?”

She gently rested her arms on top of his. “No...not really. I love this.”

He looked at Maz and handed her his black credit card. “We’ll take it.”

The tiny woman smiled up at him. “It’s not unusual for the first dress to be the right one. Sometimes you just don’t need that much time to decide when something is right.” She punctuated that phrase with a wink.

“I will keep the dress for a few days and have it cleaned and inspected. You don’t need any alterations--it fits you perfectly. How lucky that the perfect fit was just right there under your nose.”

Kylo couldn’t wait to get out of this shop and away from this woman that seemed to know more than she should. She was making him think about things...and he just didn’t want to.

“Now, my dear, let me help you out of this.”

Rey left with her to get back into her clothes. He grabbed her hand as they walked out to the jeep and he helped her inside.

After he got in, he exhaled. “That was weird.”

“Kiss me…” she hissed at him.

“What?” he choked out.

“She is watching and assessing us. It’s like she knows. What if she tells someone? Just kiss me.”

His eyes softened on hers and lowered to her lips. Rey was just trying to prove a point to that nosey little shop lady, but the air had suddenly shifted and now she wasn’t sure what was happening. He raised his hand to cup her cheek. He looked back up at her like he was questioning if she really meant it before he lowered his lips to hers. The contact of his huge, soft lips sent a bolt of electricity to her spine and wave of weakness to her knees. She was sitting...but she felt like she was falling. She raised her hand up to grab his wrist, as if it would hold her steady.

He finally broke the kiss after what felt like a lifetime and brought his lips to the side of her head.

“Do you think that was believable?” he whispered right into the shell of her ear, erupting goosebumps in a wave down her neck.

She didn’t trust herself to talk yet, so she just nodded her head. He smiled at her as he released her to start the car and begin the journey home.

She was quiet. Her mind flitted between the unbelievable sensations his kiss brought out and her need to protect her heart. I would be too easy to fall for him...and she just couldn’t let herself do that.

_____________________________

Luke wasn’t sure what happened at the dress shop, but it must have been good because they were so awkward around each other ever since.

______________________________

Two days before they left for Han and Leia’s, he found her on the dune in the early morning. He knew what she was doing there, and didn’t want to interrupt, but they needed to talk. The awkwardness had only grown over the last week. They couldn’t show up with a credible engagement story like this.

He didn’t want to startle her, so he called her name softly when he was a few yards away. Her eyes opened but didn’t look at him.

“I know, Kylo. I know what you are going to say.”

“You do?”

“Yeah...that we cannot go to your parent’s house like this.”

He sank to sit next to her on the sand. “Ahhh...you do.”

They sat there silent for a few moments.

“What can I do to help.”

She shook her head and turned the other way, not wanting him to see her eyes well up with tears.

“I’m not really sure, to be honest. I didn’t know it would be this hard.”

“Rey...we can stop this right now, and no one has to know. Only Luke knows...well, and Maz, but we shouldn’t run into her again as long as we aren’t in the market for another wedding dress.”

That drew a little laugh from her.

“No...I want to. It’s just...I pride myself on being a genuine person. The subterfuge is harder than I thought it would be. I’m not overly affectionate...so to be so and not have it mean anything…”

“We can tone that back.”

“I...no...it’s OK…”

“Clearly, it’s not OK…”

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and spurted out, “I’ve never kissed anyone before. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but I guess it was. And then for it to be with someone who doesn’t even care about me…”

He rubbed her arm, “Hey...I care about you, Rey.”

“You know what I mean. Care about me in THAT way...it felt like it didn’t mean anything. First kisses are supposed to be special.”

It boggled his mind that the beautiful creature had never been kissed. How was that possible? A little piece of him felt protective and proud that he was the only one she kissed. Well...if they were together...which they were not...hence the problem. Understanding hit him. “Rey...do you feel like this is compromising your integrity?”

“Maybe a bit...but it is for something important, so I feel like I can feel OK with that. And, now that the ‘first’ is out of the way, maybe it will get easier from here on out.”

“Perhaps…” he murmured. He nudged her with his shoulder. “Sorry your first kiss had to be with me. It was good, though. You did good...really good.”

She wrinkled her nose in response. What she really wanted to say is that she wasn’t sorry it happened, but how she was sorry that something that felt so amazing to her obviously didn’t to him. She wished he did it because he wanted to and not because she strong-armed him into it. She wished it was real.

_________________________

When Kylo made his way back to his room, he silently berated himself. He was dragging this sweet girl into five years of hell, stealing things that were sacred to her. Was it so important, just for a plot of land?

Even worse...he scolded himself that he was letting her worm her way into his heart. He felt things he hadn’t felt for a long time, and he was not happy about it. That kiss...he had felt it in his toes. Her lips were so soft...and that it had been her first. He rubbed his forehead aggressively, like trying to rub the memory away. Neither one of them were going to get out of this thing unscathed...and he hoped it was all worth it.


	8. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han and Leia enter the picture. It's longer, but I love this chapter...

Rey didn’t know that flying with Kylo meant she was going to be flying first class. He neglected to mention this detail to her until he led her to the first class lounge to await boarding..

“Kylo...this wasn’t necessary. Coach is perfectly fine for me.”

“Rey, I always fly first class. Partially out of preference, and partially because of space. I just don’t fit back there. So, when we travel together, this is what we do.”

“It just feels too extravagant, but I understand the space thing for you. I am cramped...and you are...well...big.”

“Remember...I am using miles. I’m not really paying for this. When we fly to Australia in March…”

“Australia! Why are WE going to Australia?”

“For the Pro Gold Coast. Remember we talked about going to a few competitions? My wife has to be at some of them. I’m thinking four. Australia, France in October…”

Her eyes got starry and her voice got soft, “France? Paris?”

“It’s actually a bit a ways from Paris, but not too far. We could go there too. That’s in October. Then I was thinking either Bali in June or South Africa in July. Then, the final is on the North Shore in December next year. Does that sound OK? I talked to Luke about it...he said the timing should be OK.”

She faintly remembered him saying there were some events for her to take part in. She realized that he didn’t know she had flown once...from London to Hawaii. She had never traveled. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that he meant those events would have them traipsing all over the world.

It should have said something when he brought home a new set of Delsey hard side luggage for her. He said it would hold up with all the travel. She thought he just meant California. Australia, France, Bali and South Africa weren’t even on her radar of possibility. Clearly, they should communicate more, but there hadn’t been much of that the last few weeks

“Um...Kylo, how many competitions do you do?”

“Well, there are 11 in the pro circuit, counting the final. I used to do others, but that is what I stick to now.”

“So...that is about one per month?”

“Not quite. They start in March and run through December. Most of them fall in the late spring and summer months.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “So, you weren’t joking when you said you will be gone a lot, were you.”

He shook his head. “No--I really haven’t even had a home for a while. I gave up trying to keep a place up. I keep stuff in storage and just travel between. It will actually be nice to have a home base now with people there. The living out of a suitcase all the time thing gets old.”

“So how long do you see yourself doing this? What is the lifespan of a pro surfer?”

“It depends. Most guys want to leave on top, and that is usually in their mid-thirties. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

Her curiosity was piqued. “And then what? What happens after retirement?”

He shrugged. “I keep my focus in the moment, so I am usually not thinking that far ahead. Maybe coach? I don’t need to work...I’m a trust fund baby, so I’ll find something else to do that I love. Who knows...maybe I’ll do what you do.”

She searched his eyes for sincerity. She had actually thought he would be really good at surf therapy, but she couldn’t be sure he wasn’t pulling her leg.

“Kylo...one thing I keep meaning to ask you. What will my last name be?”

“Your last name?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure if Kylo Ren was your legal name. Rey Ren sounds kind of weird...like a tongue twister. Would it be Ren, or Solo.”

His lips twitched. “Being saddled with Rey Ren would be a tragedy. You will be happy to know that Solo is my legal last name. But, you don’t have to take my name.”

“Isn’t that what women do when they get married? Change their name?"

“Some don’t. My mom hyphenates, and some women just keep their maiden name.”

“I’m old-fashioned. I will take it. And, I think it will help me get into character, so to speak. I think I need to think of myself differently.”

She checked her watch. They had over an hour until boarding. Ben liked to be early, she was learning.

“Ben, I don’t want to upset you...but we haven’t talked about your previous engagement yet. I think there are some details of what I need to know. I know it was six years ago, and you were with her for four. Anything else I should know? Probably her name?”

He rubbed his lips absentmindedly with his fist, then sighed. His hand swiped up his face and into his hair before fidgeting with the arm of the couch they were sitting on. “Her name was Malia. She was a neighbor for a long time before we dated. I thought she was my soulmate...she turned out not to be.”

“Was it a mutual decision?”

“No. I was gone too much...she didn’t like it. She wound up falling for a local businessman. Her husband sells real estate here on Oahu.”

“I see. I am sorry...I can see that it still pains you to talk about it.”

“Actually, it’s not as bad as I thought. I don’t love her anymore, that isn’t it. She came into my life during turbulent times, and she was my lifeboat. Nothing was as important to me as her...except surfing. She always felt in competition with it, though. So, rather than asking me to choose, she made the decision for us herself. I think she’s happy...has a few kids. But, it made me realize no one would be OK with this kind of life, and that I cannot let someone become the center of my world again. When they leave, it is too painful. Also, when the breakup happened, I struggled a lot with anger. That is when things fell apart with Luke too. I started drinking...it just began a chain reaction of destruction in my life. I vowed to never let someone have that much control in my life again.”

His words resonated too closely to her own thoughts. “I understand...better than you think. The devastation of being left is something you never get over. If I am being honest with myself, that is probably why I have stayed away from relationships. If you don’t let yourself get too close, you can’t get left, right?”

The emotion was thick on his face. “I’m sorry for you, that was your parents. I have had my issues with my family, but for better or for worse, they don’t leave. I would often wish they would leave me alone. That sounds so shallow to say to you, though, knowing what you have been through.”

“We each measure pain by our own experiences. The degree of my circumstances shouldn’t belittle the pain you feel.

He held his arm up towards her and said, “C’mere.” She leaned in, and he pulled her to his side in a bear hug. He just held her there, not letting go.

“I’m still sorry for you.” He kissed the top of her head, and she melted into his side. It felt good to be held after such an emotional conversation. So she let herself, breathing deeply and pulling in the smell of Kylo. He smelled fresh, like the ocean and a little bit of coconut.

Suddenly, her head jerked and she realized she must have dozed off. He was still holding her, but shaking her a bit, speaking softly to her. “Rey, honey--we are getting ready to board.”

She bowed her head guiltily and explained, “I’m sorry...didn’t sleep well last night. I think it was nerves.”

“I didn’t mind.”

“Thanks Solo.”

“Any time, Keoa.”

“Ben, why do you call me that?”

“Do you know what it means?”

She nodded, confused.

“The first time we met. Do you remember that?”

She nodded again, trying to read his face for meaning.

“When you smiled at me, it was almost blinding. Your face lights up like the sun. So, that, and with your name...it just fit. Light of day.”

“I didn’t know you remembered that.”

He stood and grabbed their carry-ons, holding out his hand to her. “Of course I do. I couldn’t forget the first time I met my fiance.”

She took his hand, and a little bit of the ice broke around her heart. She didn’t mean for it to, but she couldn’t help it.

_________________________

When they got to LA, after picking up their bags, their first stop was the car rental kiosk. He pointed to the menu of options. “What kind should we get? You pick.”

Her eyes lit up and she pointed to a red convertible. “That one...definitely that one. I’ve always wanted a car like that.”

He looked at the agent and handed him his black AmEx. “You heard the lady...we’ll take a red convertible.”

“Yes, Mr. Solo. Just hop on the shuttle, and they will have it waiting for you.”

___________________________

After getting on the 405 freeway...actually, more like a parking lot, she said. “Exactly how far is it to your mum and dad’s?”

He laughed. “In LA traffic, who knows. If there was no traffic, Carpinteria is about two hours north. At this pace, it will probably be five.”

“How about a game?”

“A game? A car game? Like what you play as kids?”

“Kind of. How about 2 truths and a lie.”

“I’m not familiar with that one.”

“So, just like it sounds, you tell me 2 things that are true and one that is a lie. Then, I have to guess which one is the lie. You up for it?”

“Sure...why not.”

“OK. I’ll go first till you get the hang of it. I used to be a mechanic, I can sew really well, and I wanted to be an astronaut as a kid.”

“Um...astronaut?”

“See! You are great at it.”

“You can sew? And fix cars?”

“Yeah...another side effect of my growing up years. Clothing choices for foster kids are pretty slim. I learned how to mend things first, but then realized I could change things up and make them cuter. I was the queen of thrift store makeovers. My last foster father owned a salvage yard and a ratty auto maintenance shop. He would salvage auto parts and then pass them off as new in the car repairs. Anyways, he made me work there doing oil changes and maintenance appointments throughout high school.”

“Wow...Ok. Let’s see. I am an expert dancer, my first kiss was at 12, and I wanted to be a pilot.”

“It’s got to be a dancer.”

“Nope. My first kiss was at 16. I was a late bloomer. The dancing was at my mom’s insistence, and I credit the balance, flexibility, and coordination it developed as a secret weapon for surfing. The pilot thing wasn’t meant to be.”

She had a sudden vision of Kylo in a tux, leading her expertly around a dance floor, and her heart started fluttering. “Um...so, I read Pride and Prejudice every year on New Year’s Day, secretly want a mongoose for a pet, and I wanted to be a cheerleader in high school.”

The traffic started to pick up. “Mongoose?”

“Nope--I loved Riki Tiki Tavi as a kid, and hate snakes. It’s one of the reasons why I love Hawaii--no snakes. It’s cheerleader. I never had any interest in all of that. At my school, it was a lot of pressure and artifice.”

“Well, interesting. This is getting harder. OK...I didn’t graduate from high school, I ran away from home at 16, and Woody Woodpecker was my favorite cartoon growing up.”

“Woody?”

“No. Contrary to what you might be thinking, I wasn’t such a slacker that I didn’t graduate. I did run away from home...here in California, to Hawaii and Meme and Papa, when I was 16. And...c’mon, that laugh is classic.”

She sighed, feeling like she was learning more about him this way, but they needed something new. “OK--that was getting hard to do. How about the question game. We each take turns asking the other a question?”

He grinned. “We can ask anything?”

She smiled back, but replied sassily, “You can ask, but I can pass.”

“OK. I want to go first. If you could meet anyone famous, who would it be.”

“Do they have to be alive?” she asked.

“Mmmm...yes. Like, you are on your deathbed and they can come to visit you--who would you pick.”

“I am going to say Prince Harry. He is a favorite in England. He is known for having a fantastic sense of humor, and I appreciate that he’s been so candid about his mental health struggles after losing his mom.”

His tone back was teasing, “Did you fancy him?”

“No...all of us girls fancied William. There were posters of him everywhere like a teen movie star. But Harry, he is who you would want with you if you were dying. His big heart and ability to make you laugh is perfect for a deathbed chum. OK...my turn. As a kid, did you have a celebrity crush?”

She thought she saw his cheeks reddened just a tad. “Yeah...I loved Jennifer Garner. She was so cute, but in ‘Alias’ she could kick your butt. That was hot.”

“Oh, I see. This is my competition, huh? I hear she’s single again. Now is your chance.”

He laughed. She didn’t think she’d ever heard him really laugh, but he did. She also noticed while looking at his laughing mouth that he shaved. She wondered why.

“Serious question this time. Do your parents know I’m coming?”

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you, I called them and told them I was bringing someone home. I didn’t say much...be prepared to be pelted with questions. My turn. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?”

She didn’t even hesitate. “Paris. Even though it was so close to England, I never go there. I have always loved the Eiffel Tower. And, I was told that my great-grandfather was in Normandy on D-Day. I would like to go there too. That has always been my dream. And you?”

“I can’t really think of anywhere I haven’t been but would like to go. I’m going to say - Russia. I have never been to Russia. It’s not even close to any competitions.”

“We are quite a pair, aren’t we? You having been everywhere, and me having been nowhere. Rey from nowhere...”

“We are going to get some stamps in your passport this year, Rey. I promise.”

She smiled out the window as the scenery whizzed by. She decided living life with Kylo for the next several years would be fun. He was becoming a friend, and she sensed that adventures awaited them.

__________________________

It was dark when the pulled up to a large Mediterranean home on the beach. Warm lights were glowing from inside, and shortly after Kylo shut his door and came to her side, the front door opened and that warm, inviting light spilled out towards them.

“Ben! I can’t believe you are here!” A small woman threw herself into his arms just as he was starting to open Rey’s door. “Oh, I’m sorry dear. I am Leia--Ben’s mom.”

Ben helped her out, grabbing her left hand and covering it with his. She realized he was hiding the ring, not wanting to let that news out yet.

Leia waved then towards the front door, where a man was standing in the shadows. “You must be tired from traveling all day. Come in and rest for a bit, then Han can help Ben get your luggage.”

Ben kept her hand until they were inside. He seated her at a stool in the breakfast nook, where he took her covered hand again and rested it on his leg.

“So...Rey, right? How did you and Benny meet?”

“Mom…”

“I’m sorry...Benjamin.”

“...really…”

“Benjamin, I gave you that name and I am using it.”

“You gave me Kylo too.”

“Yes, but it got second billing for a reason.”

He rolled his eyes before answering, “Rey works with Uncle Luke doing Surf Therapy. We met there six months ago and have been inseparable ever since, right Ku‘uipo?”

“Yes! He really swept me off my feet.”

“Really? Ben?” Han asked skeptically. He looked at his son and shrugged. “What...forgive my surprise. You’re not really known for your game, kid.”

Kylo snorted. “Well, as a matter of fact, Rey and I have news.”

Leia covered her mouth. “Oh, my gawd...you are pregnant?”

“Mom...what? No...we aren’t pregnant. Why do you always have to be so extreme? We’re engaged. Thanks for making the proper order of things as opposed to announcing a baby out of wedlock seem like a let-down, though.”

“Oh. OH...well that’s exciting too! When is the big day?”

He took a deep breath. “New Year’s Eve.”

Leia gave him the look. That mom you-are-in-trouble-young-man look. “New Year’s Eve...like in 11 days?” she said flatly.

He wrapped his right arm around Rey’s shoulders while picking up her left one with his left, showing finally her hand. “Yep...eleven days.”

“And she’s not pregnant.”

“Sheesh...Mom...NO! She’s definitely not. We want time before I go on the circuit, and don’t want to wait until my next big break next year. She will come with me for some of it, but because of her work can’t come to all of them. This way we have two and a half months until my first competition in March. And, we all know what is looming at the end of January. So...why wait?”

“How are you planning a wedding so fast?”

“It’s just going to be simple...on the beach at the estate. Uncle Luke is helping, and it’s just family. You guys will be there, we have her dress, Luke’s got the food, we have a preacher...what else do we need?”

Leia looked like she wanted to say more, but refrained. Instead, she changed topics.

“Well, let’s get you two settled in your room. I put you in the guest room.”

Crap...Kylo hadn’t thought this all out.

“Um...mom...Rey is...religious. We are waiting.”

“Waiting.”

“Yup. And, I am respecting that. So, I will just take my old room and she can have the guest room.”

“Guess that means they’re telling the truth and he didn’t knock her up” Han quipped as he sauntered past them.

Rey felt like she was in a comedy movie she couldn’t get out of. The hits kept coming.

Kylo smacked his face with his large palm. “Wow...welcome to my family, Rey.”

“Rey, let’s get you to your room. We can chat more in the morning” Leia cooed.

She led her up the stairs while the men went back out to the car to get the luggage. As they walked on the landing, she noticed that old pictures dotted the walls. All the stages of Ben’s life, from a pudgy baby with lots of inky hair to teen pictures to articles from competitions.

“He’ll kill me if he knows I am already showing you his awkward junior high photos.”

“Well, to be fair, I really discovered them rather than you showing me, right?”

Leia grinned at her. “I like you, Rey. I think you are good for Benny.”

“Thank you Leia, but you don’t really know me yet...how can you tell?”

“Oh, I just have a sense about these things. And besides, Luke adores you. That gets you a lot of points in my book.”

“He has been very good to me. I love your brother too.”

She smaller woman caught her in a strong hug. “Welcome, Rey. I am so glad you are here.”

She showed her to her room and then left Rey to explore. She had her own loo attached, and a large, comfy bed. She had just sat down to test it out when Ben showed up with her luggage. He quietly shut her door, then leaned against it, covering his face.

“I am so sorry. I hadn’t even thought through the sleeping situation and assumptions they would make.”

“It’s OK, Solo. You covered well. And, it’s not that far off from the truth.”

“Really, I was worried I embarrassed you.”

“I’m not embarrassed for thinking that intimacy is something special for a committed relationship.”

“No...you shouldn’t. And, I agree.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Malia is the only one I was ever with like that.”

“Oh. Well...that’s…” she trailed off, not sure what to say.

“We probably need to talk about what to do after the wedding, though. That excuse won’t work anymore then.”

“True.”

“And, my parents are planning to stay through my birthday--the whole month. What are we going to do?”

Suddenly, the gravity of what they were doing hit her. This man...this man that she was getting the tingles for, was going to be around...a lot...in her space. But, that is what was needed to be convincing...right?

“You could, ah, stay at the cottage with me.”

“I don’t want to intrude on your space.”

“I don’t see an option. What we do...or don’t do, rather, will be more apparent in the big house with other people around. The cottage at least gives us privacy.”

“That is true.”

“I have a hide-a-bed couch I got for when friends visit. You can sleep there...or I can if you don’t fit.”

“It should work fine, Rey. Thank you for being accommodating.”

“Sure. You can use the office to store your stuff in. It will be fun, right? Like having a friend staying over.” A big, hunky friend...that she will be married to...and likes too much how his touch feels.

Yikes. This was a disaster.

____________________________

The next morning, Rey wasn’t sure what protocol was for a family. Did people get ready before breakfast? Did they go down in their jammies? What was appropriate? Since she was fairly decent in the leggings and oversized sweatshirt she wore to bed, she just brushed her teeth and stepped outside to test the waters.

After she padded down the stairs, she found Kylo at the breakfast bar in a t-shirt and sleep pants. She breathed a sigh of relief and sat next to him. He turned to her with a big smile and gave her a quick peck on the mouth.

“Good morning, babe. How did you sleep?” His eyes darted to the side, indicating Leia’s presence and the reason for her exuberant greeting.

She decided to play along. She wrapped her arms around his neck and slid over on his lap. She cooed, “Good, Koa. How about you?”

He recovered quickly, wrapping his arms around her, holding her in a hug. “I woke up later than normal...time change and all. I was thinking we could do some shopping today.”

Leia snickered at them from the corner. “Yes, Rey. Ben has big expectations to fulfill for presents. I always tell him I wanted 6 kids, but just had the one, so he has to make it up to me at the holidays.”

Rey froze. She hadn’t even thought about presents for everyone...including him. He saw the panic in her eyes and did a brief shake, discouraging her from worrying. “Why don’t you get something to eat and we’ll head out. There are cute shops in town, or we can head to Santa Barbara.”

“Oooh...isn’t that where are the celebrities live? Like Oprah?”

“Some. So, Santa Barbara, it is?”

She nodded as she grabbed a banana from the bowl and yogurt from the fridge.

“I’ll go get ready while I eat to save time...meet down here in thirty minutes?”

He watched her run out, tickled over her excitement.

“I haven’t seen that twinkle in your eye for a long time, Benjamin. Maybe ever.”

He turned to her in surprise. “Really?”

“Really. I like her. A lot. I’m happy for you, son.”

She was hugging him, and Kylo was trying not to feel guilty. He was happy. He’s not sure when that cropped up, but it was true. Rey was becoming a good friend, and her positivity was rubbing off on him. Since they were trying to build on things that were true in this situation, he decided to focus on the fact that he was a more enjoyable person to be around with Rey. He couldn’t help but think she might be getting the short end of the deal here, but he was grateful to her.

“Now, go get ready to spend the day with your girl. What are you getting her for Christmas?”

“Well, I proposed just a bit before we left and gave her the ring...that doesn’t count?”

She smacked his arm. “Benjamin! I am ashamed of you! Haven’t I taught you anything?”

He winced. How did such a tiny thing hit that hard? He rubbed his bicep. “OK, Ok...sheesh...I will get her something.”

“Look for what makes her eyes light up today. Then make a note of what and where, and we can figure out who can go back to get it.”

He leaned down to kiss her head. “Thanks, mom...we’ll be back for dinner.”

On his way out of the room, he remembered something. He wanted to drop it on her and run so they didn’t have to talk about it too much.

“Oh..also, I just wanted to mention, Rey doesn’t drink. I’ll let her explain why to you, but can you just make sure we have tea or something else to have with dinner besides wine for us? Thanks!”

He trotted upstairs, and she just stared after him in disbelief. How had this young woman transformed her wild son into a wait for the wedding teetotaler? She chuckled...it was too fun to watch.


	9. Generosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should say...there will be no Snoke, Hux, or Phasma in this story. I thought they had enough emotional villains they are dealing with, and I tire of those three. Enjoy!

It was just a little cooler here than in Hawaii, but still warm. Warm enough to ride with the top down for the short ride into Santa Barbara. Rey was dressed in a long flowy skirt and tank top, but threw a sweater over the top...she said it was “cold.”

“Really? Cold? What is the temperature in London right now?”

“Well, Benjamin, I haven’t lived there for eight years, so I have adapted to tropical weather. I’m cold.”

He winced at her using his first name but didn’t bite. “It’s seventy degrees.”

She just crossed her arms and ignored him with a huff. He didn’t know why, but it was fun to bicker with her. It was like a duel he wanted to see if he could win.

He found a parking spot near a shopping area full of boutiques, and he stopped. “Rey...before we get out, we are going to lay some ground rules here, OK?”

She bristled. “Ground rules?”

“Yes. First, you don’t need to buy any presents. Anything I get today will be from both of us. That is how they see us, as a unit, so that is how we will gift them.”

“OK. And what are these other rules you speak of?”

“Well, we are both still awkward with the affection thing. That was clear this morning, and if Mom was watching closely, she would have caught on. Can we pretend like we are an engaged couple in love, ten days from their wedding today? We need the practice.”

“Yes...I suppose. You are right. I am still jumpy when you hold or kiss me.”

“OK...and last rule? We are here to have fun!” He leaned over and kissed her, just to reinforce rule 2 and 3 before jumping out of the car to get her door. He immediately grabbed her hand and she flinched.

“You still are jumpy with that.”

“I know, I am trying.”

“Do I have to kiss you all day to work on that.”

She looked up at him, feeling cheeky in the tone of the day. “Maybe.”

This time she yanked on his hand and pulled him down, planting one on him. He stopped their motion and froze at first, and then pulled her closer with his other arm.

“This time, you were the jumpy one.” She breathed against his cheek.

“You surprised me” he defended.

“I guess we just need more practice.” She stood on her tiptoes and did it again. This time when they parted, they were both breathing a bit heavier.

“Um...Rey, I think that is enough practice for now. “ He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. “I noticed a coffee/tea place back there, and I know you didn’t get any tea this morning. Would you like some before we get any farther?”

She still felt breathless, so she just nodded.

Once inside, asked her for her order, then ordered for them.

“I could have told them...you didn’t have to remember my order.”

“I need to learn how you take your tea. Cream and two sugars, English Breakfast tea, right?”

“Right. I do miss PG Tips team from home, but it’s hard to find here.”

He made a note of that before remembering something.

“Hey...why did you call me Koa earlier?”

She smiled and shook her head. “I was trying to think on the spot of a pet name for you. It just popped in my mind. You are huge like a tree, and Koa trees are dark, so it fits with your whole tall, dark broody thing you have going on.”

“Hmmm...I like it. It’s also the strongest kind of wood...did you know that?”

She snorted, “No. I didn’t. Who knew my spur of the moment nickname would be such an ego boost for you.”

“Whatever...and I’m not broody.”

“Sure, Solo. Whatever you say.”

The first shop they went in was a high-end women’s clothing boutique. He explained that he usually got his mom three gifts, not six. He tried to get a clothing item, jewelry and something for the house.

“So...like clothes clothes? An outfit? Or more like a sweater or something.”

He shrugged. “Let’s see what we see.”

They wandered around, and he finally released her hand since they both still had drinks and that made it hard to look around and touch things.

“What about this? She held up a shawl/wrap that was made of a soft, mocha colored cashmere.

“Actually, that is perfect.”

She rewarded him with a huge smile, then quickly turned when something caught her eye. It was an emerald green silk sundress. It was modest, but a bit slinky too with a high neck, a tie waist and long flowy skirt with a slit on one side It would be perfect on her. She didn’t say anything, just turned back to him and motioned to the check stand. As he paid, he casually picked up one of the shop cards so he knew where to come back. But then, a stroke of genius came.

“Hey, sweetie, would you mind taking my cup to the trash outside? I’ll just wrap up here and meet you out there?”

She nodded and did his bidding. As soon as she was out of earshot, he asked the sales lady to put aside the dress in the size she estimated Rey was so he could come back later.

“Sir...I can quickly add it to your total and hide it in the bottom under the wrap...she will never see it. Then you don’t have to come back.”

He nodded and she did so. He was pretty excited to have found something for both of them in the first shop.

Next, he pulled Rey into a jewelry shop.

“So, what are we looking for here?”

“Mmmm...I like to look around. Maybe a Pandora bracelet, or a pendant?”

“What is her birthstone?”

“Diamonds...she loves them.”

“Wow...how nice for her to have diamonds.”

“What is yours? You know...I don’t know when your birthday is.”

She giggled. “That is a pretty important piece of information we don’t know yet, isn’t it. My birthday is March 26th, so aquamarine is mine. You are January, so that’s a garnet, right?”

They looked over pendants and charm bracelets. He found a white gold bracelet in a bold floral pattern he thought she would like. He noticed Rey was looking in another case.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Whatcha looking at over here.”

He noticed she didn’t jump. In fact, her hand automatically came up and was caressing his arms. They were making progress.

“Hmm...oh, nothing really. I don’t look at jewelry very often.”

“It looked like something caught your eye. Show me, then I’ll show you what I picked out for mom.”

“Oh, I was just looking at those birthstone necklaces. They are pretty, but I wouldn’t even have anywhere to wear something like that. I was just daydreaming.

He tried to sound casual. “Like that one with the square stones?”

“No...that one that looks like a vine of flowers is the one that caught my eye. It reminded me of a lei. It’s just delicate and pretty. Nevermind. What did you find for your mom?”

He showed her the bracelet he picked out. She had no idea of the cost, but she was starting to see that money really wasn’t an issue for him. She knows the wrap he already bought was $800. She felt overwhelmed, and she needed to pee. She sweetly asked where the restroom was, and the salesman directed her to the back of the store. Kylo quickly directed him to ring up the aquamarine necklace as well. He also asked about storing the items until they were done shopping so they didn’t have to carry them around and do Rey would be less likely to see two boxes in the bag. He made all the arrangements and was looking cool as a cucumber waiting for her in the front of the store.

“Did you decide against it?”

“No--just didn’t want to carry it around all day since it is a more expensive item. They will hold it for us till we are ready to leave. Are you ready for lunch?”

She nodded eagerly - the banana and yogurt had long worn off and she was hungry. They found a place near the water with chowder and seafood before continuing their shopping. For Han, they got a new leather jacket, a book about WWII (his obsession), and some cigars. He found a frame for Leia that she could use for a picture from the wedding for her mantle, and some stocking stuffer items. All in all, he felt like it was a productive day. He had some things to check Amazon for later tonight, but they still had two days of shipping left there, so he had time.

After getting some gelato, they found a bench overlooking a courtyard with fountains to sit and eat it.

“We make a good shopping team, Keoa.”

“We do, Koa.”

“I think we made pretty good progress today on rule number 2 also.”

She just nodded as she licked her cone.

“What kind did you get again?”

She mumbled, “salted caramel.”

His eyes got molten watching her. “Can I taste?”

She nodded and started to offer her cone, but he gently pushed it aside and kissed her instead. It was different than before. He didn’t quite open his mouth...but almost. It felt more intimate as he slotted his mouth against hers. When he pulled back, her eyes were huge. “Oh.”

“You know, salted caramel and dark chocolate taste good together.”

She licked her cone again. “They do.”

“You are pretty easy to get used to kissing...you know that, Rey.”

He could see her heart in her eyes, and the fear that nipped at it, so he left it alone for now.

“Shall we go get the bracelet and head back?”

Her eyes were still searching his...trying to find an equilibrium. “Sure...I’m almost done with this. I can just wait outside while you get it.”

He grabbed the other bags with one hand and her hand with the other. She would be easy to love...if he was open to loving again. He was starting to have to remember the reasons why he wasn’t.

_________________________________

At dinner, Rey prepared herself for more questions from Leia. She didn’t think Han would ask her anything, but she tried to think of a few items to connect with him on. She dressed in a jersey blouson dress and some booties. She felt a little less Island casual than normal.

Ben pulled out her chair to get her settled and kissed her cheek. She wasn’t jumpy about that at all now. She smiled a the headway they were making.

“So...how did shopping go today?” Leia asked.

Rey answered with a huge smile. “It was lovely! Santa Barbara is gorgeous, and I think Ben supported a small country with what he spent.”

Leia reached out to pat his hand with pride. “I trained him well.”

Ben noticed there wasn’t any wine on the table...just iced tea. He met his mom’s eyes and winked at her in appreciation.

Leia started the questions. “So, dear, we don’t know much about you. Obviously, you aren’t from Hawaii. Where did you grow up?”

She swallowed and prepared to answer. Her story was her story, and she was used to it, but it wasn’t always easy to tell. She found herself a bit more emotional these days too. She hoped she could get through it.

“I...ah...I lived in London until I left at eighteen to attend U of H.”

Leia clasped her hands in excitement. “Oh, I love London! Do your parents still live there? Will they be able to come to the wedding too? We’d love to meet them, right Han?”

He grunted in agreement as he worked on his enchiladas.

She started to answer but felt Kylo’s hand grab hers under the table and give her an encouraging squeeze.

“Rey’s parents won’t be there mom.”

“Oh?”

Rey took a deep breath and started, “My parents abandoned me when I was 5. I actually grew up in the foster system in London before aging out at eighteen. I later found out they both passed away.”

Leia’s eyes filled with emotion. “Oh. I am sorry Rey...my mouth just runs away with me sometimes and I don’t stop to sense what is in front of me.”

Han snorted in agreement with his wife but then turned sympathetic eyes to Rey. “Sorry kid...that is a rough hand you got dealt.”

“Thank you, and Leia, you couldn’t have known. Please don’t feel bad. It was hard, but it is also what made me who I am today. You see, they were addicts. That was what killed them, but it led me to the work I do and gave me a special passion to help my patients.”

“That’s why you don’t drink,” Leia said quietly.

She nodded. “But, that is why I’m excited to be here. Not only do I get to meet my future in-laws, but I also get to be part of a family at Christmas for the first time. I have no expectations or traditions for you all to live up to...I am a clean slate.”

The table was uncharacteristically quiet. Finally, Leia spouted, “Cookies. Tomorrow we will make cookies.”

Han looked at her affectionately and rubbed her cheek. “That’s a great idea, Sweetheart.”

“That would be fantastic! I would love to make cookies. Do you have any special recipes you use?”

“I do have a few passed down from Meme and her mom. I need to go grocery shopping in the morning anyhow. Maybe we’ll do fudge too.”

At that, Kylo groaned, “No Mom. You know I can’t stop eating that stuff. You’ll make me fat.”

Leis snorted, “Really, son? Fat? Where...between your ears?”

And with that, the conversation turned light again. Rey enjoyed herself. They decided she needed movie traditions too, so tonight it was going to be popcorn and “White Christmas.”

“So...for movie nights, we all go get in our jammies, and Mom makes popcorn while Han builds a fire.” He led her upstairs so they could get changed.

“Hey...Solo...I am really enjoying your family. Thank you for bringing me.”

“Thank you for coming.”

She reached up to kiss his cheek, but he turned and she landed on his mouth instead. Her hands wound up in his hair. It was just as soft and silky as it looked. Her nails softly graze the back of his neck and he groaned softly.

“Get a room” Leia deadpanned as she walked past them to get changed.

“Not yet!” he called after her.

Rey just smiled up at him as she turned to go to her room to change.

He was in trouble.

___________________________

Movie nights involved popcorn, fire, and snuggling. Han and Leia took one couch, and Ben motioned for her to take her place next to him on the other. He wrapped one arm behind her and offered the bowl for them to share with the other, wedging it between them.

She hadn’t seen this one, but the opening war scenes reminded her of her great-grandpa. “I wonder how close this was?”

“Most of these actors were actually in the war, so probably pretty close, except that fake looking set.” Han offered.

“My great grandpa was in WWII….he was part of D-day.”

She had Han’s attention now. “Really...that is amazing. Do you know what division? I have things I could show you about it.”

She shook her head. “No...a social worker just told me his name and that he was in the war. I don’t know anything else.

Ben spoke up. “We are actually going to France in October for competition...I was thinking about taking her to Normandy.”

“Really?” She asked earnestly, her eyes swimming now with instant tears.

He wiped under her eyes with his thumbs, capture the few drops that escaped. “Yeah...really. I thought we could land in Paris early, then make our way down to…”

She stopped his words with a kiss, then nestled down on his chest while she sniffed to stop the flow. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her there.

He was in SO.MUCH.TROUBLE.


	10. Festivities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause I love y'all...and couldn't leave you hanging without wrapping up Christmas!

The cookie baking was one of Rey’s favorite memories. Getting to have Leia share family recipes...hearing her stories about Ben as they worked while he tried to come in periodically to stop her...threatening to take back her presents..him stealing pieces of dough and in general making himself a nuisance...she truly felt like part of the family. She felt like she wasn’t pretending.

She wasn’t.

They had movie night again, watching “Christmas Vacation” this time. And this time, she fell asleep on Ben’s chest. He discovered through that situation that Rey slept...hard. She didn’t even stir as he picked her up and carried her up the stairs. Not even when he set her down and tucked her in, whispering, “Good night, E Ku'u Aloha.” 

_______________________________

The next day was Christmas Eve. Rey found out that Ben’s family opened one present at night on Christmas Eve. The rest of the day was spent relaxing. Rey and Ben wrapped their presents in her room earlier in the day. When they went to place them under the tree, she noticed there were a lot more presents there. She wondered if anyone else would be coming over.

Leia made her Christmas Eve Chili and cornbread for dinner, followed by yet another holiday movie. This time it was Elf.

Han guffawed. He bellowed with laughter. Rey couldn’t decide if the movie was funnier or him. When his laughter finally subsided, he said, “I don’t know why I think that damn elf is so funny, but he gets me every time.”

After the movie, Leia went and got the present for the two of them to open that night. She had them both open them at the same time. A pair of red plaid flannel pajamas spilled out on her lap, and when she looked over at what he got, she saw they matched.

“I know it’s not practical, flannel PJ’s for Hawaii, but you will be traveling this year, and they were so cute…”

Tear pricked at Rey’s eyes. The gift was such a FAMILY thing to give. She didn’t know if she should mourn that she really wasn’t truly a part of it, or just enjoy it while it lasted. That feeling had been lurking under the surface for days. For now, for tonight, she choose to enjoy it--that thing she’d never had.

“They are lovely, Leia...thank you so much.”

“Yeah - thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome. Run along and put them on so you can leave Santa’s cookies on the hearth.”

“Mom...I’m almost thirty years old. I’m not doing that.”

“Benjamin Kylo Solo...if you don’t believe, he doesn’t bring you anything.”

He shook his head and started to exit again. Rey was waiting for him in the doorway, her eyes full of laughter.

Han called out in a weird sing-song voice, “Oh...Ben...”

“Yes Dad...I’ll do the cookies," he said with a tone full of resignation.

“Listen, scruffy...that isn’t what I was going to say. I was going to tell you that your girl is standing under the mistletoe. What are ya going to do about it.”

His thumb gestured towards Rey’s head. They both looked up, and indeed she was. He lunged for her, picking her up in his arms, jammies and all, and kissed her soundly on the mouth. She giggled in surprise at his actions, right in front of his parents. He didn’t set her back down, but carried her up the stairs and set her down on the landing. They were both laughing now, out of breath.

“I don’t remember that being there before.”

“Me either.”

“I blame Han. He was acting weird about it. You should know that she wants us to put these pajamas on and then go take a picture in front of the tree together.”

The laughter died on her lips. “Sure...I’ll be right back.”

He watched her walk to her room and wondered at her quiet mood tonight. He wanted to ask her about it, but he was pretty sure he knew what was wrong. He could only imagine how hard this all was for her. He wondered not for the first time if this was the right thing to do.

________________________________

She felt something warm at her backside and a gentle shaking pulling her out of her dream state. She felt her arms and legs stretch out before she could pry her eyes open.

“Rey...are you ever waking up Rey?”

She felt his breath across her cheek, and she groaned. “What time is it?”

“It’s eight-thirty...I’ve been up for two hours.”

Her eyes finally opened. He was smirking at her. “Merry Christmas. We’re waiting on you to do stockings.”

Her eyes rounded. “Oh...I’m sorry...I didn’t..”

“It’s OK. I wanted to let you sleep, but now I’m getting impatient.”

She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She had a dream about him that had her wake up happy, then sad when she realized it was just a dream. It had taken a while to fall back asleep, crying as she did.

“Let me go brush my teeth, then I’ll be right down.”

He nodded and bounced out the room like a little kid.

______________________________________

When she finally came downstairs, they were sitting on the couches like the night before. She noticed an overstuffed stocking with her name on it sitting next to Ben’s on the couch. She sat, and watched the others start to unstuff their stockings and open the little gifts inside.

She looked down confused. She had never had a stocking like this. She opened it and started pulling out the little packages. Some hand cream that smelled like coconuts, a pair of earrings, salted caramels. A few of larger boxes at the bottom turned out to be PG Tips tea boxes. There was more, like a cute nail file shaped like a flip-flop and...was that undies?

“Oh...sorry, Rey. I hope that wasn’t too personal, but I always...I mean, Santa always gets everyone underwear in their stockings” Leia called over to her. She looked down at Ben’s pile and noticed he had a package of fitted black boxer briefs. Great...that was knowledge she could have done without.

“No...it’s fine, Leia...you can always use new knickers” she responded.

She noticed that Ben’s cheeks reddened when she opened another pair.

Just a few more items were in the bottom. A lovely hair clip and lastly, a portable cell phone charger.

“Wow...I don’t know what to say. Thank you….Santa?”

Leia chucked, “See...I told you he brings you things when you believe.”

She nodded, looking at Ben. “How did you find my tea?”

He was scrunched down in the couch, so he leaned his head back against the cushions to look up at her. “Amazon. Shipping is way faster on the mainland.” He grabbed one of the boxes and disappeared in the kitchen.

When Leia called them for breakfast, there was a cup of tea sitting next to her place, perfectly fixed with milk and two sugars.

___________________________________

Present time, Rey discovers, is completely different. Instead of the free-for-all that the stockings were, presents are done one at a time.

As the matriarch, Leia goes first. She opens the wrap from them, and coos at how soft it is and how much she loves it. Han goes next, opening his leather jacket.

“I thought you were due for a new one, Dad. Grey this time.”

“Great...it matches my hair” he quipped, but turned serious eyes to him before saying, “thank you, Son.”

Ben opened a nice leather toiletry bag with his initials embossed on it from his parents--black, of course.

Rey just sat, frozen in the middle of a pile of gifts. She was pretty sure she never received this many gifts in her whole life put together. She was overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. Ben sensed her state, so hegrabbedd a box and pushed it on her lap. “Here...Keoa...open this one first.”

She blinked and then looked down before following his instructions. After removing the paper and opening the box, she gasped when she saw the green dress she admired. Turning to him, her mouth a small o, opened in surprise, she questioned him. “How did you know?”

“I am observant.”

The fabric was just as soft as she thought it would be. “Thank you…” she breathed softly.

She gave Ben a silver Koru symbol on a leather string. “Are you familiar with it?” She asked. When he shook his head no, she said, “It is the Hawaiian symbol for new beginnings--a new start. It seemed appropriate.”

He leaned over and kissed her softly, before asking her to help him put it on. She also got him a book about Hawaiian history that had information about his queen ancestor in it.

Eventually, she was the only one with gifts left to open. First, she opened a luxurious green designer leather travel case with her monogram...her monogram as a Solo. The next one had a beautiful leatherbound edition of “Pride and Prejudice.”

“New Year’s is coming up, right? I thought you needed a new copy.”

"It's lovely...thank you, Ben." She couldn't believe how good he was at remembering little things she said once.

The last one was a small box. After pulling the wrapping off, she recognized the box from the jeweler they had gotten Leia’s bracelet from. She took a breath before opening it, then pulled open the lid to reveal the necklace she had been admiring. It sparkled in the morning light, it’s aquamarines and diamonds shining brightly.

Her eyes welled up with tears, and she looked at him and just shook her head. “I can’t accept this” she whispered.

Han and Leia stepped out, saying they had one more present to grab.

Ben started, “Rey…”

“Ben - it’s too much. I can’t take it.”

He took the box from her, removed the necklace, and held it. “Keoa...do you remember what we talked about? That I need to act like I would act normally?”

“But it’s too expensive” she argued.

“Not to me” he countered.

Her eyes were on his face, and she started to say something. He leaned forward and whispered right in her ear, “If you were mine, I would be buying you things like this. Please...please let me.”

Her eyes searched his face, realizing his sincerity.

When he leaned back, he continued, “besides, I thought it could be your something new and something blue for the wedding.”

She swallowed hard. The more time she spent with this man, the more she realized that her heart was in jeopardy. How would she ever recover when these five years are up, and he’s out of her life? She wished this was all real. Him, his care for her, the kisses, his family...all of it. It was a cruel glimpse into the life she will never have, and it’s almost more than she could take. But what if she never has it again? What if this, though short-lived, was the happiness of her lifetime? What if she soaked it all up while she could?

Her eyes glanced down to the necklace he was holding, and she sighed, “If I were yours, I would accept it.” She turned and held her hair up, allowing him to put it on. His fingers grazed the back of her neck as he fastened it.

She gently ghosted her fingers across it as she turned back around. “Thank you Ben...it is stunning.”

His eyes never left hers and he tucked a piece of wayward hair behind her ear. “It is.”

It turned out that the other gift from Han and Leia is a honeymoon. They gifted them an overwater bungalow in Tahiti for a week, right after the wedding.

Fantastic.


	11. Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the bride! :)

They left the Solo home early the day before they fly back. Ben insisted on showing her around LA a bit since she had never been. So, they visited Hollywood and she oohed and ahhed over the celebrity hand and foot imprints in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater. They took a picture with the Hollywood sign in the background. He got her a hotdog for lunch from Pinks. And, they spent the evening in Santa Monica at the pier and 3rd Street Promenade. She got really excited when she thought she saw an actor that was in a movie from when she was a teenager. That night, he got them two rooms at the Fairmont Miramar hotel in Santa Monica. They had breakfast on the breathtaking pool deck overlooking the Pacific before driving back to the airport.

On the way home Rey was quiet. She feigned being asleep to avoid conversation. She didn’t know how to pretend anymore. Her feelings were all tangled up, and she didn't know what was real and what is not. And now, now they have a week honeymoon to get through. It was one thing to have him in her home...but a romantic vacation together that is not going to be romantic...ugh?

When they got back, they parted company. She needed the solitude. She sought out her special spot, but now it just reminded her of him. She tried to pray, but everything felt like such a mess now. She had been so sure this was the right choice, but now it all felt weird. After sitting and stewing for a while, her mind mulled over why she agreed in the first place: to help the family that has been so good to her, and to continue to have a place to help the population she feels called to. It was enough to quell her aching heart for a bit. She knew she’s allowed herself to feel too much for him. She just needed to get through the next few days...then few years. She could do this.

________________________________

Han and Leia flew in on the 29th. The day before the wedding, she kept Rey busy running around. They got manicures and pedicures, they picked up the flowers for the next day, and Leia took her shopping. When she tried to protest, Leia silenced her with, “Please...please let me. I didn’t get to keep my girl, and it makes me so happy to be able to do this for you.”

Rey’s heart ached as she remembered the baby girl she knows they lost. How could she deny her? So she let her buy sundresses, sandals, shorts, bathing suits, and lingerie for her “honeymoon.”

And when they got back to the house, she asked her to come to the big house for something she wanted to show her.

She met Leia in the living room, and she was holding a box. Leia opened it, revealing a diamond bracelet in a delicate floral pattern.

“This is something my mother left to me. It was hers, and she let me wear it for my wedding. I thought maybe you would like to wear it tomorrow as your something old and borrowed?”

She reached out and gently fingered it. “I would be honored to, Leia...thank you.”

Then she pulled out another box, “And this is a gift for you...from Han and I.”

She shook her head. “No, Leia...it’s too much. I couldn’t.”

She put the small box in her hand and covered it with hers. “Actually, this was Han’s idea. He wanted you to have this. Please don’t take his gift giving for granted. He seldom does this, and when he does, he’s usually not very good at it.”

She really didn’t know what to say. What could she? She opened the box to find a pair of diamond stud earrings inside. “He said every girl needs a pair, and he thought you needed something to go with your necklace.”

She grabbed the smaller woman and held on for dear life. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

Leia whispered in her ear, “I hope this isn’t inappropriate for me to say, but I think if your parents are out there somewhere, able to see you, they are immensely proud of the woman you are and realize what a gargantuan mistake they made. We are so happy to welcome you as part of our family, imperfect as we are. Thank you for loving our Ben.”

Now the tears are really coming. How she has ached for this...to be accepted and loved by a family. It was all she ever wanted...yet it was just beyond her grasp.

________________________________

The day of the wedding, Rey rose early and sought out her spot. She got her moments of solitude, but then with a sinking heart, she saw Ben walking towards her.

When he sat down next to her, she chidded him. “You know, it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

“Good thing this isn’t for real, then...”

She snorted, realizing the truth of his words stung a little. “Yeah...”

She felt him take her hand. “Rey, I want you to know that I am grateful for what you are doing. I know this has been hard for you. I also want you to know I care about you a lot. I actually feel like a better person around you. You have become a good friend. No matter what happens, that won’t change. I care about you and don’t want to hurt you.”

She kept her gaze down at their hands, not sure what to say.

“Also...I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I think about you and the life you have had, fighting so hard and doing so well for yourself. Could you….could you please just let me take care of you for a while?”

“I don’t know if I can. It will hurt too much on the other side” she admitted.

“Why don’t we just take this one day at a time. We have both been lonely for a long time. I don’t really believe the way you do, but maybe this is God’s way of giving us some companionship we both need?”

“Really Solo? Pulling the God card on me?”

He chuckled, “I mean it, Rey. I want to help you feel less lonely...like you do for me. It might not be a fairytale love, but it is a kind of affection...right?”

“I guess? I’m just scared.”

“I know. Don’t be afraid...I feel it too.”

He kissed her hand and pulled her into his side. They sat there for a while, watching the sunrise over the water, leaving all the things they wish they could say unspoken.

________________________________

The wedding was scheduled for 5 pm to catch the start of the sunset. Ben waited on the beach next to the pastor. He was dressed in khakis and a white on white Hawaiian print shirt. They decided to go barefoot, so the only other things he was wearing was the necklace Rey gave him and a lei of white orchids and plumerias around his neck. He felt nervous. He kept fidgeting, waiting for things to start.

Luke had a friend that played the ukulele, and he started the wedding march as he saw movement in front of the cottage. Han had offered to walk her down the beach, so he saw him first. When the turned the corner of the porch, she came into full view.

He couldn’t breathe.

He knew, in his head what she would probably look like. He had seen the dress and her jewelry. But seeing her like this was something else altogether. The delicate, flowy lace accented her tan skin and lovely figure perfectly. Her hair was down in soft waves with a wreath of various white flowers sitting on her crown. Her face was glowing, and in the setting sun, her eyes radiated golden light. He couldn’t help but think of how much more stunning they were than the costly jewels sitting around her neck. The gems just enhanced the warmth and beauty within her. She was holding some sort of small bouquet. Finally, they reached him on the sand, and Han deposited her there with a kiss on her cheek.

Her eyes were unreadable. Emotions were brimming there. But, she gave him a soft smile, and he took her hand. They were in this thing, whatever it was, together.

_________________________________

Leia insisted on them having a first dance, even if it wasn’t a wedding with dancing. Ben picked a song he liked and he thought suited them: I Won’t Give Up On Us by Jason Mraz. It was romantic, but it worked for their unique relationship too.

“I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake  
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am”

He held her close during the song, telling himself that they were putting on a good show. Anyone watching them would assume they were in love. They fooled them all.

But the joke was on him.

Their flight for Tahiti left in the morning, so they said their goodbyes and headed to the cottage hand in hand.

Once they were inside, she carefully took off their flowers and put them in her fridge. She showed him where the towels were, gave him spots in the bathroom and in the cabinet in her office to store his stuff, and kissed his cheek softly before heading to her room.

“Goodnight, Ben.”

Ben sat on the couch, bowed his head, and just stared at his hands. The platinum band on his ring finger was unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. He realized that sometime in the last week she had started calling him Ben...and he didn’t mind. In fact, he liked the way her voice sounded saying it.

He had done what he always swore not to. He was married. And, though it was in name only, he realized he was well on his way to falling in love with her as well. How could he not?

But that isn’t what she signed up for. She agreed to the temporary. And the thought of her walking away from him one day was more than he wanted to think about. So he took his own advice, and he decided to take one day at a time. He made up the hide-a-bed, brushed his teeth, changed into his sleeping shorts, and let the lullaby of the waves soothe his turbulent thoughts until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Rey's Dress: https://www.junebridals.com/boho-off-shoulder-sheath-scalloped-lace-wedding-dress-with-long-train-pET_711235.html


	12. Honeymoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not going to go the way you think...

The bungalow the Solo’s gave them was gorgeous. Rey didn’t know places like that existed. The water was the clearest shade of aqua, and the structure sat completely out over it. There were several places in the great room, deck, and bathroom that had windows in the floor showing the water and sea life beneath. There was a jacuzzi on the deck, and one large bed. Several overstuffed chairs flanked the seating area, and lounges sat on the deck...but that was it for sitting furniture.

There was also the situation of appearances. He was well known enough that they had to be careful.

“Ben, the bed is huge. It’s fine. It won’t be the last time I’m sure. We just have to get used to it.”

He knew she was right, but felt like he had pushed into all her sacred spaces in life and he was trying to be careful.

“Fine...but we can put pillows between us if it makes you feel better.”

She snaughed. “Yeah...I am super worried about you taking advantage of me.”

He laughed to himself at just how appealing that was starting to sound and wondered if he should warn her.

______________________________

They decided that the way to get through a honeymoon that really wasn’t a honeymoon was to stay busy. Luckily, there were lots of options. They went out to dinner. They zip lined. They snorkeled. They rode horses. They swam. They visited cultural museums and dance shows.

And each night, he would lay there listening to her breathing even out. He would wait until he heard her soft snores and heavy breathing, then he would turn and look at her. Her face often seemed strained and clouded over during the day, but when she was asleep her features softened. He couldn’t even remember what he thought was beautiful before her. He so badly wanted to reach out and stroke her cheek, but refrained lest he disturbed her.

So he whispered to her...told her the things he couldn’t say when she was awake. He told her that he thought he might be falling for her, but he was still afraid. He told her he didn’t want to hurt her and how he didn’t want to let go of her in five years. He wanted to keep her and never let her go.

He told her that every time he said “if you were mine,” he really meant, “I wish you to be mine.”

When she was awake, he was gentle and caring. They held hands and acted the part in public of a loving couple, but he didn’t trust himself to kiss her anymore. It was too much now.

______________________________

Rey was having fun when they were busy. She had never been to a place so nice. Really, had never been on a vacation like this.

Sleeping in the same bed wasn’t as bad as she thought. He stayed close to his side. She learned that he talked in his sleep a bit. It didn’t make any sense, but he said stuff. Sometimes it woke her up. When he did, he seemed agitated. One time she reached out and just put her hand on his shoulder, and he just stilled. And, she fell asleep with her hand on his shoulder. It was nice.

She tried not to notice how nice he looked in his swim trunks...or sleeping shorts. It seemed like he was without a shirt more than he was with one these days. The ignoring her heart part was getting easier.

When they just had one day left, they were getting ready for dinner after lazing on the deck in the sun for a while. She was reading, and he was snoozing. He seemed awfully tired on this trip. She thought he must not be sleeping well, and the strain they were under must have taken a bigger toll on him than she thought.

She pulled out the green dress he bought her to wear with a pair of gold wedge sandals. She braided a section in front on each side of her head and caught them together in the back of her head. A pair of gold filigree earrings completed the look.

He was ready and waiting for her, reading a magazine in one of the chairs. He looked up and stood up immediately.

“Wow.”

“I guess I look alright?”

“Um...yeah. Wow.”

She gave him a brilliant smile, and he offered her his arm. The place they were eating at was on the hotel property.

After they ordered, he told her about some of the upcoming plans.

“I got the email about Australia today. The dates are March 11th through 22nd in Queensland, then March 28 through April 8th at Bells Beach. This is one of the longest ones. I won’t have heats every day, so we can do some sightseeing between. I’m thinking we will fly over on the 7th and then leave April 10th. I need a few days to transition time zones and get a feel for the surf there.”

She noded her head. “That sounds amazing. I’ve always wanted to go there. I didn’t know when I agreed to all of this that there were so many international competitions.”

“I actually have the schedule for the year. I can forward it to you if you’d like.”

“Sure.”

His eyes narrowed on her. She seemed distant, but he couldn’t put his finger on why.

After their food came, they talked over a few other details

Dessert was presented to them with a flourish. “Compliments of the chef to celebrate your marriage. It is customary to kiss when given this special dessert.”

She leaned in and kissed him quickly before digging in.

They walked back to the room, but he didn’t want the night to be over yet.

“It seems a shame for you to change out of that dress already.”

She looked down at it. “It is lovely...but there’s no reason to keep it on now that we are back from dinner.”

An idea poped into his head. “Dancing. What if we dance?”

“I don’t really know how, Ben.”

“I can teach you...remember those ballroom lessons?”

“Oh...uh...sure.”

He grabed his phone and finds a song suitable for a waltz. “This is the simplest dance to learn. It’s also the one we could most likely do at a charity or wedding or something.”

He placed her hand on his shoulder and put one of his on her waist while holding her opposite hand with his other. He briefly explained the steps. They started moving, but she kept looking down at her feet. He moved his hand to draw her chin up.

“Don’t look down. Eyes on me...trust me to lead you.”

Her eyes softened. “I want to trust you, Ben.”

They kept dancing. “I want you to too...do you feel like you can’t trust me? Do you think I would hurt you?”

She sighed. “Not purposefully.”

He didn’t know what to say, so he tried to show his heart in his eyes.

She looked down again. “Maybe I don’t trust myself.”

That night, Rey had a bad dream. A really bad dream. It used to happen a lot, but she hadn’t had one for a while. She was five again, and her parents were leaving her all over again. She was crying and screaming, begging them to come back. But, they laughed at her and kept walking away.

Ben heard her moaning and whimpering in her sleep. It was loud enough to wake him up. He wasn’t sure if he should wake her, but she sounded miserable so he gave it a try.

He gently shook her shoulder. “Rey...Rey honey. You are OK. You are safe.”

She stirred a bit, but the whimpers continued.

He sat up a bit and put a hand on each shoulder and shook her harder. “Rey!”

This time her eyes flew open, wild and confused. He pulled her up into her arms, shooshing her as he rocked her. “You are OK...I’ve got you. It’s going to be OK. It was just a bad dream.”

Once Rey woke up and had her wits about her, she knew what was going on. This wasn’t about her parents. This was her anxiety trying to fight it’s way out. She was scared to death of losing Ben. And that fear was connecting itself to the other traumatic event in her life of being abandoned.

But, his arms around her felt amazing and safe, and he smelled so good….she allowed herself to accept his comfort.

What had he said...they would take it one day at a time?

He gently laid her down, and then scooted his body behind her while he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Is this OK?”

It wasn’t, but tonight...for tonight, she let it be. She wanted it to be

So...she nodded.

____________________________________

Rey woke first the next morning. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was that his chest was in her face. She was curled up into it, and it was two inches from her eyeballs. Secondly, she noticed her tank top had ridden up in the back, and his hand was resting on the bare skin there, spreading prickles of awareness up and down her spine.

She could tell from his deep breathing that he was still in a heavy sleep. She snuggled a bit closer, and she felt his hand instinctively draw her in.

Stars, this was heavenly. She wished she could wake up like this every day.

Technically, she could. After all, she was his wife. Legally. That allowed for morning snuggles right?

Right?


	13. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post honeymoon blues, and a gift from Leia! Thank you from the bottom of my fluffy heart for your kind words and interest in my little story!

When they got home, they found meals in the freezer and a full fridge. A note with heating instructions for the freezer items told them it was Leia’s work.

They settled into somewhat of a routine with bathroom schedules, sleep times, and morning wake-ups. They found co-existing in the cottage was simpler than navigating a shared bed. Rey felt more in control of her emotions when she was in her familiar space.

When they got home, Leia approached Rey with an idea. She wanted to do something special for his birthday, and to celebrate his official ownership of the property.

“I have talked with Luke, and we agree that the two of you should move into the big house and he’ll move to the cottage. I would like to redecorate the west wing for you two, but keep it a surprise for him.”

“Oh...wow. That is quite generous. But won’t renovating take a while? What did you have in mind?”

She gave her a sheepish smile before confessing, “Well...we actually already started. Since there isn’t anything structural, it won’t take long. A new bed for the master comes next week, the bathrooms are being re-tiled this week, and I’d like you to come shopping with me for linens, towels, etc.”

Rey couldn’t help but think their co-existing would be much simpler in the three-bedroom suite of the west wing than in the tiny cottage.

A twinge of guilt spiked in her gut. “I feel bad putting Luke out, though. This has been his home for a long time.”

“It was actually Luke’s idea. We have been staying with him in the east wing while we work.” She grabbed Rey’s hand, pulling her along, “C’mon...I will show you.”

She followed her up the stairs and towards the noise she now recognized as a sander. Workers were busily moving about, sanding the original hardwood floors. There were two bathrooms in this wing - one in the master and one between the other two rooms. When she peeked inside, she saw that the old tile was gone and the forms were in place for what was to come.

“We are trying to keep a simple color palate. The tile is white, and the counters will be white quartz. All the cabinets will be made of koa wood.”

Rey smiled to herself at the mention of the wood name.

She pulled her into one of the bedrooms. “I thought this one would make a good office. The view of the water is excellent, and it is large enough for you both to have a workspace in here if you need it.”

Next she led her to the room on the other side of the bathroom. “For now, this can just be a spare room, or whatever you need. Maybe someday...a nursery?”

Rey felt the blood leaving her head and rushing around her ears at that comment. Surely her face reflected her uncomfortability, because Leia quickly said, “Of course there is no rush on that, dear. I mean, you JUST got married. It’s an idea you can keep in mind for the future.”

Next, she led her to the master. Rey had never been in this room. It was huge, and one whole wall was made of windows overlooking the ocean view. She could see just beyond it that there was a generous balcony just outside. Around the corner was a large master bathroom, in a similar state as the other bathroom. Next door was a large space that was being dry-walled in as a walk-in closet. Leia picked up some catalogs from the floor near the door.

“Now, the bathroom will use the same materials as the other one. But, I thought this soaker tub would be nice in here.” She showed her a picture in a catalog of a large tub, big enough to fit two. “The closet doors will use the same wood as the bathroom cabinetry. And, if you like it, this is the furniture I’d like to get for in here.”

The picture Leia held out was a bedroom setup with beautiful, dark, wood furniture. The design was simple and classic. The sizeable bed was four-poster with a canopy well in the center. The picture had it styled with gauzy fabric draped over it and blowing in the breeze. “Now - just the bed and the nightstands would be out here--the dressers will get built into the closet. They already started installing those. So, I thought over here by the fireplace…”

Rey hadn’t noticed that the wall opposite of the windows had a beautifully built-in fireplace. It didn’t seem necessary with the Hawaiian heat, but it was lovely.

“...here I thought a loveseat and chaise could sit, with two bookcases on either side of the fireplace. What do you think?”

She really didn’t know what to say. It was wonderful, and regardless of the sham there were creating, it would be something lasting for Ben in his home. It was his birthday gift, after all.

“I think he will love it. It is such a generous and thoughtful idea, Leia.”

Leia hugged her and whispered. “We just want you two to be happy here. And please, Rey, if it is OK with you, I would love for you to call me Mom.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, thinking how much she wanted to call her mom, and have all of this be for her. So, she said, “I would love to, Mom. Thank you so much.”

______________________________

Ben had started training. He had two months to go until his first competition, and he had been lax the past few months. He knew he needed to work on nutrition and get back in the water on a regular schedule. It was also just easier to not be there at the cottage.

Rey had been withdrawn since coming back from the honeymoon. They figured out how to work around each other in their living situation, but it meant he didn’t see her often. At first, it seemed to just happen, but he was starting to feel like it was purposeful on her part. She didn’t want to be around him.

He couldn’t blame her. She continued to play the part he asked of her. She had no idea what had been churning in his heart, and the more he saw her withdraw, the more certain he became that the knowledge would not be welcome to her. He would see her in the water, working with their patients from afar, and often saw her head up to the main house. Sometimes she stayed there, and sometimes she and his mom left together. Sometimes she would be there at night, and she was cordial but aloof.

So he threw himself into his training. He was convinced that whatever sparks of hope he had seen on her face were a fool’s hope. And Kylo was no fool. He was a tough competitor, focused and sharp. His time with Rey had let him soften...and it was time to get back into competition form.

_________________________

They all decided to head to an early dinner to celebrate his birthday. He was a good sport and let his mom pick the restaurant and even tolerated the birthday display the waitstaff put on as there serenaded him and layered leis around his neck.

Leia said she had a cake back at the house for them all to celebrate with. He and Rey had an appointment with the estate lawyer in the morning to finalize the deed transfer, so he asked that it not get too late. She promised, and brought out the decadent chocolate cake with thirty candles, their flames dancing on top. Han joked about calling the fire department.

“Make a wish, son” Leia encouraged.

Oh, he wished that wishes could come true. But when his eyes stole a glance at his wife, and the smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, he knew that any wishes he wanted to make would be futile.

After he blew out the candles, Leia grabbed his hand, pulling him up the stairs. “Your dad and I have one more present for you” she called down to him, her voice brimming with excitement.

She went through the arch of the west wing and he noticed the chemical smell of new things. New lacquer, new paint, new wood...just new. He saw the refinished floors.

“At Luke’s insistence, he will move into the cottage, and the two of you will move up here. We wanted you to have your own space...so this is our birthday/wedding gift to you...and Rey.

She showed him the work in the hall bathroom and spare rooms before beckoning him into the master. It looked like something from an interior decorator showroom. He saw the large, romantic bed overflowing with different shades of white linens, curtains, and pillows, accented in soft turquoise and green. An aqua chaise and beige loveseat flanked the fireplace with two large bookcases on either side of the focal point. Two large area rugs of soft, loopy, cream yarn laid under the bed and in front of the fireplace..Soft flowy curtains flanked all of the large windows and french doors leading out the balcony. The closet was as big as the spare room, with rods, shelves, and drawers to store copious amounts of clothing and shoes. The bathroom was a similar design to the hall one, but with a large free-standing soaking tub in the middle. There was a small platform built into the side, where Leia had set candles, clearly intending to create a romantic space. All the towels were white and smaller versions of the loopy rugs sat in front of the double sink cabinet and large walk-in shower.

It was a dream space he would love to share with Rey...but he knew this wasn’t to be.

Leia’s expression looked worried. “Is it ok, honey? If you don’t like something, we can change it…”

Rey stepped forward, leaning into his side with her arm around his waist, looking up at him. “I know...it is so much, isn’t it love? She was so excited to do it, though.”

He looked down at her, knowing what she was doing. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her temple. “It is...too much...and too wonderful. You didn’t have to, Mom...and Dad...but thank you. I’m sure we will be happy here.”

They all insisted that they stay there tonight, so they walked back to the cottage hand in hand to get their things for the night.

“She was so excited...I didn’t have the heart to try to put a stop to it,” she said in low tones when they were out of earshot.

“I know. And...it is good. This will allow us to have more space and not be in each other’s hair so much. I will take the spare room, and you can have the master.”

Her voice raised in protest. “Ben! No...I couldn’t. It is your home...you should have it.”

“Really, Rey...I will be here a lot less than you. You deserve it. Besides, I am just happy to get off your hide-a-bed.”

“I...I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything. But, I think until Han and Leia are gone, we should stay there together. It’s just four days.”

“Of course...I...of course.”

Ben had started counting in his head. Two weeks in Australia, Two weeks in South Africa, two weeks in France, and a week here and there for holidays or when his parents visited. That was about two months a year. In five years, that was ten months, ten months all together they would need to share a room. He steeled himself, convincing himself he could survive it. He had to.

_____________________________

It was as if in his sleep, his body rebelled and did whatever it wanted without his mind hemming it in. He would start out solidly on his side of the bed. The fireplace side, since he told her to take the side with the view. Invariably, though, sometime after his consciousness surrendered and sleep ruled his form, he could not resist the magnetic pull of her. He would awake with her close. Sometimes she faced away and he would have her tucked close with an arm draped over her waist, the sweet smell of her hair under his nose. Sometimes she was facing him and his arm draped over her upper back, her soft breath fanning across his chest and her curled up hands touching him there. He always woke up first and would untangle himself before she was wise to what was happening.

Finally, his parents went home, and he moved to the spare room. His arms ached empty and his chest felt hollow, but his mind was more at peace.

So the days passed. Luke renovated the cottage, planning to make that his long-term residence. He moved in at the end of February.

The big house was quiet. Ben’s heart was not.


	14. Australia - part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...my plan is two chapters a day, Friday through Sunday and we will be done. Today, though, I just got a wee bit excited and posted four. Unless you aren't PST...then you will have a nice morning surprise and three tomorrow. Ooops...sorry about that! ;)
> 
> Who do you think caves first...Ben or Rey?

Luke had told Rey in mid-February that he was bringing on an intern from the program where she had met him.

She panicked a little, wondering if he thought she wasn’t pulling her weight. “Luke...why? We don’t need that.”

“Yes...we actually do. You are out of town a lot the next few years, and that is part of it, but also we need to mentor more experts in this area. Someday I will retire, and more therapists will be needed. Also, if we have more therapists ready, we can expand to include the veteran program.”

Her head whipped up and her eyes danced with excitement. “Truly? Oh...Luke! That would be amazing!”

So, a week before she left for Australia, She met Kaydel Connix, their new intern. She grew up in San Diego and had been surfing her whole life. Rey liked her, and she was excited about what bringing her and others on could allow them to do. It also helped her feel less guilty about the necessary time she knew she would need to spend away from Oahu.

Also, Luke had told her he learned about a veterans surf therapy program in Newcastle, Australia he wanted her to check out. They had time between the two competitions to see the sights and visit the facility. The plan was for her to meet with the founder, Mike O’Neil, for a few days, then go explore Sydney before heading to Bells Beach for the second pro event. Suddenly she felt less guilty about leaving and encouraged about realizing her vision for their practice.

It gave her something to think about besides a month in Australia sharing a room with Ben.

_______________________________

The first competition of the season was the Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia. This competition would last nine days overall, but he wouldn't have heats every day. They arrived four days before the start of the heats. She was shocked when instead of exiting the airport, Ben led her to a helicopter pad. He explained it would take them to their accommodations at Orpheus Island Lodge.

“I always try to stay farther away--it helps me keep focus,” he tells her.

As they approached, she couldn’t believe what she wass seeing. The property was breathtaking on its own island, just off the coast. The pilot explained that it was nestled in the Great Barrier Reef, providing unrivaled access and exploration of the world-famous landmark. He also explained the amenities provided - three meals a day prepared by their chef, helicopter transportation, excursions, the Gwendalan spa. She had never seen anything like it.

Their room was a secluded South Suite. The ocean view was stunning, with a deck complete with jacuzzi overlooking the view. Rey was intrigued by the outdoor bathtub too, on a secluded patio just off the bathroom.

Competition Ben was a little easier to co-exist with. His mental focus going into his competitive mode made him quiet and keep to himself. He usually fell asleep before her and was up long before she stirred awake, hitting the waves at the site of the heats to get used to the wave patterns. She filled the first few days with visits to the spa, paddle boarding around the reef, and, of course, surfing.

The opening night event was the first time she needed to make an appearance with him. Really, it was their first public event as a couple. He prepared her for a “red carpet” entrance, nothing like the Oscars, he assured her, but there would be press asking him questions, and maybe her.

When they exited the limo that taxied them from the helipad, she wasn’t really prepared for what she saw.

There was a long ocean blue carpet complete with lots of bodies and flashes as soon as they stepped out. He grabbed her hand to head to their first destination, the photo op. She glanced around and felt like she at least looked the part in a flowy white halter sundress and camel platform sandals. Most of the surfers were in shorts and short-sleeved button-down shirts, much like Ben. But while they were colorful and patterned in their attire, Ben was true to his brand in a plain black shirt and grey shorts with his black leather flip-flops.

Smiling actually wasn’t hard. After a long time of affection “radio silence,” she found expressions of happiness coming quite naturally to her face at the feel of his skin on her hand. When they stopped for the photo op, he moved his hand to her mid-back, which was bare with the style of her dress. The jolt of his touch there caused her to lean against his side, adding to the image of a loving couple they are trying to project.

As they made their way hand in hand down the press junket, she followed his lead and ignored most of the questions until he stopped in front of the reporter of his choice to answer a few questions. How was he feeling about the competition? Was he feeling pressure returning as the reigning champion of the World Surf League last year? Was he worried that getting married will interrupt his famous steel-like focus?

He bristled at the last question. “If anything, being married now has made me more settled and able to focus. Instead of finding time to steal away with my girl, she’s around all the time now.” He smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head, his arm around her coming up to rub her shoulder.

“Rey...is Kylo as focused in his personal life as he is in surfing?”

She looked up into his eyes, finding truthful words that would also affirm their image. “Kylo’s focus applies to all areas of his life. With me, his focus is also singular and present...I have no complaints.”

He pulled her along to a few more reporters before they made their way into the opening ceremonies. He temporarily left her in the participant section of the crowd as he was introduced on stage. She couldn’t help but feel pride and excitement, being pulled into this part of his world that she had always been a fan of. She couldn’t believe she got to be here with him.

Before they got to Australia, she wasn’t planning to attend all the events. She was trying to keep her self-protective distance. But now that they were here, she was caught up in the swell of event’s excitement and the headiness of being part of Ben’s world.

After the day of qualifying heats, Ben was in the top three with two Australians, Julian Wilson, and Adrian Buchan. While the other surfers were fantastic, the combination of Ben’s ability and commanding physical presence seemed to elevate his every move. The surfer's style was not part of what was scored, but Ben’s sheer force factored into his speed and power scores, putting him in a class that is all his own. He was mesmerizing to watch in the water. And, true to their ruse, when he returned to shore to the competitor section where she watched from, they often embraced or kissed for the crowd.

She tried to be careful, she really did, but she found here it was easy to slip. The luxurious resort, the thrill of watching him surf--all of it wooed her. She found more and more, she was not consciously thinking about pretending. She was just responding to her blooming feelings for the kind, strong, devastatingly attractive man that was free with affections as if they were real.

When they were alone, she was more measured. She was able to reel it in and suppress the feelings. She told herself that was her boundary...that was what kept it where they agreed to be. She withdrew and researched the work that Mike was doing, prepping questions for him. She laid in the lounge chair on their deck and lost herself in thought while drinking in the view.

She could do this.

_________________________________

Ben won the Quick Pro. She watched with pride as he was awarded his prize money and points moving forward in the season.

The next morning they headed to the airport to fly to Sydney where he rented a jeep to head to Newcastle. Mike O’Neill had generously offered them a cabin on the property for the two nights they would be staying.

Their host came out to greet them when they arrived.

“Rey, Kylo - welcome to Honour Camp. And Kylo - and congrats, mate. I’m a big fan of your career.” He was tall and solid, just a few inches shorter than Ben, with a warm and genuine handshake. He had sparkling blue eyes that popped in his tan face. His sandy blond hair was long and wavy, highlighted by years in the sun. His outgoing nature and charming personality made them feel instantly welcome and comfortable. Ben tried to quell the anxiety that rose as he watched Rey easily connect with him.

Mike gave them the tour, explaining some of their philosophy and schedule as they went. They had a residential program with a group of twelve shared cabins for the patients and four additional duplex cabins for staff and guests. There was also a lodge in the middle with the mess hall and meeting room. Since the program was for veterans, they brought a military feel to the structure to help them feel comfortable.

He and Rey had so much to talk about, getting to know each other and sharing treatment stories. They were speaking a language Ben knew nothing about, so he excused himself to return to their cabin and make some arrangements.

He couldn’t help but think if circumstances were different, and Rey was meeting Mike free from their farce, there would be romantic potential for the two of them. They had so much in common and their connection was free and easy. Ben started to mull over all that she would be missing the next five years because of what she committed to.

______________________________

They would join the staff and residents for meals. Rey tried to keep the emotional response she was having by being here under control. To see the veteran program in action was a dream come true. She was not prepared, though, to be so emotionally rocked by their stories...and physical state. Some of them wore their wounds visually. Missing limbs and burned faces were easy to assess, but the invisible scars of PTSD were not.

Mostly during the day, Rey observed their sessions. She interacted a bit with the patients, thanking them for their service and trying to be encouraging, but wanted to not intrude on their treatment. After their daily sessions, she would meet with Mike in his office as he went over his documentation of the treatment plan and the uniqueness of treating PTSD. While she had read up on the topic, she was overwhelmed with all that would really be needed to expand their practice in this area.

Mike was generous and authentic in conversation, sprinkled with camaraderie and laughter. He was easy to talk to and she found him a fast friend. She often found herself wishing her engagement with Ben could be as easy and free of baggage.

Every once in a while she would look back and see Ben pass by, he expression unreadable. She wondered if this detour was frustrating to him and taking away from his focus. But, he agreed to come, and he had lots of time to himself. She tried to shrug off the guilt she felt from him and soak up as much as Mike would offer her.

___________________________________

Ben was jealous. He tried to deny it, but the morning of their departure, he could no longer lie to himself. He did his best to keep it at bay, especially from their kind host. He couldn’t not be who he was, the perfect kind of guy that Rey should have had a chance with. And now it was too late to release shackles that Rey was stuck to him with.

Even more devastating was watching her interact with this population she desperately wanted to work with. Seeing her in her element caring for people did new things to his heart. Her beauty grew exponentially in his eyes as he discovered more and more parts of Rey. He felt like the essence of her was boring down into his soul, and he knew he will never be the same now.

Ben had long known his feelings for her were wading into deep places, places he had closed off long ago, and even some that had never been explored. But now...now he was faced not only with his love for her but that the love he felt wanted her to be happy. He wished he could release her to find happiness with someone like Mike, even if it would rip his heart out to do so. Instead, what they had created was sucking the joy from her life, and he was to blame.

They said their goodbyes and traveled in silence into Sydney. They saw the sights there and went through the motions. He even arranged for Rey to get an interactive experience with Koalas at the Sydney Zoo for her birthday. She adored them and thanked him profusely for arranging the gift for her. In those little moments, he would see the strain break free from her eyes, but it always came back.

It was the light. The light he had first seen in her when they met, the light that made him call her Keoa. It was subdued, and it was all his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the Orpheus Island Lodge https://www.orpheus.com.au/


	15. Australia - part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone might confess their feelings...but will it be to the right person?
> 
> Warning: you will fall more in love with Ben Solo throughout this chapter.
> 
> Thanks always for reading! And, I appreciate it when y'all refer my story to friends...feel free to share!

Once they left Sydney for Bells Beach, he noticed her sleeping more and she seemed to be tired a lot. When he came back to the hotel from practice, she would be napping. The second day when he returned for lunch, he sat next to her sleeping form on the bed and smoothed her hair out of her eyes. When his fingers made contact with the skin on her forehead, she felt hot. Alarmed, he felt again and knew she had a fever. It felt like a bad one too.

He thought back and remembered as they left Mike’s she had been sniffly and coughed a bit in Sydney. It wasn’t too terrible, and she had taken some sort of cold medicine to manage her symptoms so she wouldn’t miss out on all the fun, but she didn’t have a fever then.

He gently woke her.

“Rey...Ku‘uipo…”

She moaned in response.

“Rey, please tell me what hurts. You have a fever...what is wrong?”

“My head...dizzy…it hurts...” she whimpered.

Kylo called down to the concierge and requested information on a local doctor. They had a few that would make house calls to the hotel for guests, and they arranged for one to come in an hour. He got a washcloth in the bathroom wet to place on her forehead and found a straw in the kitchenette to give her some water. She protested but complied with his request to take a few sips. He just hovered until the doctor arrived, keeping watch over her, still in his wetsuit from practice.

Finally, the doctor arrived and checked her out.

“Well, she had a virus that wreaked havoc with her sinuses. Had she been complaining of pain there?”

He thought to himself with a laugh that she never complained about anything. “No...I didn’t know she was feeling so poorly until I felt how warm she was.”

“Well, she definitely has a sinus infection...a pretty bad one. Hopefully, that is the extent of it. That would explain her headache and dizziness since it can affect her sinuses and ear tubes. She may have an infection in that left ear too. I will prescribe her an antibiotic. She needs lots of rest and fluids, and as much food as she tolerates. When are you due to fly home?”

“Nine days.”

“Well, I don’t want her flying for a solid two weeks. Sinus infections can be serious when they aren’t fully healed. If you introduce altitude to the mix, it could rupture her eardrums and cause hearing loss. Can you change your itinerary?”

Ben nodded. He would do whatever Rey needed. He felt a fierce urge rise up in him to take care of her and do whatever he had to do.

The doctor gave him a reference for a nursing organization that could provide care for her if needed. Ben wanted someone there with her while he was out at his heats. The doctor also arranged for one to come that day to bring her medication and show Ben what to do.

The nurse should be there in 30 minutes. After checking on her again, he took the chance to take a quick shower to be ready. He canceled his ride back to the beach for the afternoon practice.

The nurse came and helped him administer her first dose. She warned him that it could upset her stomach so they needed to try to get some food in her.

“Even broth would help. I brought some...if you can heat it up, I can work on that with you.”

He took the carton and put it in a coffee mug before nuking it. He felt like his body was on autopilot while his mind fretted next to the girl in his bed.

Rey proved to be an obedient patient. She dutifully took her medicine, drank her broth, and swallowed some ibuprofen to bring her fever down. The nurse suggested a warm bath for her twice a day to help open her sinuses.

He panicked. Of course, a husband could help his wife with something like that. A real husband...a husband with the rights to do so. But...he wasn’t...he couldn’t. He thought of an out.

“Would you be able to assist her with that now? I realized that we don’t have any food supplies here that we will need. I saw a grocery shop around the corner...maybe I could go stock up on what you think she needs while you do that?”

“Of course, sir. Of course. You will want to get more broth. You could get some crackers--if her throat isn’t too sore, they might be OK. Also, soup, jello, juices, and some soft cheese would be good. Don’t forget yourself too. If you are going to be here for a while, you will need things to eat too. Also, I think she might be a bit dehydrated. An electrolyte formula to add to her drinks for a few days would be good.

He made notes and headed off to stock up. How was he going to assist her with things like this? He hoped he meds worked quickly...if not, he wasn’t sure what to do.

____________________________________

When he returned, he saw Rey sitting up in the bed with pillows propped behind her. She looked a little better--not so pale. The nurse said the bath helped. She left him instructions that she needed to do a bowl steam bath with her sinuses twice a day. The regular bath could just be once a day, but she wanted her to do it again tonight. She left some eucalyptus drops to add to both of those to help open her sinuses. She also left a neti pot if they wanted to try that to flush her sinuses.

He had tomorrow off before the heats started up again the next day. The nurse agreed to return during the day for five days while he was in competition. She thought after that, she should be recovered enough to be left on her own.

He saw her out and returned to the bed. He carefully sat next to her and picked up her hand.

“Hey, you...how are you feeling?”

She gave him a weak smile. “A little better. My head isn’t pounding quite as bad...and I don’t feel as feverish. The Advil is working.”

He nodded, worry lines still present in his forehead.

“You are supposed to have fluids. I got orange, apple, grape, and cranberry juice. I wasn’t sure what would sound good.”

“Maybe some grape juice? And...water. Cold water sounds really good.”

He rose to take care of that, and she caught his hand and tugged.

“Thank you, Ben. I’m sorry to put a strain on you when you need to think about your job. I'm supposed to be here to support you.”

He rubbed the back side of her hand with his thumb. “I promised to take care of you, in sickness and in health. Remember? I meant it. I keep my word, Rey.” He gently placed her hand back on the bed and went to the kitchen.

________________________________

“So how are we going to do this?” she asked nervously.

She had had another dose of meds, and now it was bath time again. She wasn’t steady enough on her feet to let her do this alone, especially on slippery surfaces with the dizziness still present. He was thinking about how they could make this work, him helping her with a bath...Lord help him.

Suddenly, he had an idea. “Well...this isn’t really for the sake of cleaning, right? It’s to help your temperature and open your sinuses. Maybe you could get your swimsuit on? It’s made for water...right?”

He saw relief wash over her face. “Yeah - I think that would work.”

She directed him to the drawer where she had stashed her suits. It felt a little too intimate to be rifling through her clothing, but it was better than having to deal with a naked Rey.

He found the one she thought would be easiest to get on and took it to her on the bed before leaving for the bathroom to run her bathwater so she could get it on.

She called to him that she was ready. He braced her to his side to take her to the bathroom.

“Um...Ben? I need to use the bathroom first.”

He helped her to the water closet and waited, then helped her to the tub. He thought about how she looked little and frail now, as opposed to strong as he normally thought of her when she was in a swimsuit in the water, surfing.

He left her for 20 minutes, peeking in a time or two to make sure she hadn’t drowned. Before he helped her out, he asked what she wanted to put on.

She directed him to the top drawer that had her sleeping clothes...and underwear. He swallowed hard before opening it to fetch what she described. As quickly as possible, he found the cami and shorts she wanted, and the least feminine pair of undies he could eyeball without touching too many of them. He placed them on the shelf next to the bathtub, helped her get out and gently dried her off. He pushed his mind to just go through the motions of it without thinking about what he was doing, where, and with whom.

He sat her down on the edge of the tub platform, in arms-reach of the shelf to get dressed. She promised to stay seated to get dressed, so he left her to it. Just a few moments later, he heard her calling him weakly. He went back in and saw her sitting in her sleeping shorts, but the tank-style swimsuit top was still on her. He saw the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I...I can’t get this off now that it’s wet. It’s...it’s sticking and I don’t have the strength to pull it off. I need help.”

He inhaled sharply through his nose and asked her to turn around. She faced the tub, and as carefully as possible, he grabbed the bottom sides of the garment and pulled it up and over her head. She quickly drew up the towel to cover her front, leaving her tan back exposed.

“Thank you,” she whispered over her shoulder.

He ran from the room, waiting for her to finish dressing so he could help her to bed, then he could breathe again.

______________________________

He was pretty sure this was going to kill him. The growing feelings he had for Rey, combined with nurturing her through her illness and now the inevitable response his body was having to a different level of intimacy with her was too much. He was now well past any kind of denial he tried to give himself.

He was in love with his wife.

He had promised to never do to never do it again. Not only had he disobeyed his own rule, but it was worse than ever before. He thought he was in love with Malia...but it never stirred these feelings of needing to protect and care for her, and never made him feel like he would be willing to sacrifice his own feelings for her happiness.

What he felt for Rey was deep waters he had never been in before, and he felt seasick in the vertigoed unfamiliarity and intensity of it.

In the night, when her meds wore off, he helped her to the bathroom while getting her next dosage ready.

He pulled her close to keep her warm as her fever made he shiver until the drugs kicked in.

He helped her try the neti pot in the morning, carefully reading her the instructions about the angle and method to use it, and didn’t even flinch at the muck it pushed out of her sinuses.

He got her drinks and prodded her to drink her broth.

He brought her the lotion infused tissues he got from the store when she needed to blow her nose. He protested her insistence that he leave for his heats, coercing a promise from the nurse that she would call him if there was any change in her condition.

He worried. His legendary laser-focus was broken. He did OK, but he was distracted, and it showed. He came in second in the Rip Curl Pro at Bells Beach...and he didn’t even care.

Rey’s face fell at the news, knowing she was to blame.

He brushed it off. He ran to local restaurants to get her stew and other things that were sounding good to her in her recovery. He got puzzles for them to pass the time. They sat curled together on the couch to watch movies. They sat on the chaise couch on the porch, soaking up the warmth and the sunset

Every night, he would pull her close to let her fall asleep on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her. He didn’t sleep much until her breathing didn’t rattle and she was eating normally. His world had shifted its axis. Where it used to only revolve around himself, it now expanded to revolve around her first.

When they finally got home, he had a long talk with Uncle Luke. He confessed to him what had been happening in his heart and mind with Rey. He waited for Luke’s chastisement.

Instead, Luke took his time to respond, letting his eyes roam out to the sunset. “I wonder...did you ever think about why Meme did what she did with her will?”

This was his response? He couldn’t keep the annoyance out of his voice. “Of course I have...over and over I have. It still doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Hmmm. Do you believe that Meme loved you?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think the had your best interest at heart?”

“Well...I thought she would have…”

Luke let that hang there for a minute before starting. “You know, you weren’t the only one devastated by what happened with Malia. The people who love you were broken hearted as well. Even more so by the pain we all watched you go through. You are known for your steely resolve. It has brought you success...but in the case of love, it jaded you and closed you off. The thought of you never falling in love again and living out your life alone broke Meme’s heart. She knew you wouldn’t do it on your own. However misguided, the stipulation was her way of trying to force you to at least have a chance to love again. She thought if you found someone you were willing to stay married to for five years, maybe there was a chance for you. When your time was running out, and I knew you needed someone, I couldn’t help but think about how perfect you and Rey would be together. I guess my matchmaking paired with Meme’s will proved to be what brought you down.”

“That was a pretty risky gamble she took. What if it didn’t work? What if I didn’t marry and the land was lost?”

Luke chuckled. “I guess your grandmother thought your heart was more important than a big plot of old land. Besides, she knew you and knew that you wouldn’t let it get away from our family. She knew you would follow the requirement if nothing else than out of sheer stubbornness.”

Ben’s eyes welled up, feeling the weight of his family’s love for him and what they were willing to sacrifice for his happiness.

“What do I do now?” he whispered.

“Oh, my boy. There are worse things in this world than falling in love with your wife. Woo her...tell her how you feel.”

“What if it scares her away?”

Luke grinned at him and wiggled his eyebrows. “What if it doesn’t?”


	16. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are entering the part of this story where the Title "Breaking Point" comes from. 
> 
> Don't be afraid...more is to come tomorrow...

In the weeks since they had been back from Australia, Rey felt more at ease in her relationship with Ben. He was attentive and caring, and she started to feel a true friendship that would help them weather the next several years they would spend together. She cared about him so much, and there was an abiding respect and affection growing between them. How could it not? He was so tender and complete in his care for her when she was sick. Someone wouldn’t do that unless they cared and they were a true friend.

He sought her out after surfing sessions, and he came to just hang out in the evenings in the sitting area of her room. Sometimes they read, sometimes they talked about her hopes and dreams, and sometimes they talked about upcoming trips. He also started processing with her some thoughts he was having about his future and what was next.

Tonight he seemed especially pensive. “Rey...to help with the surf therapy, does someone have to be trained professionally in counseling? Is there room to have people just teach the surfing while others do the therapy work?”

She peeked over the article she was reading on her iPad. “Sure. Mike does that at Honour Camp. Each therapist has a surf instructor that works with them. That gives them more coverage for the patients, especially when they are first learning. Most of the therapy part happens in sessions outside of the water, so the counseling isn't necessary in the water. Why...are you volunteering?” she chided.

He shrugged his big shoulders. “I don’t know...maybe. I’m thinking about what I want to do on the other side. I liked interacting with the guys there, and just wondered if it was something I would be good at.”

She put her hand on his bicep, rubbing him there gently. “I think you would be amazing at it. Truly. But you aren’t ready to retire yet...are you? Is this because of what happened at Bells Beach? You know that was just because of the strain of taking care of me. You should have just let the nurse handle it.”

“I didn’t want to let the nurse take care of it. Besides, I’m not one of the young guys anymore. I am just starting to think more about what is next, and what my life might look like if surf competitions didn’t dominate it.”

Her eyes were wistful. “I think you can do anything you put your mind to, Ben.”

He returned her gaze and wondered if she had any idea what her words did to the secret of what he really wants to do...and in light of that if her words could be true.

________________________________________

Two days before the Make-a-Wish Gala, Ben thought to ask Rey if she had a dress.

“A dress...what kind of a dress?”

He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, “I’m sorry...I should have asked before. It’s a formal event, Rey. Society pages kind of thing. You will need a gown.”

“Oh.” That is all she can say...she isn’t even sure where to get such a dress.

On instinct, she grabbed the necklace Ben got her and drove to Maz’s shop. She was relieved to find the tiny woman alone. She explained her dilemma. and Maz calmly walked her to the back of the shop.

“My dear...I have you covered. I also sell formals and gowns...a variety of them. Did you have any style or color in mind?”

She dug around in her purse and pulled out the box with her necklace. “Ben gave this to me, and I would like to wear it. I don’t know if you have anything that would match it...or that it could work with?”

Maz moved to a rack in the very back and pulled out two dresses. One was a silvery grey and one was coral but had aqua accents in a belt and the underskirt that peeked through at the slit on the left leg. She tried on the grey first. It was lovely and serviceable, but not exciting. Then she pulled on the coral one. The fabric was soft and flowy, almost in contrast to the vibrant coral color. Its strapless style cut across her at the mid-chest level and clever seaming flattered her waist and figure perfectly. It was form fitting through her hips before flowing out softly, spilling into a slight train in the back. The turquoise fabric accents popped on the coral color, which seemed to make her look more tan than she already was and highlighted the color of her eyes. She reached in to put on the necklace with it and squealed.

“Maz! It is perfect! I love it!”

The woman smiled at her, fiddling with the back a bit. “It’s a little too big around, but Angelica should be able to pull up the side seams quickly to fix that. I can have it ready by the close of business for you tomorrow.”

Rey turned to hug her. “Thank you so much...I don’t know what I would do without you.”

She snorted, “Next time tell that husband of yours to give you more than two days notice!” Then those large eyes behind the glasses narrowed on her face. “How are you doing, my dear?”

Rey froze, unsure what to say to this incredibly perceptive woman. She always felt like she was looking into her soul.

“I am well...we have been traveling a lot, and I got pretty sick on our last trip, so it took a while to recover. Ben took very good care of me, though. He has a trip coming up, but I’m staying here this time for work.”

“I have known the Skywalker-Solo family for a very long time, Rey. Ben has struggled, but I sense he has found true happiness with you. The eyes don’t lie, dear.”

Rey pondered her words as she changed out of the dress after the seamstress made her marks for tailoring. Was Ben happy? They had developed a friendship that they both enjoyed...but was he happy? Could he be happy with her?

She actually hoped Maz was wrong, about the eyes not being able to lie. If not, Ben would be able to see her heart in hers every time he looked at her, and she wouldn’t be able to hide the truth from him.

______________________________

Ben realized he had never dressed this formally for an event with Rey. There had not been the need to. He thought he cleaned up nicely, and he hoped she thought so too.

He had been thinking about her all day, trying to figure out how to say what was on his heart. He mulled over Luke’s words, and he wanted to heed them, but he was more a man of action than of words. He couldn’t seem to find the right ones to say what he was thinking. But he wanted to...he really wanted to before he had to leave in two days.

He went downstairs and waited in the living room for her. He could hear her feet padding across the hardwood floors as she got ready. Then he heard the clack of heels instead and he figured she must be almost done. Finally, there were the definitive steps of heels and rustling fabric coming down the hall.

He took a breath and looked up, anticipating her appearance on the stairs. First, he saw her foot encased in high, strappy silver sandals. Then...a leg..a lot of a shapely, tan leg. Was the dress reddish-pinkish orange? Was that even a color? But he could see turquoise too. When she stood at the bottom landing, she seemed a bit breathless. Maybe from rushing around?

He looked up at her face and just froze. She was stunningly beautiful to him all the time, but what she had going on tonight highlighted everything in exactly the right way. Her eyes caught the light like jewels, her subtle makeup enhancing her natural beauty. Her cheeks were flushed in excitement. Her hair was twisted in a low updo that was soft and left some tendrils escaping. He saw the necklace...his necklace on her bare chest and the flattering fabric of the dress hugged every curve she had.

Have mercy.

He stepped up to the landing and tucked her hand in his arm as he led her out of the house and murmured to her, “You look amazing….so Nohea. I will be the envy of every man there tonight.” He leaned down to kiss her hand.

The smile...that smile he hadn’t seen for so long lit up her face as she said, “You don’t look too bad yourself, Solo.”

__________________________

It should literally be illegal for a man to look that good in a tux. She was positive there was no look that he couldn’t pull off. Her heart started fluttering, she felt her skin flushing, and her breathing sped up like she had run down the beach instead of walked down the stairs. He was clean-shaven, and his dark hair shone like silk. She looked into those dark eyes and wondered if she could see what Maz saw. They looked soft and smiley...it that what it was?

He had hired a driver for the event. Once they were tucked in the back seat, he started explaining the evening to her. He told her about some of the guests that would be at their table. In addition to Luke, a few other associates that would be there--mostly people he knew from the pro surf world. Ben sponsored a table each year. There would be a silent auction, a dinner, and then dancing. When they pulled up to the hotel, he jumped out quickly to assist her.

There were a few photographers taking photos on their way in. They asked them to stop and pose and congratulate Ben for his season so far. Then they asked Rey about her dress. She just told them that it was from Maz’s, not really sure why they would ask that. Then they kept walking inside.

The sweet scent of Hawaiian flowers greeted them in the ballroom. It was lovely and vibrant with a live band singing traditional Hawaiian music softly as guests greeted each other. Ben introduced her as his wife to a few people. Every time he said the word, a spark of pleasure tingled down her spine, seemingly connecting to his hand he had been keeping on her lower back.

When the couple they had been talking to moved on, he dropped his head and kissed her exposed shoulder. It was like a shock. Her eyes opened wide and moved to his, searching for what was happening. He just smiled and shrugged, suggesting they check out the silent auction. They strolled down the tables offering various items with his arm around her waist. Golf trips, spa days, and pieces of art were on display.

One particular painting caught her eye. It was an ocean scene at sunset. The artist was able to incorporate the effect of the sun glistening on the water, making it sparkle like diamonds. Gentle waves came into shore, and the clouds were various shades of pink and coral. It was stunning and reminded Rey of the view from her spot...their spot.

They were seated for a delicious dinner. The conversation flowed easily and Rey felt her spirit rising. Laughter seemed to come easy on her lips.

There was dancing before the auction announcements, and before the live auction that would close the night. Ben led her to the floor for a slow dance. She laced her arms up around his neck as his rested on her lower back. The gentle tune had them swaying slowly together...and close.

“You have the light in your eyes again, Keoa. So beautiful.” He dipped down and caught her lips with his, soft and gentle at first, but then growing in intensity. He tried to pour everything he had been feeling into it...all the things he didn’t know how to say. Her fingers were threading through his hair, and it was perfect...just perfect.

That is...until he heard a voice with echoes of the past interrupting.

“Ben...is that you? I heard you were back in town. This must be your lovely new bride.” Seemingly oblivious to the moment she had interrupted, she extended her hand to Rey. “It’s so nice to meet you...I am Malia.”

__________________________________

Rey’s brain was still foggy, coming up for air after that kiss. Ben had never kissed her before with that kind of abandon and passion. Her heart was soaring, and for about 30 seconds she was convinced that they were equal and in the same place with their feelings. The wheels started turning, setting in motion thoughts that maybe he did love her...maybe this could be a real marriage...maybe….

Then one word at the end of a string of indiscernible words shattered it all.

Malia.

She instantly identified who the beautiful woman with gorgeous Hawaiian heritage oozing out of her olive skin and long, and wavy dark hair was. Her green eyes were dazzling, brought out by the vivid green of her figure-hugging gown. She was voluptuous and sexy in womanly ways Rey could never hope to be.

This was Ben’s ex-fiance.

This was the woman who had broken Ben’s heart.

Her eyes fell on his, and they looked awfully guilty to her, and her heart sank to her toes.

In all the months of fake affection they had shared, this was the woman he had put on the best show for--and even Rey had bought it.

Her head was spinning and she felt like she was under water. As if in slow motion, she murmured a greeting to the woman and shook her hand. Her soft, lovely hands that had been on Ben. Touching him in ways she knew now she never would.

Her Ben.

No...not her Ben.

Her heart was ripping in two.

She flung an excuse to use the restroom behind her as she hurried to flee the room. She struggled to see where to go as her vision swam. Robotically, she told her brain to seek the exit. There were taxicabs out front, and she caught one without thought. Where... where to?

She gave the driver the name of a hotel down the street from her old apartment, near the university. She had a credit card and her ID in her small clutch...she would figure out what to do from there.

She managed to hold back the tears as she checked- in. There were a family and some young men waiting in the lobby, and her state caused all eyes to be on to her. The beautiful woman with the gorgeous dress and mournful eyes was hard to not look at...to wonder what happened.

Once she was in the safety of her room, she pulled off the dress. She laid on the hard hotel bed and poured out her heart in rivers of tears. She was supposed to be an expert at assessing people’s behavior. How could she have been so brilliantly wrong about him?

She couldn’t go home, not with Ben there. She couldn’t face him. Not now...maybe never.

_________________________________

Ben removed himself from Malia’s presence as quickly as he could without being rude. For half a second, he reveled in the fact that he didn’t feel anything after not seeing her for so long. No feelings, no pain...nothing.

Nothing except worry for Rey...and annoyance at Malia’s interruption. He was just gathering the courage to take her out to the veranda and try to articulate his feelings to her. She had felt so right and real in his arms just then...then Malia had to pick that exact moment to make her reappearance in his life.

He left the ballroom, searching down the hall for her. She said she was going to the bathroom? He lingered in the hall outside and even went so far as to ask another guest to call out to her in there in case she was not well. The older woman had come out shaking her head. She wasn’t there.

Where could she be? What happened?

Panic started to set in. He got out his phone and started texting her.

Ben: Rey - where are you, sweetheart?

Ben: I am starting to get worried. Are you unwell?

Ben: I am beside myself...where are you?

Did someone steal her away? Should he call the police? How could she just vanish like that?

He found Luke and told him what was going on. Luke tried texting her too.

A few seconds later, she responded to him that she was safe and needed time to herself.

Then anger spiked through Ben. Why had she run out on him like that? Couldn’t she tell him she was leaving? And she felt like she could ignore his messages but respond to Luke’s? He was her husband!

Wisely, Luke pulled him out to the line of cars to find a ride home. They rode in silence until they got to the house. Luke followed him as he stalked inside.

“How could she do this?” he bellowed. “Why would she just leave me there like that. And not tell me? It makes no sense, Luke. We were having such a fantastic night.” He yanked off his jacket and ripped off his bow tie.

Calmly, Luke said. “I understand you are upset, Ben. I am worried about Rey too. But getting angry isn’t going to help us figure out what happened. This isn’t typical behavior for her...something had to have upset her. Walk me through the night.”

So Ben explained about how the night had gone. The lingering touches and genuine affection. He talked about the shopping through the auction, and laughter around dinner.

“Yeah - I was there for that part. Everything was fine. Great even. What happened next.”

He told him about taking her out to dance, and how real it all felt with her in his arms. With no shame, he told him about the kiss. “I was going to take her out to the terrace after that...to declare my love for her and tell her how I really felt. And then...then she was just gone.”

“So...you kissed her and she ran out?”

“Yes...well, no. Malia came up to us…”

Luke’s countenance changed as he started to understand the problem.

“...she was trying to meet her or something? Anyway, she totally interrupted, Rey shook her hand and then ran off.”

“Oh...sweet nephew. I am 100% confident that girl is falling in love with you, and running into your beautiful ex-fiance, the one who rocked your world for so long and made you swear off love--I’m sure was devastating to her.”

“But I don’t care about Malia...I love Rey.”

“Yeah...see Ben, I know that...and you know that...but you never got to the part where Rey knows that. As far as she knows, it is all still pretend. And tonight, when you were feeling it and expressing it the most, it was right in front of your ex.”

Ben stopped the pacing he had been doing and sat down heavily. “You are saying that she thinks I was putting on a passionate show of affection for Malia to see?”

“Well, I’m no mind reader, but I am an expert on human behavior. Something severe would have had to happen to make Rey do what she did, and feeling like you were trying to make your ex-fiance jealous by using her is about all I can come up with right now that fits the bill.”

He felt sick.

He had to find her.

He had to tell her the truth.

He had to make her understand.

He stumbled up the stairs, just shedding his shirt and shoes before he fell into her bed. He just needed to smell her, grasping for some little thread of her he could hold onto. He wept into her pillow for her and her misunderstanding, for his bleeding heart, and for what could have been. Why had he taken so long to try to tell her?

He waited for two days before he had to leave. She was unresponsive to him, so it didn’t make sense to stay and mope around without her. He needed to fling himself into surfing. He could lose himself in his focus.

Luke said she needed time, and assured him he would try to talk to her.

So he left.


	17. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...I dropped that last chapter and ran, trying to hide from the angst I left you with. If you write, you understand that sometimes you feel like it's not your fingers typing. You mean for things to turn out a certain way, or not be so hard, then those characters just take over. I'm blaming Ben & Rey. But, since this one is short, I'm getting it out there tonight. It's not really going to help you feel better, but it will move us forward. 
> 
> Some have asked - I am on Tumblr, but am not very active there. It's where I mostly save things for me to look at later. But, in case you want to find me, it's: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/stargazer1116

Three days later she got a text from Luke. 

Luke: He’s gone...you can come home.

So she did. And she wouldn’t talk to him about it.

She went to sessions, but otherwise, she kept to herself in the West Wing.

______________________________________________

Rey couldn’t escape the pit in her gut. How had she been so wrong about him? She usually was a good judge of character, but she had completely missed it with him.

When she got home, she found the picture she had admired from the auction on the fireplace mantle. Resting up against it was a note, “It wasn’t what you think...please give me a chance to explain. Love, Ben”

She crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. She knew what she saw.

She had blocked his texts after the first one that night for a reason: she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She felt used and manipulated, and she refused to put herself there again.

Ahe also kept thinking her bed smelled like him, but how could that be? She washed her sheets.

She wrapped her arms around herself, just aching. He was so good at it. He made her think he cared. Maz said the eyes don’t lie...but she feels like his did.

The fireplace sitting area just made her think of him and the friendship she thought they were forging as they sat there. She thought about the progression through Australia and the weeks after they got home leading up to the gala. He seemed so sincere. Did he know the whole time Malia would be there? Was it purposeful? That seemed far-fetched, but a wounded heart does not always make for a rational mind.

She thought again about the beautiful woman she met. She understood now why Ben wouldn’t let himself fall in love again. Who could compete with that? She felt self-conscious with her slight, athletic frame after meeting her. How could she think that Ben could ever want her? She knew it was foolish to compare herself to someone, especially in regards to physical features she couldn’t do anything about. But she couldn’t stop herself...and the more she thought about it, the more the ache in her gut grew. She knew it was hopeless.

She threw herself into her work. She finally met with Luke about the meeting at Honour Camp a few weeks later. She kept things clipped and professional. They discussed seeing if there were any veteran grad students in the therapy program they could mentor to work with to pilot a program. They talked about what additional facilities they would need, whether the program would be residential or a daily, and what additional staffing they would have to look into. 

She surfed, and she stayed busy. She didn’t visit their spot. Even that was tainted now. She found it hard to pray too. 

She felt alone, like she had always been, and she thought she might as well get used to it. It seemed that would be her destiny.

_____________________________________

Luke had said she needed time and space. But how much? He was already around the world...was that far enough? 

He had no way to communicate with her. She had apparently blocked his calls and texts. If she got his emails, she ignored him. He begged Luke to give her messages, but he told her it wasn’t a good idea, and Rey wasn’t talking to him either about anything personal. She had shut everyone out. Luke said she just made herself busy. 

He didn’t know what else to do, so he hurled himself into work. He practiced and he pummeled his body harder than he ever had. And, it paid off. Not only in wins, but in exhaustion. When he was physically spent, he could drop on his bed in whatever country he was in and not think.

Mornings were the hardest, though, after the exhaustion wore off. It was when his mind was at its most alert, and it raced. Especially after nights where he had dreams about her. He constantly wondered if she was OK, and he wished he could find out. 

The relentless physical activity didn’t really do its job, though. She always lurked in the back of his mind, and it was an aching spot she took.

So he dominated in Brazil at the Oi Rio Pro Saquarema. He shredded the competition in Bali for the Corona Bali Protected Keramas and the Uluwatu CT. She was supposed to meet him in South Africa at the Corona Open J-Bay in early July, but she didn’t come. He won anyway.

He sought relief in dominating in the waves, but it didn’t fill his throbbing soul. If he was honest, it never did, but it allowed him something to throw himself into so he could try to ignore that.

On July 10th, and he was on a plane heading back to Oahu. He had been gone for two months. He hoped it was enough. He thought over and over again what to say to her, if she gave him the chance. He prayed she would, but it was hard to hope.


	18. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this up ASAP today to put you out of your misery. I hope some of y'all won't want to murder me so much after this. Enjoy!
> 
> Please share my little story with someone you think might enjoy it!

The first night he was back, he stayed at Luke’s cottage. He laughed, feeling like he was back to square one sleeping on that hide-a-bed again.

“I have never seen her like this, in the five years I have known her. She has always been kind and gracious. I think her perceived betrayal by you has tapped into the abandonment issues she has always had from her family. This hurt she’s carrying around is bigger than just what happened at the gala. He parents chose drugs over her. I think in a weird way she feels like you chose Malia over her.”

“But I didn’t! I would never...even if Malia wasn’t married...she isn’t who I want. I love Rey!” he exclaimed.

“I know son, but if you have a chance in hades here, you need to understand her mental state. She’s like a feral cat right now.”

“How am I going to get past that?”

“The only thing I can think of is to not give up on her. She feels like everyone important has walked out on her. Her parents for nefarious reasons, her friends in the military for honorable reasons...even you the last few months. Pelt her with your presence and prove to her you aren’t going anywhere...then once the abandonment simmers down, you may have the chance to tell her what you need to. She might listen then.”

So, he moved back into his room. He could hear her padding around, but he didn’t see her at first. He just stuck around the house. She would think he was gone and would come down the stairs only to turn and run back up.

We would make her tea, knowing she would come down to the kitchen once she knew he was out the door. He left flowers by her sink when she got home in the evening. He bought another painting from the artist she liked and put it in the living room. He bought a crate of PG Tips and left it on the dining room table.

Yes, Ben was a man of action. These things he could do. But if she ever broke down and let him talk to her...then he would be off the rails.

____________________________

He was wearing her down. All the little things he kept doing...he just wouldn’t stop. If anything, they were escalating. Last night when she got home, there was a beautiful new surfboard in her room, leaning up against the fireplace with a big bow on it. Almost every day there were new flowers that showed up somewhere in her room.

She thought if she ignored him he would give up. But the more she ignored him, the more his attentions increased. That Kylo-focus was all on her now, and she was starting to doubt she had the ability to shut him out permanently.

But really, what could he possibly say that could make it better?

Finally, after almost four weeks of him constantly raining gifts and notes on her, reminding her he was there, he left a note on the counter in her bathroom by the new addition of flowers.

“My sweet Rey, as you know, I am not great with words, but I am good with listening. I want to hear what happened from your point of view. I want to understand what caused your deep hurt. I have to leave tomorrow for Tahiti, but I will be back in ten days. If you are willing, please meet me at ‘the spot’ tomorrow morning at 7 am before my driver comes. Ever yours, Ben.”

She lifted her eyes to her reflection after she read it. Her head and her heart were warring. Her head said she owed it to him to talk and if he wanted, tell his side. But her heart, her heart felt like it was still hemorrhaging and still wanted to shut him out. As she drifted off to sleep, she still wasn’t sure what she would do.

When she woke early the next morning, with almost an hour to spare until the designated meeting time, she stole out to her balcony to watch the sunrise. Every day there was a chance for a new beginning. She couldn’t forget what had happened, but she was ready to move on. She was tired of the anger and the pain. Ignoring him wasn’t making it better, so maybe talking to him would.

She brushed her teeth and threw on some leggings and a loose tank top over her sports bra. She thought about what to say as she walked along, but her mind was numb. As she got closer to the dune, she saw he was already there. She wondered how long he had been there.

When his eyes turned to her, she saw they were soft and serious. She took the spot on the rock next to him. They sat in silence for a moment.

He spoke first. “Rey, as I said in my note, I struggle to often find the right words, but I want to understand. Help me see what happened.”

She gulped and tried to think about where to start. “I think the deception has worn on me over time. I started not feeling like myself.”

“I could sense over the months that you were having a hard time with that, but the night of the gala was different.”

His words were true, but how could she explain her reaction to that night without confessing what she didn’t want to? She panicked and started babbling.

“I’m not sure...I was tired, or maybe it was meeting Malia, or maybe…”

“Rey...what would Malia have to do with anything? Why would that upset you? I want to understand and make it right, but you are holding back. Let go.”

Suddenly, her temper spiked, and she lost control. “What...Kylo Ren...what do you want me to say? Huh? Does it give you pleasure to hear me say it? Fine...I’ll say it. I started to have feelings for you, OK. I know that wasn’t part of the deal...so shoot me. And, I thought you did too…”

Crap...she wasn’t supposed to cry…

“...and just when I thought maybe you did, I realized it was all for show just to make your ex jealous. I don’t want to be your plaything, Solo.”

She stopped to breathe and swallow, her throat feeling so tight she didn't know if she could continue. “Do you know how...ironic it was, meeting her that night? I have been your wife for eight months, and that woman knows you in ways I never will. And that...that was just a slap in the face. So there...now you know. I hope you are happy now. Sad little Rey, the one that no one wants...she fell in love with you. I know that wasn't the plan or what you wanted, but there it is. Thank you so much for letting me get that off my chest!”

She turned and started running down the beach, but he was faster and stronger. He caught her from behind and just held on. She bucked and struggled against him before collapsing on the sand in tears. He sat down too and just continued to hold her from behind, rocking her as she cried. After her sobs started to abate, he handed her a handkerchief and turned her sideways, tucking her into his lap and under his chin.

He held her like that for a while before he started talking. “I realized on our wedding night that I was having feelings for you. It had been happening slowly over the weeks we spent together. I was so scared. I knew you were honoring a bargain, and romance was not part of that. So I pushed it down and tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. But, in time I realized I wasn’t only attracted to you...it was love. And love as I had never experienced before.”

“When we were at Honour Camp, and I saw the ease that you related to Mike with, I wished that you could be free to find love too, even though it would break my heart. And when you were sick, I couldn’t think about anything else. If your happiness could be bought by my absence, I would walk away from this crazy agreement we have, from the land, all of it.”

He took a deep breath, “But the last few months have shown me that my absence wasn’t bringing your happiness. Rey, the night of the gala, that wasn’t for show. I had been planning for weeks to finally reveal my heart to you that night. That kiss and everything you felt with it was real, and I was planning to schlep you out to the terrace and fumble my way through a way to declare my love to you. I didn’t even know Malia was going to be there, and it was not for her benefit.”

“I wish I didn’t even have to say her name in this conversation, but since I already did, let me say one more thing. What I felt for her then was a fraction of what my heart feels for you now. And, while we were together as long as we were, she didn’t really know me...the real me. Not like you do. I love you, Ku‘uipo. I have for months now. You...just you. I’m so sorry about all of this, and that this was all left to your imagination without understanding the truth.”

“B-b-but...she is so…”

He caught her face on either side and pulled it up so she had to look in his eyes. “You...YOU are the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I can’t even remember what she looked like. Your light burns everyone else out of the stratosphere. I wish I could go back in time and change so many things. Most of all, I wish I hadn’t waited so long to tell you how I felt. If I hadn’t, you would never have come to the conclusions you came to that night. But...I was afraid. I didn’t think you felt the same, and I didn’t know what to do. But, all I really had to do was say those simple words. I love you, Rey.”

Rey just stared at him, mouth hanging open and tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t say anything. It was like there was a force cutting off her ability to speak.

“I am so sorry we are just now having this conversation, and I have to go. But, I have given you a lot to think about, and I know you. I don’t want you to say anything right now. You are going to have to think through all of this and analyze it. I get picked up here in a few minutes. I have four days before the competition starts there. I am staying at the same place we stayed for our honeymoon. If you feel the same and are willing to give this thing with us a shot, there is a ticket and transportation information on your dresser to come to meet me there tomorrow. If you aren’t ready or are never ready, that is OK. The choice is yours. I am leaving this up to you Ku‘uipo.”

He kissed her forehead and walked back up to the house. The driver was pulling in to take him to the airport.

She was in shock and couldn’t move. It was as if her feet were weighted down to the sand.

She watched the car pull away and she turned to walk back up to the dune. It wasn’t all sinking in.

He loved her? Ben loved her?

Wait...that was real?

How was that even possible? What did it all mean?

All this time...all this time he had loved her?

She felt numb again, but this time in a good way. Her brain just wasn’t functioning. He loved her!

She turned and ran up to the cottage. “LUKE! LUKE! LUUUKE!”

He ran out on the porch, a look of worry on his face.

“What...what is it Rey? Are you OK?”

“I’m...yeah...I mean...Luke, he loves me.”

Relief flooded his face. “You young people and your drama are going to be the death of me. You nearly gave me a heart attack...I thought you were being accosted. But, thank God he finally told you!”

“How long have you known?”

“I forget...March? Whenever you got back from Australia. That is when he told me. I knew long before that.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him that there are worse things in the world than falling in love with his wife.”

She teared up again. “He wants me to go to Tahiti with him.”

His voice was soft. “What do you want to do, sweetheart?”

“I...I have been falling in love with him since Christmas. I was so scared...so afraid to let myself. I thought he would leave me too. But now...now I know he loved me too...that whole time, and he wants me to be with him? I just can’t believe that.”

Luke watched her emotions swirling across her face. She was stuck in a quagmire, and he needed to throw her a rope. “You should go. Connix and I can cover here, and the new guy doesn’t start until next month.”

“Should I? Of course, I should...why wouldn’t I. Are you sure?”

He reached out and caressed her cheek. “Sweetie, if you only knew how long I have been scheming this…”

“You mean the marriage suggestion? The arrangement? This is what you had in mind all the time?”

He held his hands up, like a guy getting arrested. “Guilty as charged...are you mad?”

She shook her head. “Not even a little bit.”

He hugged her. “Welcome to the family, Rey...for real this time. Now, how fast can you pack and get to the airport?”

She was confused. “He said the ticket was for tomorrow? He said I would need time to think and analyze.”

“Do you?”

She grinned and shook her head. “Nope.”

“Then get packed quick and I’ll drive you. They can change your ticket at the airport.”

She grabbed the suitcase that he bought her threw in sundresses, swimsuits, shoes, toiletries and whatever she can think of. She knew if she forgot anything she can just get it there. She felt freer than she had ever been.

Luke drove her, just slightly over the speed limit, to the get to the airport. She ran to the counter, passport in hand, asking excitedly about changing her ticket. Luke circled the drop-off area, just in case.

She told the girl behind the desk she wanted to surprise her husband. After a few minutes of furious typing, she found she could get her on the flight leaving in an hour, and still honor her first class ticket, even seating her and Ben together. Her bag was checked and she ran to the first class lounge, texting Luke a thumbs-up emoji on the way.

As she breathlessly entered and scanned the room, she saw Ben on the far side with his back to her. There was a window in front of him, but he wasn’t looking out. He held his head is in his hands, and he was looking down, so she was able to creep up on him quietly.

“You, Ben Solo, are a liar.”

He jumped at the sound of her voice and looked up at her like he didn't believe she was really there. “Wha...what?”

“You said you weren’t good expressing yourself with words. You lied.”

His eyes twinkled, but his tone was somber. “I would never lie to you, Keoa.”

She sank down onto his lap and focused on those melting chocolate eyes she loved so much. “I know now...I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry I assumed the worst. I shouldn’t have run away.”

She leaned her head down to his chest, resting her ear over his heart that she knew now beat with echoes of her name. “I love you, Ben.”

He held her tight to his chest. He didn’t kiss her yet. He knew there would be time for that later. Right now they both needed reassurance and to soak in the knowledge that all they had felt for all these months was real. Her curled up in his lap with her head nuzzled in his neck was giving them both that. They stayed that way until boarding call.

When Rey was a little girl, she loved Winnie the Pooh. She had a threadbare copy of “The House at Pooh Corner” that she toted around in her belongings in a green plastic grocery bag when she was moved from home to home. There was an interaction between Pooh and Piglet that encapsulated what she had always wanted and craved...that someone would always be there.

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.  
"Pooh!" he whispered.  
"Yes, Piglet?"  
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”

And right here, right now...she was sure of Ben.


	19. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey Loves! I feel compelled to remind you at this point of my tags and description of this story. I am not a smut writer. My aim is to write a fluffy emotional, sexy love story. What you get here is similar to what you would get in a PG-13 movie. There are quite literally thousands of fics about this couple on AO3 that do give all of that detail if that is what you are looking for. I don't begrudge those authors from telling their story the way they choose, just as I write mine the way I choose. I believe people have to be true to who they are and their story. I encourage other writers to that end on a regular basis, even when their point of view is quite different from mine. 
> 
> So, with that being said, welcome to chapter 19 of MY story! It's a nice, long one, and we will wrap this all up tomorrow with chapters 20 & 21\. I hope you like it! As always, mahalo for reading! <3

When they landed in Tahiti, Ben said they had four days until opening ceremonies. She was hungry, so they changed and went to the restaurant at the resort, where they had eaten on their last night the last time they were here.

They walked back to the room hand in hand.

Once they were inside, he spun her around and cupped her face, finally bringing his lips down to meet hers softly. He deepened it quickly, opening his mouth and licking across her lips, asking for access. She moaned and let him in. She never knew it could FEEL like this. Sensations were radiating down from where his lips touched all the way down to her toes. 

Ben broke the kiss and just held her face there with their foreheads touching. He started murmuring to her, “Rey, I want you in the worst way, but I think you need time...we need time. I just told you I love you today. We need the chance to be together in a relationship for real. I don’t think you are ready to jump into this yet. We...we don’t have to do anything more than this now.”

“I...I want to be with you like that...so much, but you are right, I probably need time. This part for us is so new." She knew there was wisdom in what he was saying. "Tonight...could we fall asleep with you holding me, like when I was sick in Australia?”

“We can take as much time as you need...we have a lifetime together, Rey. There is no rush. I’m not going anywhere.”

He sent her to the bathroom to change. She quickly changed into her cami and shorts. She finished getting ready for bed, washing her face and brushing her teeth. When she came out, Kylo was already in his sleeping shorts and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth. She stood at the sliding door and watched the moon dance over the water. She startled a bit when he came to her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling her neck and shoulder with his lips.

“Come to bed, E Ku'u Aloha.” His voice was so deep it reverberated across her skin and through her body.

She grinned as she turned, “What does that one mean?

He drew her closer, his cheek right up against hers. “It means, ‘my love.’”

“I love it when you call me names in Hawaiian, even though I don’t know what you are saying. What are the other words you say to me.”

“Mmm...let me think. There’s nohea, which means ‘beautiful’” he kissed her shoulder.

“...ku‘uipo is ‘sweetheart’…” he kissed her other shoulder.

“...mea aloha is ‘loved one’…” his lips slid up to the side of her neck.

“...ke aloha is ‘beloved’…” now he was nibbling at the sensitive area just under her ear.”

“…and na'u `oe…” he trailed off...his lips working across her jaw.

“What does it mean?” she squeaked.

He smiled down at her in that crooked way he had. “It means ‘you’re mine.’ Are you ready for bed, Mrs. Solo?”

“Yes, Mr. Solo. I’m actually really tired...it’s been quite a day.”

When they laid down, he drew her close and held her. Not because anyone was watching. Not because he needed an excuse like to keep her warm through a fever.

Laying in Ben Solo’s arms felt like coming home, and she had never felt more secure. 

_______________________________

The competition was just 2 days away. They fell into a routine of her relaxing and working on plans while he practiced during the day, then dinner together and quiet time in the evening. It was so different from their last trip where they stayed out of the room keeping busy all the time. Now they were trying to spend time alone together.

Rey found a premarital counseling guide online and got the idea that the kinds of questions it asked would help them to know the things they need to know about each other. 

So, they decided to work on the counseling guide over the next month, waiting until they were done with that before they moved to intimacy. It was in Rey’s counseling wheelhouse, and he was willing to go along with what she felt comfortable with. Besides, he had another competition in California that she couldn’t go to, but he would be home September 15th. This way they had things in their relationship they could work on, and also something to look forward to when he got home. 

Not that there weren’t makeout sessions that made Rey want to fling that guide out the window. But she knew in the long-run, a better foundation emotionally will serve them well before things got too physical.

So they wait.

__________________________________

“Do you have a criminal record?”

“Mmmm...no, I think my mom had it expunged.”

“Really?” She tried to keep the alarm out of her voice.

“Well, I was sixteen, so there’s that.”

“What for?”

“I got in a fight at school, and the other parents pressed charges. It wasn’t a fair fight...I was twice the kid’s size. But, I was a stupid teenager. And, he hounded me for months, trying to pick a fight. You would be surprised how many little guys almost bullied me, trying to pick a fight with me just because of my size. He picked on the wrong day, and I let him have it. Looking back, I’m surprised it didn’t happen more.”

“The Napoleon complex is alive and well. It’s a common reaction in men.”

He chuckled. “Yeah--it still happens now, I just ignore it. I scared you for a minute there, didn't I? How about you...any record I need to know about?”

“No, nothing official, but I did steal some food once when I was ten. I had a horrible foster home at the time, and I was so hungry. But then I felt guilty and it made my stomach hurt after I ate it.”

Ben’s jaw tensed. “Was that common? Bad foster parents?”

“About half and half. People get paid to do it, so some are just in it for the money. But there are good people that truly care. I had good ones early on, then at 10, I was in and out of some that were not great. The last one, Plutt, basically used us for slave labor at his salvage yard and mechanic shop. I left as soon as I turned eighteen.

She was so matter of fact about it, but the idea of someone treating his girl badly brought a rage to him that scared him a little. He worked to steady his breathing and control his thoughts. He squeezed her hand he was holding tight.

“I’m sorry you went through that. I wish I knew you then and could have taken you away from it.”

She snuggled closer to him. “Me too. But going through all of that is what made me who I am today, and I am grateful the God is able to take things that are painful and use them to let me make a difference for other people. It was hard at the time...but I’m OK now. Sometimes it all comes back to bite me...like the struggle with abandonment.”

He pulled her to him to kiss her forehead, then rested his against her there.

“I will never, ever go anywhere. You are stuck with me, Rey Solo, for better or for worse. And if we have kids, they are stuck with me too.”

They just stayed there, leaning into each other. “Maybe now would be a good time to talk about kids?” 

He pulled back and looked her in the eye. “Kids?”

“Yeah...like do you want them, if so how many…”

“Honestly, being an only child and only kid in my family, I haven’t been around many children. They are cute, but often annoying on planes which is when I usually see them. But little Ben-Rey’s walking around, I could get into that.”

She giggled. “Shall that be what we call them? Ben-Rey? And Rey-Ben?”

The chuckled but then the expression on his face grew serious. “I want kids with you. I want a family with you.”

“How many?”

“Two? I didn’t like being an only child, but I don’t know about having a whole mess of them.”

“I’ve always wanted two. I think two is good. Now...how soon?”

“Well, that is tricky, right? I’m not getting any younger, but I’d like to have you all to myself for a while before I have to share you.”

“So a few years?”

“Three to five?” he offered.

“Deal.”

Two days later he won the Tahiti Pro Teahupoo and they headed home.

________________________________

They sat on the loveseat in front of the fireplace in her room. She read questions from her iPad while he massaged her feet. 

“So...the topic tonight is money.”

“OK...what about it.”

“First question. Would you say you are a saver or a spender?”

“I would say both? I live fairly simply and save a lot, but when I do spend money, I like it to be on nice things so I spend a lot.”

She snorted, “Like fancy hotels you can only access with a helicopter? First class flights?”

He turned to her with a pouty look. “What’s wrong with those things?”

She smiled and poked at his bottom lip with her finger. “Nothing, if you can afford it, which I’m assuming you can. I just don’t understand what you have and what is reasonable. Money has never been plentiful in my life, so it’s hard to get a gauge on what is excessive for you.”

He nodded, thinking. “My lawyer actually read me the riot act for not having you sign a prenup.”

She raised an eyebrow. “A prenup? Why would that be necessary? Isn’t that is what celebrities do?”

“It’s something people with money do, Rey. And I have money...a lot of it.”

The topic was uncomfortable for him, but he knew she needed to know, and that was the point of the questions and this time they were taking. He could see she looked confused, so he continued.

“Rey, this property alone was valued at $200 million dollars when I signed the deed. I have about $50 million in other assets, then about $10 million in investments and accounts that could accessible as cash if needed. That doesn’t take into account the money in the foundation I co-fund with my surf winnings.”

Her mouth dropped. She couldn’t wrap her brain around what he just said.

“So when you consider all of that, I’m a relative saver, even if when I spend it seems excessive to you.”

She shook her head and said weakly, “I have $5,000 I was saving as my nest egg and $500 in my checking account. I’m still paying off my student loans, and then I was going to save up for a new car. I don’t have any other debt.”

He rubbed her feet again. “I don’t care about the money, Rey. As long as I have you, I’d live in a studio apartment. But the fact is...I do...you do, because what is mine is yours now.” He paused, like he thought of something, but then shook his head and kept rubbing.

She looked back at the list and giggled. “Well, I think in light of our conversation, the other questions are irrelevant.”

She chewed on her nail a bit as she pondered. “It will be weird, Ben--to not worry about money. My whole life there was none or just barely enough. I don’t know what to think about it being there now.”

“Money can be a burden too, but there is a security that comes from knowing we'll always have a home and won’t want for anything. I can keep you safe and provide for you. But, it doesn’t fix everything. Just try not to think too much about it. I don’t.”

She looked off and seemed lost in thought before she asked, “What does your foundation do?”

“Huh...oh. Yeah...the Skywalker foundation mostly supports Make A Wish. It’s a mutual effort between me, my grandparent’s estate, and my parents. We support the work you and Luke do here, and we have been thinking about diversifying our efforts into a certain veteran cause I know about…”

“You do? You are? I didn’t know that! And Ben, that would be amazing!”

“Probably not until next year, but we can talk more about it.

She nodded, excitement building in her chest.

“So, what kind of car were you going to save up for?”

“What? Oh...um...something practical...probably a Honda or Toyota sedan.”

“What if you weren’t being practical?”

She thought for a minute. “When I worked at the salvage yard, I always liked to collect the Mercedes symbols off what we brought in. I saw a lady in a store parking in a red convertible one, one time and I thought it was so pretty.”

“Hmmph. I need to get a car. I haven’t owned one for a while because I travel so much, but I need one. Probably a jeep--it’s practical for island life.”

They sat in a comfortable silence. Ben stopped rubbing her feet and sighed.

“Hey, Ku‘uipo. I want to honor the commitment that we have made. But to do that, I need to sleep in the other room. I...for guys it’s different....it’s difficult. I’m sorry. I hope you understand.”

She sat up and leaned over to kiss him passionately. “I understand. Why did we do that again?”

“Ummm...there was a good reason, but if you keep kissing me like that, I’m going to forget all about it.”

She whimpered. 

“It’s only two weeks, my love, and I will be gone for most of it. We can make it. I want to wait, but to do that I need to go.”

She sighed. “I know it is for the best, even if I can’t remember why right now. You better get out of here.”

_________________________________

Five days later, it was the night before he left for California. They saved this conversation for right before he left. It was a hard one.

“What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?”

“I assume you are looking for more here than to have it and often?”

“Maybe. Define often?”

He smirks. “Three times a day?”

She shook her head at him and giggled, “See...I don’t even know if that is possible?”

“Oh...it’s possible…a guy can wish, anyway...”

“I have nothing but clinical data on this topic. The average couple has sex six times per month. I’m guessing from your comments you don’t think that isn’t very often?”

“Uh...no.”

“OK...this is one of those things we will just have to feel out when the time comes. How about this question. Do you at all question our sexual compatibility?”

His furrowed his brow. “Seriously? That is one of the questions?”

She turned the iPad around and pointed.

“OK...I know we don’t want to mention that other person’s name, but it’s important that you know there wasn’t anyone else. I had a serious commitment to her. To me, the compatibility is about our relationship first, not sex. Making love is a natural flow out of a good relationship. Worrying about compatibility isn’t even something I am thinking about. I am insanely attracted to you...all of you. The rest will follow.”

“But what if…” she blushed furiously. “What if...I mean...you know how and...how can I possibly please you? I don’t know what I’m doing, and you have all the experience…”

“Rey...that was a lifetime ago. I assure you when I am with you, no one else even exists. This isn’t about performance...it is about being with the person you love. And I love you. I don’t want you to worry anymore about this. I wish I came into this without that baggage, and that there was only you. But I can’t undo what is done. I assure you, though, that you think about my past more than I do. I only think about what is to come. Now, it’s getting late, and I have an early morning flight. Is there anything else on this topic we need to talk about?”

“It asks a question about birth control, but I’ve been on the pill for years. Irregular periods are a side effect of poor nutrition early in life, so I’ve been on them since I was 18.”

“OK...good to know and one less thing to think about. Anything else?”

Again, she blushed. “Kind of...but I’m not sure how to...I mean, it’s kind of related to the compatibility topic. Gosh...this is embarrassing.”

“Rey...you can ask me anything. What is it?”

“Well...you...you are a big guy. Huge, really. I am assuming it’s all over. And if not, that is fine. But if it is...if you are, and clearly I am not...I mean, how will that even work?”

Now he was blushing. He took her hand and laced their fingers together. “How does this work? My fingers are bigger...how do they fit together like this entwined with yours?”

“Just really, really well.” She whispered. 

“It just works, Rey...it just does.”

___________________________________

He Facetimed her from Lemoore, Ca.

“So is that close at all to your parents’ home?”

“No. It’s the craziest thing...it's not even at a beach. It’s a huge surf pool facility that Kelly Slater built in the middle of central California, which is an agricultural area. There are cows and fields all around it...and it’s blazing hot.”

“Surf pool? What is that?”

“It’s a huge tank that has wave machines built-in. It sounds like something at an amusement park, but these are serious waves. It’s really interesting too because you can control the intensity, height...all of it. I keep thinking something like this might be good for you guys to use with the therapy.”

He saw her eyes light up. “Oooh...that is interesting!”

He laughed at himself and what happened to his insides when she looked like that. 

“OK, Neoa. Enough surf talk. What is our topic for tonight?”

She sighed. “Family.”

“OK...what do you have for me.”

“I really feel like this one is unfair for you. Most of these questions don’t apply to me. I’m sorry.”

“Nope...it’s good. We committed to doing them all. Shoot.”

“Well, what do you like and dislike about your parent’s marriage?”

His eyebrows shot up and he exhaled. “Wow...going for the jugular, huh? OK. Well, I’ll start with the positive. I like that I never questioned if my parents loved each other. I always knew that--sometimes disgustingly so. I also love how now the place they are at where there is such a comfortable ease with each other. It wasn’t always like that. What I don’t like is how much they fought. Most of it was my fault. It was usually about me when I was in my difficult years. But not all of it. They would really go at it. I also don’t like how Mom strong-armed Dad into things. There has never been a lot of compromise on Leia Organa-Solo’s part. Dad loved her, so he let her, but I want more of a partnership. I want to decide things together.”

“Huh...I wouldn’t guess that of them know. But, your mom is definitely an assertive woman.”

“Yeah...the years have tamed them. It’s a good thing. Anything else?”

“Well, a lot of them I know already. The only other one I wanted to ask is, what family values do you bring into this marriage?”

“That is a great question. Well, I think that my family never gives up on each other. We don’t always make the best decisions, but regardless, we are steadfast. We believe no one is ever too far gone. Also, laughter is a big part of us. We like to have fun together. And lastly, I would say generosity. Mom learned it from Meme and Papa, and they taught it to me. They are generous with those they love, but also to give back. That is important to us to support causes we care about. What about you? I know you may not necessarily have your values from your family, but what are yours?”

“Mmm...good question. Gratitude. That is important. One of my earliest foster moms taught me that life isn’t always good, but there is always something to be grateful for. She encouraged me to find the blessings no matter what. It was very wise of her to prepare me that way, with her not being able to know where I would end up. Also, faith. I have to believe that we aren’t an accident and that there is Someone up there that has a plan and design for us. I believe He brought me you. And, last, the desire to make a difference. I live for those moments when one of our patients gets it, when what we are trying to help them learn finally makes sense. And when I know that thing is something that can make an impact on their life, that fills my cup.”

“I love you so much, Rey Solo. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, and I don’t deserve you.”

“And I love you, Ben Solo. You are my home.”

_____________________________________

It was September 14th. Tomorrow Ben would come home. She was so excited she just couldn't stand it. And, she was nervous. Who would have thought just over nine months ago that they would fall in love, and that now they were going to live as husband and wife...for real...with all that means.

Who knew?

Well, Luke knew, but she wasn’t going to squeal to him about it and hear his smug I-knew-it-would-happen-from-the-beginning response.

His flight would land in the morning, so today she was running around. She washed her sheets, got a pedicure, and got her legs waxed. She also just MIGHT have dropped by a lingerie shop and found one or two pretty things that didn’t feel too...well...just too.

After dinner, she took a long, relaxing bath. She was dressed for bed and reading in her room when she got a text from Ben. He told her that he had a surprise for her, and he had Luke leave it for her on their dune.

Giggling like a teenager, she ran down the stairs and out onto the beach. The sun was getting ready to set, so there was light, but it was dimmed. When she came around the bend and could see the dune, she saw what looked like a bunch of little lights on it. As she got closer, she saw they were candles lining the path up to the top. When she was halfway up, she realized that seemingly out of nowhere, he appeared.

Her breath caught and her eyes filled with tears. “Wha...you...you are here. You are really here!”

She ran and buried her face in his chest, the scent of him filling her senses.

His arms wrapped around her and held her tight. “Yeah...I got an earlier flight. I couldn’t stay away any longer.”

“Oh...I missed you! So much.”

He bent down to kiss the top of her head. She loved it when he did that.

“I missed you too, Ku‘uipo.”

“How did you get here?”

“Well...I didn’t lie. I was the surprise, and I had Luke drop me off.”

He rubbed her arms, but then braced them and pushed her away a bit. 

“I really want to kiss you, but I’m afraid once I do I won’t be able to stop, and there is something important I need to do first.”

“Ben...what is it?”

“Rey...this has probably been one of the most backward relationships in the history of love stories. To start with a marriage, then fall in love but not be able to live it, then be separated, then to confess our love to each other...and leave intimacy for last. It’s just not the usual order people take. But it’s ours, so it’s perfect and beautiful. But I realized in all of that, you never got your moment.”

“My moment?”

“Yeah...your moment. That moment that catches you off guard, when the man that loves you tries as best as he can with the words he has to tell you how much he loves you. I think in some ways, I fell in love with you a bit that first day I met you. When you smiled, you took my breath away. I had never seen anything so lovely, and pure, and radiant. You were willing to agree to a crazy plan to help everyone else, and you did it even when it brought you pain. And that you, my sweet girl, were willing to sacrifice yourself like that, even when your own heart was getting bruised in the process...that you gave me a chance and fell in love with me...I am starting to believe that someone upstairs does care about me if He deemed me worthy of you.”

“So Rey Solo…”

He fiddled around in his pocket.

“...what I want to know…”

He got down on one knee.

“...is if you would choose to marry me again?”

He held open a box with a ring catching the fading light. It was a band that matched the band on her ring from Meme. But just the band...meant to wear with the other ring or alone. Tears streamed down her faced.

“I don’t mean to go through another wedding--unless you want to. I just mean I want you to know, regardless of how we got here, that I want to ask you. And in spite of it all...because of it all….I would do it all over again. Maybe that is what I want to know...would you do it all over again? With me?”

She reached down and ran her hands through his hair. “Yes, Ben...yes.”

Then he finally got that kiss.

He slipped the ring on her finger. It was perfect with her other ring.

Then he picked her up in a bridal carry hold and walked back up to the house. He kicked the front door closed and walked up the stairs. He didn’t stop until he got to her room...their room...where he gently set her down.

She whispered to him, “I had gotten something special to wear the first time…and you caught me in just my PJs.”

“Just save it...I don’t need anything else tonight. Just you.”

She looked up into his eyes. “I’m nervous.” She admitted.

He reached up and smoothed a strand of hair off her forehead. “Me too. But, we’re in this together. And you are everything to me, Ke Aloha. I just want to be with you.”

Then he kissed her, and it was brimming with everything they would push down before, except now they didn’t. She sighed, and as their clothes fell to the floor, she realized the nerves she felt fell with them. When she stood before him, finally, as a wife should, it was just so right that all anxiety was chased away.

It was just the two of them.

Just them.

For reals.

Forever.

__________________________

The next morning, Rey woke up first. She had never woken up naked before. And she certainly hadn’t woken up naked with a man’s hand where Ben’s was currently resting just south of her shoulder. She was on her back, and he was rolled over on his side with his arm flung across her chest.

But nothing had ever felt so right.

She reached over and brushed his long dark locks off his face. He stirred a little but resisted, like his eyes under his eyelids were trying to reject the call of the morning light.

He grunted and wrapped his arms around her to draw her closer.

“How are you doing?” he whispered in her ear.

“I can quite honestly say that I have never, ever been better.”

“Are you...sore?”

“Not really...you were right. It just works.”

“Kea Aloha, I feel drunk on you. Now that I’ve finally got you here, we don’t need to leave this bed for any reason, do we?”

“Mmm...to pee? Eat? Just a few things. I have the day off...so no work.”

He cracked open an eye and peered out at her. “Do we need to do any of these things right now?”

She just shook her head.

“Good,” he said, and before she knew it, he had grabbed her torso and hefted her up to lay on top of him. “Because I had other plans,”

“You do...and just what might that be?”

“Well, from our discussion on this topic, I figure I get three wishes today…”

“Three wishes?”

“Yup...so I’m going to use that first one here in just a minute…” he kissed her and wrapped his arms tighter around her and...OH...she could feel that he meant that.

“Then I’m thinking we could break-in that bathtub I’ve been wanting to get you in for a few months now…” he kissed her again, and she was whimpering now.

“And for my last wish...I thought you could show me that surprise you got me over there on the rug in front of the fireplace.”

She just leaned in to meet his lips in response. How was this her life? How had she gone from lonely Rey to this married woman with her hot husband writhing underneath her, acting like she hung the moon? 

It was bliss. What a delicious way to wake up.


	20. France - part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Paris and just recently got to go after it was a life-long bucket list destination for me. Enjoy our foray into the romantic city of pink light!

France - part 1

Just a five days after he got home, they sat in the Honolulu airport, waiting for their flight to Paris. She was so excited that it almost made her forget about the 24 hours of travel it would take to get there.

She turned to look at him, joy brimming out of her eyes. “I’m going to Paris.”

He smiled and pulled her close. “You are going to Paris.”

___________________________________

She was exhausted but running on adrenaline when they landed. Like a kid on Christmas morning, she can’t wait for the surprises she knows he arranged for them. Ben never does anything halfway, and she is learning to love that. She never knows what he has up his sleeve.

She heard him tell the driver to take them to the Shangri-la hotel. When they pulled-up, it is all the white beaux-arts architecture she expected. They are ushered to what the staff member said is “La Suite Gustave Eiffel.” 

When the door opened, she stepped into a serene room decorated in creams and robin’s egg blue. Directly across from the door, the curtains are pulled back to reveal a wall of windows, French doors, and a large balcony. And, right there is the tower itself. Later she will see the living room and lovely bedroom, and explore the luxurious marble bathroom, but all she could do at the moment is walk to the balcony in a trance and drink in the view. Once she is out there, she realized the room is on a corner and the whole view is stunningly panoramic.

She was so caught up in it all, she jumped when he came up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist. “Welcome to Paris, Ku‘uipo. What do you want to do first?”

Her voice was breathless. “I...I don’t even know where to start.”

He looked to the side and saw a large outdoor couch with an ottoman in front. He gently guided her there and curled her up to his side once they are seated. “This is a pretty good start, I think.”

___________________________________

She woke with a start, realizing she was laying down on a bed. She couldn’t remember how she got there. The French doors leading to the terrace were open, and she heard noises out there.

She stumbled over and saw Ben standing by a table. A waiter set plates of food down and then lit the candles in the middle of the table. It was twilight time so the tower was starting to light up.

He looked up and saw her there, and came to get her. “C’mon, Neoa. It’s time to eat. I was just coming in to get you up.”

He helped her sit in one of the chairs and her attention turned to the table. Steak, pommes frites, and asparagus were waiting there.

“Wait...what time is it? I can’t even remember the last thing I ate and when.”

He smiled, “I know...we are going to be a bit messed up for a few days. It’s 7 pm here. I think we last ate about 10 hours ago. You just took a two-hour nap.”

“I don’t even remember falling asleep. The last thing I remember, we were cuddled on that couch looking at the tower.”

“Yeah...you lasted about five minutes doing that. After fifteen minutes I just carried you to the bed. It gave me the chance to look over some things. I have made arrangements for an after-hours tour at the Louvre tomorrow night, and have Eiffel Tower reservations the next night. I thought we could do Versailles Tuesday...it won’t be as busy as on the weekend. Then there’s Notre-Dame, Sainte-Chapelle, Musée d'Orsay…”

“I’m sorry if I made us lose a day.”

“What? No...we couldn’t have done much today anyhow. Besides, we have two weeks until I need to report to Nouvelle-Aquitaine for the competition. We can take our time and make adjustments where we need to. I want you to see everything you want to see. I’m kind of thinking of this as the honeymoon we get to enjoy...fully.”

She raised her eyebrows a bit, which was rewarded by his crooked smile she loved so much.

“Well...that too, but there is a lot here I know you want to do too. So...yeah...after dinner, I thought we could go for a walk. There are lots of shops and restaurants still open. I thought maybe we could find some dessert and research places we want to try another day?”

“That sounds great. I still can’t believe we are here.”

He reached across and grabbed her hand. “I can’t believe I am here with you. Paris is a wonderful city with so much to see, but it is one of the most romantic places in the world. I’ve always come alone, or with my parents when I was younger. I am excited to get to be here again, but with you.”

They finished and strolled around the neighborhood, finding a café with dessert crepes. The hotel was very central, so he gave her a lay of the land with the general direction of some of the places they would go. They even found a Seine River cruise getting ready to leave, so he grabbed them tickets for the 10 pm ride. She oohed and ahhed over the tower, Notre Dame, and all the amazing landmarks that were lit up at night like jewels.

When they finally got back, she wanted to go back out to the balcony. He had suggested they both take Benadryl to help them fall asleep and let their bodies adjust to the new time zone, but they had about an hour until it kicked in.

He grabbed a blanket from the room, and they cozied back up on the balcony couch. The ottoman ran the whole length of the couch, so the seating space was quite large.

“It’s too bad the temperature will drop tonight. This is as big as a bed...we could sleep out here.” He looked over at her. “Maybe we will have to come back in the summer sometime and try that.”

She nodded and ran her hand up into his hair. “You are so good to me.”

His eyes stilled on her lips. “I’d like to be even better.”

“Yeah?” was all she got out before his lips crashed into hers.

Oh, after the long hours of traveling, and walking in this city...this is was all she wanted. Her nap must have been just enough because now her body was awake and alert to his every move.

He broke away, dragging his lips to the vicinity of her ear, where his husky voice whispered, “You know...it’s not that cold yet.”

She squeaked, “Here? Outside? What if someone sees us?”

He laughed. “Rey, look around. The terrace is private...as in, no one can see in. Only we can see out.”

She looked around and realized that between the awning over them and walls on the sides with wandering vines growing on them, he was right.

“Plus, I think that making love to your husband under the stars, in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower on your first night in Paris sounds like a fantastic way to start your romantic adventure in France…don’t you?” He hovered over her to bend down to kiss her neck as he spanned her torso with his hand.

Stars, the feelings he brought out in her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and managed to respond, “Oui…”

______________________

Rey felt like there was no stone in Paris they left unturned. The after-hours tour of the Louvre was exquisite. To be able to have the up-close access to so many amazing works of art, and be able the ask the tour guide anything was a gift. The Eiffel Tower experience was actually a trip to the summit and then a sumptuous dinner at 58 Tour Eiffel restaurant. She could hardly eat and focus on the food with the amazing views of the city at dusk and night. 

He took her shopping on the Champs Élysées. She wasn’t interested in getting much, but he talked her into a few things. He said a girl needed a few fashionable souvenirs from Paris. A pair of Louboutin heels and a little black Chanel dress were requisite purchases according to Ben. She found a little boutique called Sézane that she loved and was more affordable, so she let him indulge her more there.

She walked in awe through the hallowed halls of Notre-Dame, admiring the breathtaking architecture. She gazed in adoration at the walls of stained glass that made up Sainte-Chapelle. They ate in the finest restaurants, and they gorged on fresh croissants from the bakery down the street. She resolved to try a macaron where ever she found them so she could declare who had the best.

She fell in love with the impressionist painters, especially Monet. She learned that you could visit his estate and begged to go there as they made there way South.

Versailles was lovely and ornate but crowded. She was glad they went so she could say she did, but it wasn’t her favorite thing.

On their last night in the city, after nine glorious days exploring it, he had her dress-up in the Chanel dress and Louboutin heels, along with the La Perla lingerie he surprised her with. The evening was chilly, so she also added the black Burberry trench he insisted on (after all, he said, a British girl should have something from the biggest British design house) and they made their way to an early dinner at Le Cinq. It wasn’t too far from their hotel, so they strolled there hand in hand. 

“So, what was your favorite thing this week?”

All the experiences they had ran through her mind. How could she pick?

“I really can’t pick. Paris had a lot to live up to, as long as I have wanted to come. And she did it... in spades...she really did. I can’t imagine it being any better.”

“Well...I hope you enjoy tonight. I have a surprise for you after dinner.”

“What...no! Ben...you have spoiled me too much already. It has been perfect.”

He smiled down at her, drawing her hand up to his mouth to kiss her knuckles. “It really has been, hasn’t it?”

She just nodded, her heart in her eyes.

“If you keep looking at me like that, Mrs. Solo, I might just chuck it all and just drag you back to the hotel to ravage you.”

She didn’t flinch or change a thing. “Would that be so terrible?”

He groaned. “Stop it, woman, I have plans. I won’t let you seduce me away from them. Plans first, ravaging later.”

“Do you promise?”

“I do. And if I had any inkling of welching on that promise, all I have to do is imagine you in that lingerie I bought you….”

She raised an eyebrow and gave him a devilish grin. “I do look pretty hot in it.”

He stopped, then groaned as he kissed her soundly. “Are you trying to kill me?” He asked breathlessly when their lips parted. 

“Nope. Sorry...I’m just giddy. Paris seems to do that to me.”

He started walking again with her tucked under his arm at his side. “Maybe we should look into moving here…”

_________________________________

The restaurant was lovely, and even if she wasn’t sure of all that she was eating, it was delicious. A car picked them up out front afterward and whisked them away. They finally stopped in front of the Palais Garnier Opera House.

“What are we doing here?”

“We, my dear, are going to the opera. Have you ever seen La Bohème?”

Her eyes got big. “Truly? I’ve never been. I like Puccini’s music, though.”

“Well..I think you are going to love it. C’mon.”

She did love it. The music was incredible, and the landmark was so lovely inside it felt like a dream. Ben had gotten them box seats. She felt like a princess.

_______________________________

On the way home, he had the driver stop near a bridge, but it wasn’t close to their hotel yet. He pulled her hand and led her out of the car.

“What is this? What are we doing?”

He pulled something out of his pocket. “This is the famous love bridge. It is where people add locks to the bridge, and then throw the keys in the river.”

“Oh...I thought they got rid of that.”

“No - they just cleared it off, but you can add them again.” He handed her a brass lock and a Sharpie. “You are supposed to write something on it first.”

She thought about it for a minute, coming up blank. “What should we write?”

“We could just do our names and the date, or something special to us? What do you think?”

“I think Rey and Ben on one side with the date, and then Koa & Keoa on the other side?”

“I love it...do it.”

She quickly wrote on the lock, then he helped her find a spot to lock it on where they thought they could come back later and find it.

“There are two keys...should we each throw one?”

“Yes...I like that!” she exclaimed.

“Ok...on the count of three. One….two...three!”

They threw them and heard two satisfying plops in the water. He turned to her and cradled her head in his hands. “You have about as much chance of losing me as someone finding the both of the right keys in that river and matching them to the right lock. You are locked to me, Rey Solo. You will never be alone.”

“Neither will you.”

He kissed her, pushing out all the love in his heart through the bond of their lips. Finally, he broke away and tugged her back towards the waiting car. “C’mon...I remember something about ravaging you in your hot in your new lingerie….”


	21. France - part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost done! The things they do in this chapter were some of my favorite parts of visiting France. I hope you enjoy!

The next day a van came to drive them to Normandy. On the way down, they stopped by Monet’s house as he promised.

“So…” Ben explained, “...Monet was the rare artist that was actually was successful while alive. The starving artist thing was no joke—most of them were. This property was pretty extravagant for his day.”

“It’s so beautiful!” she exclaimed. “You can really see where he got his inspiration.”

The gardens were abundant and alive with color. But, her favorite part was the pond out back that inspired his bridge paintings. She could see why so many of his works came from the beautiful and almost magical setting.

They arrived in the cute town of Bayeux a bit before dinner. The hotel was an old manor that had been turned into a boutique hotel. They dropped off their bags and strolled down the quaint street of shops and restaurants. In Paris, many people had spoken English. But here in this small town, they weren’t quite so lucky. Ordering their dinner was an interesting experience that brought a lot of laughter.

The next morning, their tour guide met them in the hotel lobby. 

“Bonjour!” she reached out to greet them both with a kiss on both cheeks. “I am Sabine. We will spend a lot of time together over the next two days, no?”

Rey felt like she was going to burst from excitement. “Sabine--it is so nice to meet you. I can’t believe we are really here?”

“Oui, Madame. If you want to come with me and take a seat, I can show you the research I have done on your great-grandfather.”

The air sucked out of her lungs. “My...my what?”

“Oh non...excusez moi...it was a surprise?”

Ben just nodded, his eyes on Rey.

“So, Madame. I know his name was Raymond Edward Jakku, ce n’est pas? More common names are harder to find, but the uniqueness of his last name made it easier.”

Rey nodded, eyes big.

“Here he is...he was a paratrooper in the 1st Airborne Division of the British Army. Your arrière grand père was one of the heroes that saved France. If not for him, I would be speaking German today.”

She held out a print of a grainy photo to her. The man in the picture looked to be about 20 years old. His expression was serious, and he was in his army uniform with his hat set on an angle on his head. It was black and white, so she couldn’t see anything about his coloring, but his wavy locks reminded her of her own, and she was convinced if it was in color, his eyes would be hazel. She clutched the picture to her chest and looked at her husband, her gratitude spilling out of her eyes. 

“This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. You gave me a piece of my family back to me. Thank you, Ben.”

She buried her face in his chest and sobbed, and he unapologetically held her as long as she needed until the tears receded and her bittersweet joy was spent.

When she came to and realized the older French woman was patiently waiting, she gushed, “Oh! Sabine! I am so sorry. You see...I was orphaned at five and haven’t known much of my family, let alone seen pictures. I knew he was in the war, but that is all. You have given me such a gift today.

Sabine reached out to hug her. “Do not apologize, mon cheri. I will do my best to show you today what an amazing man he was and what he did for my country. My father was ten when the Nazis invaded this area. He well remembers the English and American heroes that came to save France. I am grateful for what your family has done for mine. Now...are you ready? We have much to see.”

_________________________________

That night at the hotel, Rey was exhausted. Just plain emotionally drained. She really wanted to be with Ben and express to him how much she loved what he did for her today, but she was just wrecked.

They were just cuddling on the couch in their room together in front of the fireplace, processing all that they had seen and heard that day.

The deep timbre of his voice vibrated against her back whenever he thought of something to comment on.

“Those men...I still can’t get over how young they all were. I mean, think about what 18-year-old boys are like today. They just have...just have no idea.”

And, “Isn’t that amazing that D-day was the only like their 4th or 5th jump, and they had never done that in a war before? It was just a brilliant plan...crazy...but brilliant.”

She could only nod as she stared into the fire. Finally, she spoke.

“I just keep thinking about all those markers at the cemetery. And, that if great-grandfather had been one of them, I wouldn’t be here.”

He nuzzled the back of her head. “Well, I and all of France are grateful for him NOT dying that day. I’m sure he was to do so much good here by surviving. I keep thinking about the bravery of those men, just storming the beach and dropping out of the air, with no idea what would happen. The valor of all of them is just mind-boggling.”

Then he leaned over and scooped her up. “C’mon, Ke Aloha. You need to sleep. We hit it again tomorrow.”

She was asleep in his arms before he even laid her down.

____________________________________

On their last night in Normandy, before they head down to Nouvelle Aquitaine, he surprised her with an announcement over dinner.

“I think I am going to retire at the end of the season.”

Her head whipped up. “What? Ben...no. You love surfing!”

“I do...but I don’t love competing anymore. I’ve lost my appetite for it. I have other things in my life now that I enjoy more” he said as he reached out and kissed her hand.

“Are you certain? I don’t want you to regret this later. Please don’t go this way because of me.”

“I have never been more certain in my life. It became clear to me in California. Before, pro surfing was really all I had. Then, when you came along, it was an outlet for all the crazy unrequited love that got us here. But now, now my passion for it has waned. I’d like to go out on top...I’m done. It would just be something to keep me from you and home now.”

“So you are saying the Billabong tournament on the North Shore will be it?”

“Yup. That will be it. If I wasn’t so stubborn to finish what I started, I would just stop now. But I’m not wired that way.”

She nodded, knowing full well that was true.

“Also, I have been thinking more and more about the veteran therapy program you want to start. I want to be involved. I have felt that for months now, but being here in this inspiring place of sacrifice...I know that is what we are meant to do. You talk about purpose...I think that is ours.”

We. He said we. No longer were their lives on two parallel tracks. They were going to do this together. They were going to be a we.

She slid off her chair, and not caring who was watching, crawled onto his lap. She took his face in her hands and looked right into his eyes. “I think you, Ben Solo, are the most amazing person I have ever met. I can’t believe that I get to do life with you. I love you with everything I am. You are mine...and I am yours...and I couldn’t be more blessed.”

She kissed him freely and unbothered by what anyone else thought.

She heard a voice at the table next to them say in a thick accent, “Ahh….young love. Si Beau!” 

________________________________________

Even when Ben decides he’s done, he doesn’t quit.

He came in first in the Quicksilver Pro France. Rey discovered in that tournament that watching her hot husband shred the waves and the competition just did things to her. She attacked him every day as soon as their hotel door closed. Ben started to reconsider his retirement.

They decided to stay in the South of France until it’s time for the MEO Rip Curl Pro in Portugal. They explored the Iles de Lerins and Le Monastere Fortifie. They shopped and strolled down Rue d'Antibes, and he took pictures of her at the Star-Studded Floor where she pretended she was a movie star.

The second day in Portugal Ben got a cold. Rey had the chance to nurse him this time. Though he was nowhere near as sick as she was in Australia, he reminded her that baths are required for colds, and he needed assistance--in the tub assistance. 

She was not convinced he was as sick as he claimed. 

He surfed anyhow and managed to pull off a second place finish. One more tournament and he would hang up his board.

He couldn’t wait. He was ready to go home and just be with his wife.


	22. Home - Reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAAAAHHHHH!!! This is the last regular chapter. I have an idea for an epilogue, but it will be a week or so till that is ready.
> 
> I just want to say a huge thank you and give big hugs to all of you who have come along on this journey with me. Your encouragement, excitement, and kind words have meant the world to me! Aloha for now!

They are home for four days before the jet lag lets them come up for air. Rey has never been so tired in her life. She caught the cold from Ben on the way home, so now he’s back to taking care of her. He excels at that. He even ran into town and found some of the eucalyptus oil like the nurse used in Australia to put in a bath for her.

On day five at home, she looked at her pack of birth control pills and realized she might be off a day. What day was it in Portugal when they left? What day was it here? Her foggy brain couldn’t even figure it out. Ben came in the bathroom and saw her staring at it.

“Rey...are you OK?”

“Huh...yeah, I think so. I am trying to do time zone math in my head to figure out if I missed taking a pill.”

He was brushing his teeth but froze. “Whaaa” he managed to garble out.

She started to panic. “I don’t even know if I did, and when I did. And then being sick--my head is all fuzzy. Ben...this might not be good.”

He quickly finished brushing his teeth. He walked over to her and hugged her. “Neoa...whatever happens, it will be good. It will be what it will be.”

“But...but you wanted to wait.”

“Well...sure, I thought that would be ideal, but what you think is ideal and what is real and good sometimes are two different things. We’re in this together...that makes it very good.”

She locked eyes with him. “You wouldn’t be disappointed?”

He brushed the hair off her forehead. “How could I be disappointed with something like that? Something that is a part of both of us. No way. Plus, I will be home now, so if that did happen, you wouldn't be on your own with a baby so much.”

She nodded, clearly still in shock at the possibility.

“So...when will you know if we have something to think about?”

She looked back at her pill packet. “In about two weeks?”

He kissed her forehead. “Then we will worry about it in two weeks.”

“But...I mean, I don’t know if that means I am protected now. I don’t know when it was missed, if it was missed...maybe we shouldn’t…”

He snorted, “No way, little Solo. I’ll take my chances. That’s not happening.”

She giggled. They did have some making up to do after all the jet lag and cold stuff.

He cocked his head and gave her one of his crooked smiles. “Isn't it time for your bath?”

“I’m not sick anymore, Solo.”

He felt her forehead. “I dunno...you feel pretty warm to me. We better put you in there one last time to make sure…”

_________________________

He had gotten into the habit since they got home of making her tea each morning. Sometimes she was still asleep, and he would nuzzle her neck with his lips to wake her up. Sometimes she would just lay there awake, knowing he would be along soon with it. Today was one of the latter days.

He set her teacup on the nightstand and leaned down to kiss her good morning. 

She let him, then said, “I...I got my period. We are in the clear.”

She couldn’t read his expression. It didn’t look as relieved as she thought it would be. “Oh.” was all he said.

She peered up at him, trying to get a gauge on him. “Ben...what is it?”

“Well...I kind of got used to the idea. I was thinking about what our baby might look like, what names we might like, how old they had to be before we taught them to surf...I just started thinking about all that. What you just told me should be a relief, but somehow it felt like a let-down.”

“What are you saying? Do you want to start a family now?”

He sighed. “No...I still think it’s a good idea to wait a bit...but I might be OK with moving up the timeframe. If you want to, that is.”

“I might be OK with that.”

He smiled at her, and then his eyes got wistful. “I was also thinking about what if would be like to watch you. To see you pregnant and know the life you are carrying is made up of both of us, to see you being a mom. I think you will be amazing at it. It will be beautiful.”

They are holding hands and her eyes are teary now. “How do you know? I mean...I have no idea what a mother should be like. I would be afraid of messing out kids up.”

He shook his head. “Not possible. You take care of everyone in your life. You will be fantastic at it. I know it.”

She nodded, blinking back tears. 

“Now...are you feeling OK? Do you need any Advil?”

“Yeah...that would be good.”

He ran to the bathroom to get the meds for her, then crawls back into bed with her and rests his large, warm hands on her abdomen.

“So...I read somewhere that orgasms can help ease cramps.”

She almost spit out her tea. “What?”

“Yeah--it’s true. The contractions are supposed to help relax your uterus which helps with cramps.”

“And just where did you read that, Benjamin Solo?”

“Ummm...I might have picked up a woman’s magazine at the store when I was waiting for your prescription the other day.”

“Oh really?” she snorted as she pictured her ginormous husband trying read about period orgasms inconspicuously at Walgreen's. “I have never heard of that, and it sounds like a messy prospect.”

He leans over and starts kissing her neck. 

“I mean...Keoa...it’s medically documented.”

She laughed, thinking how crazy he sounded. But then as he kept kissing her, he started to sound not so nuts. In fact, she thought he might be on to something.

“Ben...it seems like that might require...adjustments?”

“Yup...I read all about that in Marie Claire too. I got this.”

__________________________

A few weeks later and the night before the Billabong Pipe Masters Banzai Final, Rey was worried about him. Ben was quiet all day, almost like he was hiding something from her. He was also very clingy with her. Rey had been ill with yet another sinus infection and was finally well enough that they were able to be together, and he was almost insatiable.

They laid on the rug in front of the fireplace after he sought solace in her arms once again. Sated and out of breath, with her head resting on his chest, she finally asked him.

“Ben...what’s going on?”

“I...I’m not sure.”

She ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him as her nails gently scraped his scalp.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“I don’t know...I just feel sad. I can’t believe tomorrow is the last time I will compete,” he finally admitted.

She continued brushing his hair with her hand. “You know...you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to quit. I will support you. I will go with you if this is still what you want to do. You are still dominating...it’s not like you need to stop. I don’t want you to quit for me...because somehow your past makes you feel like you can’t have me and surfing professionally.”

He rolled on his side to face her and caressed her cheek with his hand. “That’s not it. I know you would be with me, no matter what I choose to do. That demon doesn’t haunt me anymore, E Ku'u Aloha. It’s not that I want to stay in...it’s just harder for me to let go than I thought it would be.”

“Ben...you have been doing this your whole adult life. Of course it makes sense that it is painful to let go. It’s OK to grieve it. But, again...are you sure?”

“I am...I have never been so sure of anything in my life. I want our plans. I want to spend more time with you here, I want to start our Camp Valor program--I want all of what we have planned. I think you are right...it’s just been a part of me for so long. It was an anchor in my life...a security net. I want to lose it because the net is more entangling now than helpful. But, it’s still been my net.”

“Koa - I want all that too...as long as you are ready. ”

He pulled her tight to his chest. “I am, Rey. I am. I am ready to let go.”

__________________________________

“Folks, we are witnessing the end of an era on the Oahu today. Kylo Ren, a hometown favorite here on the North Shore is retiring after the final heat today. Kylo has dominated this sport for twelve years, racking up too many championships in his professional career to count. He has left an indelible mark with his relentless focus and the sheer force of his strength. He is planning to establish a surf therapy facility with his wife, Rey, here on Oahu to treat veterans with PTSD. You can forgive him for leaving the sport with admirable plans like that in his future. Mr. Ren, you are a class act and will be missed. Godspeed.”

With Rey, Luke, and his parents cheering him on, he easily won his last pro final. He and Rey both had tears in their eyes when he found her on the beach after. He held her for several minutes, drawing her strength before turning to wave to the crowd. His heart was at peace. He was done.

_______________________________

It was a week before Christmas, and Kylo was making lots of mysterious trips around the Island in his new black Jeep. She knew him, and that he was likely up to Christmas shopping mischief, so she chose to ignore him.

Well...not ignore him. It was difficult to ignore a large, handsy, naked man in your room every day. 

But, she had some surprises of her own. She couldn’t wait for Christmas morning.

_________________________________

Christmas in Hawaii always seemed like an odd combination to her. Instead of snow and cold, they had palm trees and warm breezes. She was thinking about that as she felt the sun warm her face and the breezes on her back from the open windows.

She heard his footsteps come into the room and heard the click of him setting down her teacup. “Merry Christmas, Ku‘uipo. Are you ever going to wake up?”

She grinned and suddenly reached up to grab him and pull him down on her, planting a long, languid kiss on his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Koa.”

She rolled over on top of him, and started with surprise number one…

______________________________

“Wow,” he sputtered. “That wasn’t what I was expecting when I came up here to wake you up.”

“Mmm...that was a far cry from last Christmas, huh?”

He rolled over to look at her. “Um...last Christmas I was just excited to kiss you under the mistletoe and hold your hand. Who knew we would be where we are now?”

“Luke knew.”

“That annoying know-it-all…”

She laughed, and suddenly remembered they had house guests. “Ben, are your parents and Luke downstairs?”

He smacked his forehead. “Yeah...I told them I’d be right down with you. But, then you...distracted me. They are going to know what we were doing up here.”

She just grinned, not really caring. “Yup.”

________________________________

First thing when they got downstairs, Ben said he had a surprise for her, but he had to blindfold her. Skeptically, she allowed him to tie it on her as he led her outside.

“OK, Rey...no peeking!”

She gripped his hand tight with one hand and felt in front of her with the other. “I’m not...I can’t see a thing!” she promised.

“Are you sure?”

“I am positive. How long do I have to keep this thing on?”

“OK...I’m going to pull it off in three….two...one…”

He slipped it off her face, and in front of her, she saw a beautiful, red, hard-top, convertible Mercedes with a big white bow attached.

“Ben!” she cried. “It’s gorgeous!” she ran to him and hugged him, wrapping her arms and legs around him tightly.”

“I’m so glad you liked it. I know you have a thing for red convertibles.”

She slid her feet back down, the reality of the gift sinking in.

“Um...I do...but...do you know if...well…”

His brows furrowed. “What--do you not like this one? They had a turquoise one...I almost got it…”

“...no, Ben, that’s not it…”

“...because I know it’s your favorite color, but you picked a red convertible at the rental car place in LA, and you talked about that red Mercedes from when you were younger…”

“...really, it’s lovely and perfect, and it was so thoughtful of you...what I am trying to say…”

“...but you can exchange it if you would rather…”

She realized she needed to raise her voice. “BEN! Stop and please listen to me!”

His eyes looked hurt. “What?”

“I was just wondering if it has child safety features?”

Confusion clouded his features. “Why would you care….”

Then he froze. His jaw did that quirky thing.

“Rey...are you...I mean...are you telling me…”

She looked at him, tears in her eyes, and nodded. 

“B-b-but...how? I thought…”

“Well, it turns out that when you get yet another sinus infection from the cold your husband gave you, and you take antibiotics, they mess with the effectiveness of the pill,” she explained. Her brows furrowed in worry and she bit her lip. “Ben...are you OK with this?”

He just stood there, unmoving as in a trance. Then, suddenly he dropped down to his knees in front of her and pressed kisses into her stomach. He stood up, picked her up in a hug that pulled her feet off the ground and roared. By this time, Han, Leia, and Luke had all made their way outside.

Leia scolded him. “Benjamin Kylo Solo, what is all this ruckus out here? Why are you screaming like a madman on Christmas morning?”

He quieted and set her down, still holding her close to his side. He chewed on his lip for a moment while he figured out how to tell them. Suddenly his face lit up with that crooked grin he got from his dad, and he said, “Hey, Mom & Dad...I finally knocked her up.”

Realization washed over them. 

Leia screamed.

Luke grinned like the Cheshire Cat, as if he knew that was going to happen too.

Han stumbled over to him, and he could have sworn he saw a tear in his dad’s eye before he leaned over to hug him and whisper in his ear, “I’m proud of you, son.”


	23. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know...I know...I said next week. You know I like to surprise you early, though!
> 
> I am working on another fic. It is still early, so it likely won't get posted for a month or two. But if you want to be in the know on it, just subscribe to my profile and you will get notified when it's posting! https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargazer1116
> 
> THANK YOU for reading!

“Wake-up, sleepy Ku‘uipo” she heard him whisper in her ear, just as consciousness was returning to her. She stretched languidly, then suddenly startled and sat up.

“Where is Hope?”

“She’s having coffee with Uncle Luke. I know you had a rough night with her...I thought you should sleep in.”

Rey’s posture relaxed and she leaned back against the headboard. Her almost three-month-old daughter did keep her up in the night a bit. She was a pretty good baby, but Rey suspected she was starting to teeth. Ben had gotten up to get her from her room the first few times, but on the third and fourth times, he had slept through it.

She picked up the tea Ben had set on her nightstand and then paused before taking a sip. “Luke does know that babies can’t drink coffee...right?”

__________________________

After readying herself for the day and collecting Hope from Luke, she made her way down the beach to Camp Valor. They had just opened their doors last Summer, about a quarter of a mile down the beach from their house. Because of the pregnancy and then maternity leave, Rey was not as involved in the daily therapy as she hoped, but she was very much involved in the planning and facilitation of the work they were doing. 

The Skywalker Foundation had decided to gift them the funds to build three patient huts to hold six people and a combination office/dining hall facility. There was also a side room with workout equipment that would eventually become storage. Phase two of the facility was to add three more patient huts and a proper workout room, including a wing for physical therapy. 

Their foray into their work brought other individuals out of the woodwork. A local therapist was wanting to offer his services to those who still had a need for physical therapy, or assist those who needed additional support with injuries or prosthetics to surf.

Rey entered the mess hall, calling out a greeting to their residents. The men loved when she and Hope visited. Some of them were away from family while they received treatment, and some of them just looked forward to holding something sweet and cuddly after all they had been through.

James, one of the latter, eagerly approached Rey. “I’m done eating...can I hold her first?”

She passed off the baby to him. Not for the first time, she marveled at what an unexpected addition Hope brought to the soldiers they worked with. It was almost as if she reminded them of why their role and recovery was important.

She set down the diaper bag on the kitchen counter and went to find Luke.

“Hey Kimo...have you seen Luke?”

The man who had been cleaning up after cooking breakfast turned to greet her. “Hey, Iki Kekahi. Where is Bebe?”

She nodded her head back towards the dining room. “James has her...take a number” she chuckled as she walked back out and to the offices to find Luke.

She shook her head, still not really believing that this was happening. Her dream was coming true. And, they had worked with Second Chances to hire a few staff members, including Kimo who was sober two and a half years, and an excellent cook. 

Luke looked up from the paperwork on his desk when she stood in the doorway. “Hey...where is Hope?”

Rey sighed, “You know, people used to be a lot more excited to see me…”

Luke grinned, “Sorry, Rey. What can I help you with?”

“I was just wanted to see if you heard back on our timeline for phase 2? Are we still on target for summer?”

“I think so. You know that construction on Hawaii time isn’t always on a schedule, but I think we can be complete by late August.”

“Good. I got an email from Mike O’Neill, and he was hoping to come over for a visit and check out what we are doing. I think he just wants an excuse for a tropical vacation, but he was interested in the therapy wing and was hoping to coordinate with that.”

Luke nodded. “Hey...Leia and Han’s flight got changed. I am picking them up tomorrow morning instead of tomorrow night.”

She smiled. Her in-laws were doting grandparents and were making plans to visit Oahu more often. When she was born, Leia even hinted at building another cottage for longer visits. They were here for Christmas through Ben’s birthday and planned to come back again two months later.

She tossed a goodbye to Luke before going back to collect her daughter. When she entered the room, she saw that Ben was there now. He had Hope in the air above his head, swinging her around like she was flying. Hope was laughing and smiling, and the look of joy on her husband’s face sent waves of warmth through her chest.

She had loved Ben for almost two years now, but seeing him as a dad had opened up a whole new side of him to admire. Camp Valor had become a focus for him and he was intently involved with the construction--until Hope was born. He still participated in lessons and ate with their residents frequently, often with Hope in tow. He even took her out on his board sometimes, when the waves were small and gentle. Rey wondered if she would know how to surf as soon as she learned how to stand.

“There you are, E Ku'u Aloha. I was looking for you. I have a surprise to show you.” He kissed her hand and then held it, pulling her back towards the offices. 

He handed Hope to Luke and steered her back to the counter behind the desk that he and Rey used. 

“I had wanted to save this till later, but I am just too excited and couldn’t wait to show you. I just got confirmation from the contractor that this is doable.”

Her gaze went up to his, questioning. “What is it...what are you so excited about.”

He laid out an artist rendering of...she wasn’t immediately sure what it was. There was water and people were surfing on it, but it wasn’t the ocean. “I don’t understand...what is it?”

He smiled down at her. “It’s a surf pool--like that one in California I told you about? We can put it back on the flat section of land behind where the workout/therapy facility will be. The control it gives us will make it easier for the guys who are dealing with more physical challenges, and it will help make lessons more consistent when the waves aren’t cooperating.”

Understanding lit up her face as she smiled that light-filled smile up at him. “Really? We are going to have one of those? That is amazing? YOU are amazing, Ben. Thank you!”

His hands dropped the paper and he turned to her and drew her into his arms. “You are welcome, but I hope you know I am just as excited about this. It will really help with what we are trying to do here.”

Her brows furrowed as she rolled a thought around in her mind. “It seems like this is really expensive...are you sure?”

He tugged her to himself tighter and kissed her head. “I am sure, Ku‘uipo. This is a joint effort between the foundation and us personally. It is going to be such a great tool to make this all easier for our residents. Besides, since you are sleeping with the main donor...”

He leaned down and cupped her chin, pulling it up so he could kiss her. She eagerly reciprocated, enjoying being in his arms.

“Get a room….” Luke said in a disgusted tone, but his sneaky smile gave him away.

_____________________________

Christmas morning dawned early for Rey. She was up at 5 am with Hope, then fell asleep with the baby between her and Ben. When she finally stirred a few hours later, Ben was already awake and watching her. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

“How long have you been laying there watching me?” she whispered as Hope still slept between them.

“Oh...about half an hour,” he whispered back.

She nodded, reaching out to caress his cheek with her heart in her eyes.

“I can’t believe what a blessed man I am to get to wake up with the two most beautiful women in the world slumbering in my bed.”

“You know, Ben...for not being sure about the kid thing, you are crushing this dad job.”

He leaned over Hope to kiss Rey’s temple. “As are you, my love. You are an amazing mom, and somehow it has made you more lovely. I thought you were beautiful before, but that opinion has increased exponentially..”

They heard the distinct sound of fingers being sucked on and looked down to see Hope looking up at them.

She giggled and reached down to her daughter to rub her downy black hair. “Well look who is awake. Merry first Christmas, baby girl.”

_____________________________

They were almost done with opening presents when Ben took Hope from her and handed her an envelope.

“What is this?”

He gave her that crooked smile and said, “I guess you need to open it to find out.”

She turned the envelope to open the flap. Inside she found a brochure for the place in Tahiti they had stayed at for their honeymoon and that competition after they had confessed their love for each other.

“I don’t understand?”

“Mom and dad are going to watch Hope so we can go celebrate our second anniversary next week. I get you all to myself for five days.”

Her face looked panicked. “But Ben...I can’t leave her for five days. I have to feed her!”

“Rey, you have a weeks worth of milk in the freezer, and you can pump while you are gone. It will be fine.”

She looked back down to the brochure, then up to Ben’s eyes. They had so little time alone these days. She knew it was true, that there was milk for Hope and that Leia would take good care of her. She felt apprehensive about leaving her for the first time, but looking up into her husband’s molten chocolate eyes, a quiver of excitement unfurled in her gut as she thought about a few days alone with him.

She smiled and kissed him. “Thank you, Ben...I can’t wait. It will be good.”

She watched as Ben carried Hope over to Han who was holding his arms open for her from across the room. Hope immediately put her fingers in his mouth, and Han made “yum-yum” noises as he pretended like he was eating them. Hope laughed and did it again. Leia looked on with joy all over her face.

She looked at Luke, who was looking at Han in disbelief. He had said on several occasions how un-Han Han was when it came to Hope. He had known his brother-in-law since he was nineteen, and he went on ad nauseum about how he had never seen this side of him.

Rey turned her gaze back up to her husband. Two years ago, she never could have guessed what would happen. She thought about that conversation they had before the first time they went surfing, about grace being found in unexpected places, and how true that had been in her life. She went from being alone to being part of this crazy family, and she loved every minute of it. Especially belonging to the man next to her that made her toes curl and stomach flip with just a glance. 

She leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Thank you again...for the trip. It will be good to go back there.”

He nodded and then smirked as he dipped his head to her ear to whisper, “Yeah...and maybe the third time will be the charm that I will actually get to have sex with my wife in that room.”

She giggled and said, "And sleep, Ben...and sleep!

___________________________

THANK YOU to all you fantastic readers! Your response to this story has been overwhelming to me! I appreciate you coming along on this ride that spilled out of my brain after my Hawaiian vacation, then grew as I started doing research on pro surfing and surf therapy. I love y’all from the bottom of my heart!


	24. A new fic!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends...no new chapter to Hawaii Reylo (sorry), but I wanted to let you all know I have a new fic I just posted the first chapter of, "Force Du Coeur." If you liked Breaking Point, I think you will like it too! You can check it out at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161705
> 
> Here's the summary:
> 
> "Force du Coeur" means "strength of heart" in French...and that it includes "force" makes it THAT MUCH BETTER!
> 
> Kylo Ren is the CEO of a successful corporation in NYC. In a power play, his board, led by his uncle, demand that he marry to makeover his dismal public image. Rey is an art therapist working with foster kids in Harlem. When she contacts Kylo for possible support, he proposes a business deal that can benefit them both. He has no idea how much this woman with a fierce heart will turn his world upside down.
> 
> If you are looking for a fluffy, romantic, Reylo love story, I'm your girl. The rating will not change. I'm the PG-13 gal of the Reylo fic fandom!

See above for the update!

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT IS SURF THERAPY?  
> Surf Therapy, or Ocean Therapy, is a very recent development in psychotherapy treatment widely used for veterans who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), combat stress, depression, traumatic brain injury (TBI), and other life-threatening injuries. Today, addiction psychiatrists find relevant uses for Surf Therapy to treat substance abuse disorders and co-occurring disorders associated with drug addiction. As the name implies, Surf Therapy utilizes the ocean for its mental health benefits, such as increasing self-efficacy, alleviating insomnia, and improving cognitive concentration.
> 
> Information on the World Surf League: http://www.worldsurfleague.com/events/2018/mct


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